Chapter 394 |
Even if it was only for a fleeting moment, I saw it clearly: the flicker of agitation that crossed Seraph's face.
"Wh-Where did you hear that?"
"To angels and demons, the Zero Code is a key. For the angels, it's a protective device for the Heavenly Realm that must be guarded at all costs. For the demons, it's the key to the Heavenly Realm that must be acquired no matter what."
"—Ha. I don't know where or from whom you heard that, but... you heard it from a demon, didn't you, User Kim Soohyun?"
I recited what I had heard from Astaroth. He had told me much more, but this was alone enough to determine the truth.
And now, I waited for the response that would follow.
"-_-"
"-_-"
But it never came. No matter how long I waited, Seraph's lips showed no sign of opening.
Perhaps I had sensed it from the moment I saw her reaction.
Seraph, who had always been so calm and composed. But now, she was suddenly stuttering, desperately trying to hide her unease. The fact that her reply, which normally would have come instantly, had not come for over five minutes spoke volumes in place of the words I wasn't hearing.
Despite this, I opened my mouth one more time.
"Answer me."
"-_-"
But the silence remained.
The truth was now painfully obvious.
At the same time, the tip of the sword aimed at Seraph began to tremble faintly. It wasn't some technique or skill. The hand gripping the sword was simply, purely trembling.
Angels always called themselves a rational race. In this moment, I felt the chilling truth of that statement to my very bones.
Something inside me had broken long ago. The only reason I was still standing here was because a single sliver of the hope I had chased for ten years still remained.
Finally, with a sense of finality, I spoke.
"I heard you lost."
"L-Lost?"
"I heard you were defeated in the war against the demons. That you were too scared to face them again, so you started indiscriminately summoning humans to act as your proxies."
"Scared? You think we didn't act because we were scared of more demons? User Kim Soohyun, that is a grave misunderstanding. I can assure you that, at the very least, that part is not true."
"Then why?"
"Th-That is... a matter I cannot speak of. It is information that cannot be disclosed to a User. But do not forget. The one who told you this was a demon. Do you not know what kind of beings they are?"
At Seraph's long-awaited reply, I slowly closed my eyes. A wave of sorrow washed over me.
"Haha... Those words are even more terrifying to me."
"U-User Kim Soohyun?"
"At the very least? Then that means the rest of it is true..."
"!?"
Her earnest tone was cut short. At the same time, the thread of hope I had clung to for ten years finally snapped.
I spoke in a choked voice.
"You..."
But my breath caught in my throat, and I had to stop. The very air seemed to freeze.
Slowly, I lifted my gaze from the tip of my sword and stared at Seraph.
Her wings shimmered restlessly.
Seraph looked at me with a pitiful expression before squeezing her eyes shut and looking away.
The moment I saw that, I roared and charged with all the strength I had in me.
"You fucking bitches!"
The distance closed in an instant, and my sword flashed fiercely as it thrust toward Seraph's heart. But in that moment, I felt myself thrown backward, and Seraph's face, which had been so close, was pushed far away. Some powerful force had repelled me.
As I felt myself roll smoothly across the ground, I shot back to my feet like a leopard. I immediately kicked off the ground and charged again.
Or rather, I was about to.
"Heok... Heok..."
Before I knew it, my body was floating in the air. An unknown force enveloped me, restricting my every move. No matter how hard I struggled, my body wouldn't budge. I could only glare at Seraph, my eyes feeling like they would tear apart. I must have bitten my lip too hard earlier, as I could feel the warm trickle of blood in my mouth.
After a short while, my body was lowered back to the ground. The restraining force was gone. Mechanically, I raised my sword again.
Even with my meager stats, I summoned every ounce of magic I had and focused it into my sword. A brilliant, deep blue sword aura bloomed, and I sent it flying.
"Thwang!"
Seraph still hadn't moved. But once again, something blocked the wave of energy I had unleashed.
Without even a moment to identify what it was, I dredged up every last bit of my strength, drew out more magic, and with a great roar, I swung down violently.
"Uwaah! Uwaaagh!"
