Afterword |
As you all can see, on November 12, 2025, at 17:17, Infinite Weird Game has officially come to an end. As I type these words, I'm overcome with a wistful sense of loss, as if an entire lifetime has passed.
Looking back on the creative journey of this book, it’s safe to say it has been a very bumpy ride. In September 2022, the original version, *I Have Infinite Respawns in the Weird Game* (also known as *I Will Dominate the Weird*), was published on Qidian, and was then taken down. Despite months of revisions, the ban was not lifted. So, on March 10, 2023, I moved to another platform. There, it gained the affection of many readers, but I also faced a series of unfair treatments (including, but not limited to, the book being removed without notice and the platform condoning other authors on the site for excessive plagiarism). After numerous unsuccessful appeals, on June 30, 2023, I returned to Qidian.
This time, I was met with wonderful editors, a great operations manager, and amazing readers. As a not-so-great author, I frequently went on hiatus and made revisions; this story of under two million characters took me a full two and a half years to write. And yet, it still achieved the gratifying success of over a hundred thousand favorites and a spot in the premium channel, all thanks to your support. My health is not the best, and my abilities are limited, so many plotlines could not be presented as perfectly as I wished. Looking back now, I still feel a deep sense of embarrassment about it. But what's past is past. I can only do my best to improve my writing skills and strive to create better works in the future.
I once read somewhere that when a writer first picks up a pen, they are often driven by a desire to express their most sincere and intense emotions. I don't know if that's true for everyone, but for me, *Infinite Weird Game* has always been different. At the time, I was holding in a great deal of frustration and indignation. I've now forgotten what exactly I was so indignant about, but I remember making a secret vow to myself: even if it achieved nothing, even if it received no recognition, I had to write this book.
I started writing it from the moment I entered university as a freshman and continued right up until my impending graduation as a senior. This book is, in a way, a reflection of my youth. In eight days, on November 20th, I will start my job at a company ahead of schedule. From now on, I will probably never have the same state of mind as I do now, nor will I be able to write another story like this. To borrow a phrase from the book: "My childhood is over."
Yes, for a long time, I was quite immature, lacking a real sense of what it meant to be an adult. As a result, many parts of *Infinite Weird Game* are handled in a very childish way. I resisted the mundane realities of daily life, the meticulous calculations of every little thing. Even when writing about conflicts between people, I preferred dramatic clashes, interactions built like castles in the sky, and idealistic developments.
I can't define whether this is good or bad, but if it's true that everyone spends a lifetime writing a single book, then *Infinite Weird Game* is likely the one I will spend my life writing, the one into which I've poured my entire soul. I may never escape the shadow of this book, unless I undergo another transformative period of growth. And I may never again find the same feelings I had while writing it, because I can't go back to the past.
What an interesting thing, that in a long life of many decades, the rest of your existence is often decided by a little more than ten years of your youth. Because of my past achievements in academics and web novel writing, I somewhat dazedly received a job offer and set my career path as a game writer and planner. A thousand different possibilities have converged into a single path. Though I try to avoid mediocrity, I'm always afraid of forgetting my original intentions and becoming someone unrecognizable.
There is a sense of loss, a sense of hesitation, and a tangle of complex emotions that I cannot put into words for others. I can only say that I am very fortunate to have finished this childish book in time, right before officially entering the workforce. I'm even more fortunate that, despite being mentally and physically exhausted by my internship and thesis, I was still able to squeeze out one last bit of youthful spirit to write the ending.
In my author's notes for the second volume, I mentioned that I wanted to explore the answer to the question of "good and evil." At the time, the ideal scenario I envisioned was to use the entire book to seek this answer, and to provide it in the final volume, "Gods and Beasts." However, I never found the answer I was looking for, and in the end, I could only destroy the world as planned. A fellow author once told me: "The idealists' bones are ground to dust, while the egoists celebrate their promotions." This is the eternal truth of the world. With my current understanding, I deeply agree with this sentiment. Perhaps in ten years, I'll feel differently.
While writing the entire ending, I was immersed in a kind of melancholy. On one hand, after Qi Si became a god, he was naturally cut off from common plot drivers like desire, motivation, and purpose. I couldn't communicate with him; he just watched coldly from the sidelines. On the other hand, I lost control over the plot. The characters and the stage were set, and everything that followed was driven by the characters' own actions. Just as it says in the book, "the ending was already written." Even as the author, I couldn't interfere.
I was merely a scribe, and because I lacked control, many regrets were inevitably left behind. For instance, the Balance Church was supposed to be a massive faction, and White Crow was meant to be a brilliant leader, but due to length constraints, their entire character arcs were cut. If I had been able to fully flesh them out, the world-building could have been expanded, and at the very least, the real world would have felt more three-dimensional and rich. As for why the pacing became such a huge problem, that traces back to Chang Xu's death... In the original plan, Chang Xu was supposed to be tricked by Qi Si into teaming up for a few more instances, which would have padded out the length and advanced the real-world plot. The Final Instance would have been set on June 6th instead of May 5th... But there's no point in talking about it anymore.
My biggest feeling now that I'm done is that the veteran authors who say you have to finish a book with both quality and quantity are absolutely right. Only by experiencing the entire creative process of a book from start to finish can you truly understand the problems you'll face and hone your skills against them.
The ending was planned a long time ago, and it might not satisfy everyone. After all, open endings are often the most thankless kind to write. But I'd still like to share a few random thoughts about it.
I wonder if you've heard the story of "Yang Zhu's Lost Sheep." Yang Zhu's neighbor lost a sheep, and everyone split up to search for it. But there were too many forking roads, and each fork led to more forks, until finally, no one could find any trace of the sheep. Yang Zhu was the famous philosopher who proposed the theory of "not plucking a single hair" (see the "Flesh Eating" instance and the question of "plucking a single hair to benefit the world"). This story, however, isn't about egoism. It simply tells us that many things in life have no certain outcome, and that we are always on the journey.
In my personal aesthetic, there is a certain romance in uncertainty. Before you open a blind box, you never know what you're going to get, just as you don't know if Schrödinger's cat is dead or alive. The unknown answer sparks curiosity and the desire to explore. It's what led humanity out of the cave—what a unique kind of beauty.
In short, my first book, *Infinite Weird Game*, has been finished in this stumbling, fumbling way. My university years have been handed over to this book, and they've ended in a somewhat chaotic fashion. From now on, I can no longer call myself a rookie, only an old failure. What sad news. For the next little while, I'll probably take a break and then do my best to prepare for a new book.
Barring any surprises, the new book will be titled *Open the Door to See God*. I've posted a series of character designs for it in the group chat before. It will still be in the "unlimited flow" genre, but less traditional, with a greater focus on deep world-building and layered history. It will probably be similar in style to the fifth and sixth volumes of *Infinite Weird Game*.
For me, this is a huge challenge. After all, authors who are used to the fragmented storytelling of the unlimited flow genre are naturally lacking when it comes to planning and structuring long-term plotlines. I hope I can deliver a satisfactory result.
I mentioned before that there would be extras, but due to stylistic issues, they probably won't be published within this book. As for whether I'll end up procrastinating on them indefinitely... we'll see how it goes. Finishing this book has drained almost all of my energy and spirit. For the past few days, I've had a sharp pain in my chest, and I even had a premonition that this might be the only book I'll ever write in my life... (Pah, pah, pah, don't want to jinx it!)
Enough rambling. Any news about the extras or the new book will be announced in the group chat. I'll see you all next year!
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