The More One Cares, The More One Fears
Regarding Yang Haoran's request, Guan Hai naturally wouldn't refuse. What's more, for such a small matter as safekeeping something, he had even less reason to decline.
“Don't worry, I'll absolutely keep it safe and sound for you. It'll be exactly as you gave it to me when you return; not a single thing will change. ”
Though Guan Hai's face was flushed with drunkenness, he made a solemn vow to Yang Haoran.
Yang Haoran, of course, had no doubts about Guan Hai's words. After so many years of friendship, he trusted Guan Hai implicitly.
After telling Guan Hai the password, Yang Haoran spoke again: “Within ten days, if I haven't come back to retrieve the case from you, open it. Inside, you'll find a way to help me out of danger. ”
Yang Haoran spoke these words with great seriousness. Upon hearing them, a degree of the drunkenness on Guan Hai's face retreated, replaced by a growing concern.
“What are you going to do? From the sound of it, this trip seems quite dangerous,” Guan Hai asked.
Yang Haoran smiled and shook his head, saying, “There's no major danger, but minor troubles are certainly inevitable. However, for the sake of caution, I've simply made an extra preparation. ”
Yang Haoran's smile was natural, betraying no hint of anything amiss. Only after hearing Yang Haoran's explanation did the worry on Guan Hai's face slowly fade.
Yang Haoran merely smiled, saying nothing. Yet, in his heart, he couldn't help but sigh deeply, for the words he had just spoken to Guan Hai were mostly fabrications, with only a sliver of truth.
Indeed, the Metal Password Case contained extremely important items. All of Yang Haoran's crucial belongings were now inside this case—this much was true, and he wasn't deceiving Guan Hai.
And the instruction that Guan Hai should open the Metal Password Case if he didn't return within ten days was also true.
As for leaving Lecheng to handle some matter, and that there wasn't much danger, and so on—these were all lies.
Because after entrusting the Metal Password Case to Guan Hai, he had no intention of ever retrieving it. The reason was simple: once this night passed, he feared he would dissipate between heaven and earth, leaving no chance to return for the case.
Though he understood this in his heart, he still had to make some arrangements before his death. He couldn't let the treasures he had painstakingly acquired become a wedding dress for strangers, or forever remain sealed beneath the earth, simply because of his demise.
Inside the Metal Password Case were the collections he had obtained from Jiang Dashi: texts on Talisman Arts, the methods of Ghost Exorcism, the Enchantment Art, his bank card, the spirit tablets of his parents, and a letter—or, more accurately, a will.
The bank card held all of Yang Haoran's savings from over the years, which he decided to leave entirely to Guan Hai. As for his parents' spirit tablets, he hoped Guan Hai could offer them incense and worship on his behalf in the future.
The books on Talisman Arts and other subjects, Yang Haoran intended to leave for Xu Meijing and Wang Yiming. If Guan Hai wished to learn them, he could also make a copy.
In truth, Guan Hai was living quite well now, so Yang Haoran felt that remaining an ordinary person suited Guan Hai just fine.
Furthermore, Guan Hai knew he possessed special abilities, yet had never asked him to teach him. From this, Yang Haoran figured Guan Hai probably wasn't very interested in such matters.
Therefore, the books in the Metal Password Case were primarily for Wang Yiming and Xu Meijing.
Of course, Yang Haoran also considered that his judgment might be flawed. It was entirely possible that Guan Hai had always been interested in these miraculous methods but was too embarrassed to ask for instruction. Thus, he had specifically stipulated in his will that if Guan Hai wished to learn, he could copy all the books and secret arts he left behind.
While alive, Yang Haoran hadn't shared the Broken Book containing the Talisman Arts with Wang Yiming, not wanting to invite unnecessary trouble upon himself.
However, if he were dead, it would be different.
As for Xu Meijing, while she claimed to have no interest in these books and secret arts, Yang Haoran suspected she might just be too embarrassed to accept more benefits, especially since she had taken a full Soul-Gathering Bead's worth of souls previously.
If she was too embarrassed, then he would proactively offer them to her. Whether she ultimately decided to cultivate them was entirely up to Xu Meijing. Regardless of whether these items caught Xu Meijing's eye, they were at least a token of his sincerity.
Tonight, Yang Haoran had come to see Guan Hai not only to bid him farewell but also, in truth, to make arrangements for his affairs after death. However, all these instructions were left within his will.
After Guan Hai put away the Metal Password Case, Yang Haoran left the bar, declining Guan Hai's invitation to find another spot for more drinks.
Back in the car, Yang Haoran's head felt swimmy. He pulled out his phone and quickly typed a number onto the screen.
It was clear that this number held a very important place in his heart. More precisely, the owner of this number occupied a significant place in his heart; otherwise, how could he have remembered their phone number so perfectly?