"Thwang!"
But the wave of energy that had fiercely cut through the air simply dissipated against the force. Should I take comfort in the fact that it at least created a few sparks?
"Haa... Haa..."
The thought was so absurd, even to me, that an empty laugh escaped my lips.
The first emotion I felt was a tumultuous one that consumed my entire being. The next was a rage so intense it made my whole body tremble. And now, after realizing there was nothing I could do, the emotion that settled in was...
An unbearable sense of futility.
Feeling the strength drain from my body, I collapsed to my knees.
A wave of dizziness washed over me. Even though my eyes were closed, faces began to appear in the darkness.
My brother. Han So-yeong. And everyone else.
My face contorted in anguish as their faces flashed by one by one.
I thought I could finally see them again.
I thought I could finally repay my debts.
I thought we could finally go back together.
"All this time... what was it all for...?"
The fact that it was all impossible sent me spiraling into despair once more.
I eventually muttered under my breath.
"Fine... I got it."
"User..."
"Angels and demons. Whatever circumstances you have are none of my business. But. Why did you use me beforehand?"
After spitting out the words, I snapped my head up to look at the altar. Then, in a voice like a beast's roar, I spoke again.
"A User who has died once can never return. Why didn't you tell me that beforehand?"
But Seraph didn't answer. She only looked down at me with sad eyes. Our gazes met in the air, and my vision began to distort. As my sight blurred, I threw the sword in my hand as if to smash it.
Clang! Clang, clang, clang...
"Why? Why didn't you tell me? Why did you lie?"
"We d-did not lie!"
"What? What did you say? You demons like... no, you bastards are worse than demons!"
I screamed like a madman. But it wasn't enough to quell my rage. I slammed my clenched fists against the floor—once, twice, three times.
That! That! That!
"S Soohyun?"
"What? You didn't lie? Are you telling me you didn't know I was trying to save my brother and Han So-yeong and return with them?"
"I admit there was some misunderstanding. But if we hadn't done it that way—!"
"Fuck that up! Astaroth was right! How are you any different from the demons!"
I reflexively opened my left hand, revealing the Zero Code I had been clutching. The blue orb, slick with sweat, emitted a light like a calm sea.
I threw it at Seraph with all my might.
Thwack!
The orb flew through the air and struck Seraph squarely in the face. Her head snapped to the side, and the orb fell with a soft "clink" to the floor. It rolled across the ground and came to a stop between us.
I froze for a moment. My breathing was ragged, and I could feel my jaw trembling. Slowly, Seraph turned her head to face me directly.
"Soohyun."
"You're the same. Exactly the same."
I could see her trembling eyes, but the rage that filled my head made me ignore it completely.
"You and the demons, you both used us. You threw in this ridiculous 'User' setting and used us! Why did we have to get dragged into your dogfight? Answer me! Can't you then? Then have one of the other bitches come out and answer! You goddamn bitches!"
My shouts echoed through the dark Summoning Room. But as expected, there was no response. Only Seraph, sitting on the altar, received my words without moving a muscle.
It felt like she was avoiding me—no, it felt like she was looking at me as if nothing was wrong, and the world started to spin.
"I never thought I'd regret killing every last demon. If only one of them were left... the Zero Code—"
"User Kim Soohyun! Don't even say such things...!"
"Why? Is it too harsh? What you did to us wasn't harsh, but this feels harsh to you?"
I cut Seraph off as I pushed myself to my feet. For a moment, I desperately wanted to pick up my sword and charge again, but for some reason, my strength had vanished, and all I could do was stand.
"You could have at least not deceived me."
My voice was completely hoarse.
"What? You didn't lie? Right. But you didn't tell me either, did you? It's not like you didn't know what I wanted, right? You knew, didn't you?"
"-_-"
"I did everything you asked. Huh? But are you guys always like this? After me, after using me to your heart's content! If I were you, I'd feel too sorry to be like this at the end!"
"Soohyun!"
Seraph, who had been calling my name over and over. I lifted my chin as if to dare her to speak, and she remained silent. As she looked at me with her blank, her eyes filled with sorrow. Facing her, I let out a twisted smile. Right. There was nothing she could say.
