Chapter 438 |
Day 100 – Nighttime, White Weirdo Inn
And then… I step into the realm of such hideous ugliness it makes your skin crawl… Damn it smells of dudes!
「Here, I finished the Meathead Special Idiot Edition MK-II Modified version of the combat armor, so go get used to it? You’re gonna be dungeon diving starting tomorrow, right? Ah, also, this is an engagement gift? If you don’t want your fiancee dying on you, then make sure she actually wears it, got it? Well, I mean, there’s a theory that you guys are the ones being trapped here, but whatever. Just give up, I guess?」
「Ohhh, thanks for the armor!」
「Engagement gift… wait, is this a ring?」
「Wait, it’s a pair set? This is seriously embarrassing?!」
Well, whether it’s your girlfriend, fiancée, or wife, if that’s someone important, of course you want to protect her.
「These are embedded with high-grade magic stones for status effect resistance, auto-recovery, and an emergency barrier, so don’t lose them! Even if you lose the one wearing it don’t you dare lose the rings? And don’t throw them, either!」
「「「「…Okay. Thanks.」」」」
By the way, I couldn’t attach the 『Can’t be removed』 effect. Maybe I should learn some curse magic~? I mean, what kind of enviable crap is this?
「Alright, with this, We’ve officially sent the Idiots off to the graveyard of life. And since they are now Living dead The Holy Magic’s 『Auto-Recovery』shpuld finish them off? I guess?」
「Man, marriage just doesn’t feel real…」
「Yeahhh, the whole Isekai thing felt more real than this, didn’t it?」
「「「Seriously, how did it come to this?! And don’t call us 『Living Dead』!」」」
Well, they probably hadn’t given it any thought. Then again, these guys never thought about anything ever? If you got all lovey-dovey with a noble princess, you better be prepared! They seriously lack awareness. I mean, they’re so short on brains or intelligence it’s close to zero.
「I mean… You’ve done and did it? Congrats with graduation? I guess some fireworks (explosions) are in order? For you graveyard (marriage)?」
「「「I mean… yeah, but still. And don’t act like you’re congratulating us while actually cursing us! Also, you have no right to be jealous!」」」
I do have the right to be jealous and envious and to curse you, okay?
「You guys say that, but listen, do you have any idea how faint the hope is for a Highschool Boy with no girlfriend, two mistresses, and five subjugated high school girls in his care, to ever get a girlfriend?! If you don’t have a girlfriend, you can’t get married? You can’t just do it alone, you know? Actually, if you could get married alone, it would be so soul crushingly lonely this whole world would burst into tears? I mean, my Affection Rating-san has traveled to some distant boundary beyond the edge of the universe, and now it’s like we’ve completely lost contact, no signal, location unknown. Seriously.」
「Ahh, yeah, that’s true… No, I mean, even if normal romance is impossible for you, somehow I feel like you’d just keep picking up beautiful women one after another!」
「Why the hell would beautiful women be lying around to pick up?! I’ve never seen that!」
「Not only that, but they follow you around and get all attached… You just keep grabbing pretty girls like they are stray kittens or puppies?!」
「「「…Then, what about the girls? What are you gonna do?」」」
Unlike the girls, we don’t have long chats every night, but guys have their own guys only gatherings too. Sure, most of the talk is just typical pervy Highschool Boy stuff, but when it comes to the important stuff, we’re on the same page. That’s not gonna change.
「Huh? I’m obviously sending them back home? Why the hell should I let them stay in a world like this with no family, no friends, and nothing but constant killing? Even the Geeks are lurking around the Beastmen Country trying to find ruins or something that might be a way home, you guys should be searching too! Go dig holes like Idiots, maybe find some underground civilization ruins or a gold hoard or something? And then might as well get buried there too?」
「You say search but… what, dungeons won’t work?」
「There wasn’t even anything remotely like that in there. If we can’t send them home directly, it would be great if we could at least invade that white room then~? So the Theocracy, huh?」
With zero leads, we’d been going around, thinking maybe the deepest part of some dungeon or a ruin would have something, but nothing came up. Neither in the forests nor a dungeon could we find even a clue. If we were talking pure possibilities, the Theocracy seemed like the best bet, but even that looks bleak. Sister Girl, who’s both the princess of the Theocracy and the head of one of its religious sects, didn’t know a thing. No legends, no prophecies, nothing.
「Maybe we should just build a truck and try running you guys over? As an experiment? The Truck Reincarnation Strategy? You know, just to test things out? It’s the classic one after all?」
「Don’t run us over just for a test! That’s not a transfer, it’s reincarnation! We’d die! Like be dead! Dead dead! And besides, you won’t have any idea if it worked or not!」
Smarter than I expected. The Truck Reincarnation Strategy has a critical flaw – there’s no solid data on vehicle type, load capacity, tonnage, or what speed you need to hit to trigger reincarnation. Get it wrong and we might end up in Back to the Future. Like, what if running them over now would let me run them over again in the past too? A two-for-one Delorean-style reincarnation bonus, huh… Damn, I actually want to build one now!