This number belonged to none other than Xu Meijing, the arrogant, disdainful woman he had once found utterly detestable.
He had entered the number with familiar ease, yet he hesitated, reluctant to press the call button. Instead, his expression was a tangled mess of complexity and struggle.
Though he was unwilling to admit it, he couldn't deny that, at some point, his aversion to Xu Meijing had not only vanished but had been replaced by a nascent fondness.
He had originally believed that this peculiar fondness would wane with the passage of time, especially after Xu Meijing's departure. However, the opposite had occurred; this strange affection hadn't diminished in the slightest, instead growing more intense.
Despite this special fondness for Xu Meijing, Yang Haoran was a relatively rational person, and he hadn't allowed this powerful emotion to completely cloud his judgment.
He was keenly aware that his fondness for Xu Meijing was one-sided—to put it bluntly, it was unrequited. He had no idea what she truly thought.
Some people are like this: the more they care, the more they fear losing, and the more they dread speaking up. They fear that speaking will not only fail to yield the desired outcome but might even backfire, making the situation worse. Thus, they'd rather remain silent, hoping to at least preserve the friendship.
Clearly, Yang Haoran was one such person.
In Yang Haoran's heart, he always felt that the gap between himself and Xu Meijing was too vast. Whether it was in appearance, social standing, or power, the disparity was immense. This colossal gap felt like an insurmountable ocean stretching before him, making him unable to see its end and simultaneously burdening his heart with immense pressure.
Some say that being "well-matched" has ruined many marriages, but in Yang Haoran's view, there was some truth to that statement.
If two people are together, yet not "well-matched," perhaps no major issues will be apparent at first. But if they continue to associate for a long time, many problems will erupt precisely because of this disparity.
While "well-matched" typically refers only to family background, for Yang Haoran, the vast difference in power and status between himself and Xu Meijing was precisely that: not "well-matched."
It was precisely because of this that he had never taken that step, and why he had developed the idea of frantically improving his own strength.
Because, as he was now, he consistently felt he possessed no redeeming qualities in Xu Meijing's eyes. Why would she ever be interested in him?
Therefore, if he were to take that step, he was highly likely to not get the result he wanted, and might even cut off his own retreat.
Of course, these were merely Yang Haoran's personal conjectures and opinions, and did not mean everyone would think as he did.
Perhaps it was precisely because he overthought things too much, lacking Guan Hai's free-spiritedness in this regard, that he remained single to this day.
With a trace of drunkenness on his face, Yang Haoran lit a cigarette. His phone was clutched in his hand, his expression still wracked with struggle and hesitation.
He knew well that if he didn't take that step tonight, he might never get another chance, not in this life or any other.
Yet, in this aspect, he was ultimately too cowardly, too hesitant. After a period of agonizing indecision, he still decided not to take that step. He wanted to leave himself a little fantasy, a little hope, before he died. He didn't want to depart this world burdened by despair and rejection.
As long as he hadn't taken that step, he absolutely wouldn't suffer a blow, and that sliver of hope in his heart wouldn't be shattered. And that sliver of hope, at the very least, could grant him a modicum of imaginative space.
Although he decided not to take that step, he still, fueled by the alcohol, sent a message to Xu Meijing.
This time, the message he sent wasn't the usual innocuous query like "What are you doing? " or "Are you busy? " Instead, it was simply, "Do you have a boyfriend?"
Those few short words seemed to weigh a thousand pounds, almost suffocating him. It was only after half a day of hesitation that he gritted his teeth and pressed the send button with trembling fingers.
After successfully sending the message, his heart pounded wildly, like a thief caught red-handed by the homeowner.
Yang Haoran had thought that, given Xu Meijing's personality, she would most likely ignore such a sensitive question, or perhaps be too busy to reply quickly. But to his utter astonishment, no sooner had the message been sent than he received an immediate reply.
Unable to suppress his inner turmoil, Yang Haoran tapped open the message. Xu Meijing's reply was even shorter: two words—"No, I don't."
A smile involuntarily blossomed on his face. Buoyed by the alcohol, Yang Haoran typed out a few more words and sent them.
“Why not get one? ”
Her reply was just as simple and direct as before, but this time, it made the smile on Yang Haoran's face freeze.
“Any man who has actively approached me has disappeared, so I've stopped looking. Besides, I'm not interested in ordinary men anyway. Being single is quite good. ”
It was a while before Yang Haoran replied with a bitter smile.
“Yes, being single is good. Free and unrestrained, no arguments, no fuss. ”
“Why did you suddenly ask about that? ”
“Heh heh, just a little curious, purely curious,”
“Put away your curiosity, and remember not to get too close to me. Otherwise, you might disappear one day too. ”
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