A wave of fatigue so profound I felt I could collapse at any moment washed over me. But I suspected this, too, was one of Seraph's tricks, so I endured it and spoke in a trembling voice.
"Right. None of this matters to you now, does it? The demons are gone, and I have the Zero Code. So my feelings don't matter at all. Isn't that right?"
Seraph shook her head as if to say no. She bit her lip, looking so tormented it seemed she might break and start to cry. But even then, she just looked at me blankly, her eyes filled with sorrow.
"Don't make that face. I'm not falling for it anymore. No. You don't even need to deceive me anymore, do you?"
"-_-"
"You're truly amazing. Still. I actually believed you once, you know? Seraph. When I had lost everything, you were the only one I could rely on. Your judgment was always rational, and you led me in the right direction. I was grateful to you for that. Even though you were just a Helper, I thought, 'She genuinely cares for me.' That's what I thought..."
Even when Astaroth told me everything, I had still believed Seraph. Because I thought demons were untrustworthy. Because I thought it was just a last, desperate act in the face of death.
"But when the truth came out, it turned out you guys were just as bad. In the end, you only helped me because of that Zero Code thing!"
"User Kim Soohyun. I will not deny that some of what you say is true. But it is not just."
"That damned it's not just? Why can't you? Why can't you just, one, say that's not it?"
A long sigh escaped Seraph's lips. She brought her hands together in front of the altar, leaned forward, and bowed her head, her body slumping. Her long hair fell, partially obscuring her face.
A low voice flowed from the altar.
"If I had told you the whole truth back then... I could well imagine what decision you would have made. That's how you were trembling with guilt back then, Soohyun. Not a single day went by..."
"Aha. Really? No. That's not it, Seraph. You weren't thinking of me, you were thinking of yourselves, the angels. A plan to somehow coax one of the countless Users into protecting the Zero Code for you..."
"It wasn't a plan! It was just, just!"
Seraph suddenly snapped her head up. For the first time, she raised her voice.
"I didn't want Soohyun to die. I didn't want to see you take your own life."
Seraph barely managed to finish her sentence. Feeling utterly incredulous, I replied immediately.
"What a great excuse. 'It was for my sake.' Nice. For a Helper, it's the perfect excuse that can be twisted to fit any situation, isn't it?"
"-_-"
Seraph's face was deathly pale. The wings that had been glowing behind her now dropped limply. I forced a smile at the sight of her suffering.
"Aren't you ashamed of yourself? I'm never seen a bitch as nauseating as you."
And without another word, Seraph lowered her head again.
"Vile bitch."
A brief silence fell. I slowly began to walk forward.
I stopped in the middle of the room. Looking down at the floor, I saw the Zero Code, still emitting its calm light.
As I bent down and reached for it, I felt a wave of misery. The days I had endured and struggled to obtain this flashed before my eyes like the wind.
"What the hell even is this thing...?"
With each passing moment, the emotions that filled me churned more violently. As I toyed with the orb for a while, I sensed a gaze from ahead and lifted my head.
Seraph was once again staring at me with calm eyes. The sight of them made me want to kill her. But I suppressed the urge. Then, without any real meaning, I asked a question whose answer was already decided.
"It's not a lie that you can't send my brother and Han So-yeong back, is it?"
Seraph slowly nodded.
"Hahaha. I see you're not lying now."
I couldn't bear it any longer and closed my eyes. Suddenly, my sense of balance seemed to crumble. I let my body go, not caring what happened.
How much time passed like that?
When I came to my senses, I saw the gray stone floor through my disheveled hair. And between the strands, the blue orb, half-visible.
Staring blankly at the orb, I felt each emotion as it drained away from me.
Crushing despair...
The emptiness of being able to do nothing...
The betrayal of being used...
The pessimistic wish for death...
And the resignation that was slowly setting in...
The fierce life I had led for ten years had ended in futility. I wanted to do something. But there was nothing I could do. No tears came, and no voice would come out.
A moment later.
For no reason at all, I just muttered meaninglessly.
"Heh heh... What omnipotent power, what infinite power... when it can't even grant a single wish..."
And in that instant.
"!?"
The moment I thought of the word 'omnipotent', an idea flashed through my mind.
It was a thought that came without any warning.
A User who has died once can never return.
Then, what if I could nullify the fact that they died in the first place?
Was there a way to do that?
At that moment, I felt strength return to my eyes.
"Give them back... Yes."
With a sliver of hope rekindled, I slowly moved my arm and covered the Zero Code. I curled my fingers, gripping the orb tightly.
"Right. That's what I have to do. I just have to go back again."
"Pardon?"
"Seraph."
I felt strength returning to my entire body. I felt my eyes sharpen. I reached out with my right hand and summoned my magic. The sword, lying somewhere on the floor, scraped loudly as it flew into my grasp. Using it as a cane, I managed to pull myself up.
"I will use the Zero Code. Turn back time. Turn back to when I first arrived here."
"U-User Kim Soohyun?"
In that instant, Seraph's eyes widened in shock.
But I didn't answer, silently sheathing my sword at my waist.
"What are you talking about right now?"
I let out a long sigh and cleared my mind. I focused only on the single thread of hope I had grasped in the face of death.
Finally, I spoke in a voice raw and hoarse.
"As the First Successor of the Zero Code."
"So..."
"I request a time reversal."
"-_-"
I can't think of anything. I just blankly roll the small orb held in my left hand.
"User Kim Soohyun."
Ten years. I had achieved what I had so desperately yearned and dreamed of for that long, long time. And yet, it wouldn't go away. The sense of loss and the piercing ache in my heart that filled me now still tormented me.
User Kim Soohyun. May I ask you again?"
A low but beautiful, melodious voice struck my ear. Drawn by the sound, I slowly raised my head. As I did, the gray brick floor came into view. By the time the three-story space filled my vision, my slowly rising gaze came to a halt.
"The Summoning Room, the place where everything began and everything ended. And on the rectangular altar in the center of the room, wings radiating a white light shimmered faintly. Feeling a sense of emptiness, I fixed my gaze on the 'angel' sitting on the altar.
"I will reconfirm User Kim Soohyun's request. Do you truly wish to turn back the time of the Hall Plain?"
"Yes."
"I simply cannot comprehend it, I and all the other angels, cannot understand you."
"No, you're wrong. I'm not looking for your understanding, Seraph."
My own voice sounded so cold in my ears. The angel's voice was trembling slightly, unlike usual. Did that mean I had just said what was shocking?
Though she showed a moment of agitation, Seraph quickly recovered her expressionless face. And in her usual low voice, she began to calmly reason with me.
"User Kim Soohyun, you are the first User to have completed all the missions in the Hall Plain and reached the very top."
"And?"
"It is not a matter of 'and'. You have obtained the Zero Code you so desired. You have the 'qualification'. Within the bounds of that 'qualification', you can achieve any wish."
"Seraph. We're done talking."
Seeing that she wouldn't stop, I sighed and placed my right hand on my hip. The familiar feel of the sword's hilt filled my palm.
"Hmph, ten years was enough of falling for that sweet talk. I'm tired of it now. Seraph I won't say any more. No matter what words you use to entice me, I will not reconsider any use of the Zero Code."
I gripped the hilt hard enough to crush it and sent magic flowing through my circuits. Sensing the energy rising from my body, Seraph momentarily felt silent. But it was only for a moment. Soon, a look of pity covered her face as she looked at me. It seemed she had no intention of giving up on persuading me just yet.
"The ownership of the Zero Code belongs solely to User Kim Soohyun. We have no authority to touch it."
"That is why this is so regrettable... To use an object of such incredible power simply to turn back time is absurd."
"-_-"
"I will confirm one last time. Does User Kim Soohyun truly wish to repeat those ten painful years?"
By the time she finished, Seraph's tone was almost pleading. Suddenly, a laugh erupted from deep within me for no reason at all. It was a laugh without reason.
I laughed silently for a while.