Chapter 72: I Want to Be a Hero (4) |
*
At the same time.
Right after the Imperial Prince and I finished our call.
Even after the communicator orb’s light went out, I stared at the crystal orb for a while.
'There's a mountain of things to do.'
Right after the Imperial Prince offered me the professorship.
I accepted the proposal without hesitation.
Because of fame and power?
Of course, that was part of the reason.
Professor.
What a sweet-sounding word.
In my previous life, I dreamed of becoming a professor.
It wasn't that I held some grand aspiration in my heart.
The Surgery Department is hard to set up a private practice in after leaving a University Hospital, so I simply stayed at the school.
When I came to my senses, I had even earned a Double Board and was in the Trauma Surgery Advanced Course.
After studying that much, I thought it would be a shame not to get the title of professor, so I aimed for the professorship.
'Death from overwork. Death from overwork in my thirties.'
I must have overdone it.
To think I collapsed just when it was within arm's reach.
Of course, that's a lingering regret from almost twenty years ago.
In this life, I'm not particularly attached to that official title.
However,
— "Then where am I supposed to do my training?"
— "What do you mean?"
— "To become a professor, don't I first have to train under another professor?"
— "So that's what you meant. Lord, you will be the first professor for this course, so who would you train under?"
The moment I heard the Imperial Prince's words, I accepted the professorship as if possessed.
A professor, no less!
And I get to skip graduate school and the training course, and become one immediately!
Anyone who has been to graduate school would have no choice but to sympathize with my decision.
To think I could skip all that hellish suffering and just reap the rewards.
Even knowing it's a Poisoned Chalice, many would still pick it up.
I was one of them.
Of course, there was another calculation as well.
'Even if I refuse, I'll end up on a leash later anyway.'
A classic of the Misunderstanding Genre.
No matter how much you twist and turn to escape, you end up getting leashed.
So, if I was going to be dragged along anyway, I figured it would look better and my treatment would be better if I went of my own accord.
After all, enlistment is always treated better than conscription.
However, there was just one thing that bothered me.
'Hmph... A Black Magic Defense Methods Class.'
The name really stuck out.
If possible, I would have preferred a different name, like Black Magic Countermeasures Class.
Because it feels like the kind of class where the professor in charge will be replaced due to some unfortunate incident in less than a year.
So I did mention it subtly to the Imperial Prince.
But it seemed he had no intention of changing it.
'What can I do? I'll just have to prepare thoroughly.'
Of course, the Imperial Prince did promise he would mobilize his full capability to protect me and those around me.
Still, you can never be too prepared.
'First... should I meet and talk with my Teacher tomorrow?'
As it happened, tomorrow was the day I was to meet my Teacher.
It seemed necessary to talk about various things related to all this.
Because the wisdom of my Teacher, who has hidden a secret for a thousand years, seemed like it would be helpful in many ways.
I opened the notebook on my desk.
I picked up a fountain pen and started organizing the points to discuss with my Teacher tomorrow.
I was in the middle of organizing those points for discussion.
Knock, knock.
My hand stopped at the sound of a knock on the door.
I put down the fountain pen and looked toward the door.
"Who is it? Is that you, Erika?"
She's the most likely person to visit at this hour.
She sometimes comes by asking me to make her a late-night snack.
"..."
But the silence from beyond the door told me it wasn't Erika.
Presently, a faint voice came from the other side.
"...Older Brother. I can't sleep. Could we perhaps talk for a bit?"
I opened the door.
Under the faint lamp in the hallway, Freya stood there.
She was in her pajamas, barefoot, wearing only a single pair of slippers.
Her hair was disheveled, as if she'd tossed and turned in bed for a long time before she couldn't take it anymore.
"Th-Thank you."
She said, quickly scanning the area behind me.
Her fingers were gripping the hem of her pajamas so tightly they had turned white.
The moment I saw her, a sigh rose to my throat.
'It's an Acute Stress Reaction.'
She hadn't said anything, but I had already noticed it in her daily life.
Since arriving home yesterday.
She was always tense, as if she were still back there.
She had some symptoms of depression, and she would flinch at the slightest sound.
And now, a sleep disorder as well.
It was a typical 'Acute Stress Reaction'.
You could consider it a state similar to PTSD.
It's also the only psychiatric state that I, someone who doesn't know much about psychiatry, can diagnose as well as any Psychiatry Professor.
Because PTSD is a classic symptom of Trauma Surgery patients and their guardians.
I had to request joint diagnoses for it so many times.
However, Freya doesn't have PTSD right now; she's in the stage before that.
The stage where she can get better with a little rest.
If this goes on longer, the Acute Stress Reaction becomes a stress disorder, and if it continues for more than a month, it then becomes PTSD.
Naturally, I had no intention of letting my younger sister end up like that.
"You can't sleep?"
"No..."
"Come in."
I've seen many patients like this.
I was also familiar with the methods to help them avoid worsening into PTSD.
Should I call it fortunate?
Patients in this state could recover quickly with just a little psychological first aid.
'Thankfully, Freya came to me first.'
In that case, I have no choice but to help her so her condition doesn't worsen.
First, their bodies are still lingering in that place.
Therefore, I lowered my voice and made my movements as slow as possible.
Loud noises, fast movements, unexpected contact.
These kinds of sudden stimuli trigger hyperarousal in these patients.
The most important thing here is to give their brains time to accept this place as safe.
Freya crossed the threshold.
Warily, she stepped into my room and sat in a chair without leaning back.
This was also a typical symptom.
I had her sit in the chair near the door.
"The room is a bit warm."
I don't close the door.
Because this small consideration gives them a sense of relief, that they can escape at any time.
"Would you like some tea?"
"...Please."
I'll say it again: sudden stimuli are a taboo.
You even have to ask the patient for permission for every common sense action.
This is to allow her to adapt to this space.
'As for the tea...'
Chamomile tea with linden honey would be good.
It's very helpful for calming an overactive sympathetic nervous system.
It's not a miracle cure, but it was much better than nothing.
I got up and brewed the flower tea in two teacups.
"It's hot, so take it slow."
I placed the teacup in Freya's hands.
She held the teacup with trembling hands.
I quietly waited for her to speak.
I didn't even ask, 'What's wrong?'
Because even a question like that is dangerous for a patient.
It's an act that can unintentionally push the patient back into the past.
You just have to wait for them to bring up the past voluntarily.
I waited until Freya's breathing deepened.
At last, she opened her mouth.
"...When I close my eyes, I go back there."
"..."
"My friends... I see images of my friends who trusted and followed me being hurt by those people."
It's a typical flashback, a past recollection.
It's a natural reaction.
Typical protagonists can easily shake off such a big ordeal.
I was able to shake it off well right after the clinic was attacked.
But that's not normal.
Rather, Freya's reaction was perfectly normal.
A kidnapping incident experienced at the age of seventeen.
There aren't many girls who can remain composed after such a major incident.
Especially not a girl like Erika, who has lived a rough life since she was young.
In times like these, three factors were important.
These simple initial measures alone can determine the course of a person's entire lifetime.
"...Older Brother."
"Yes."
"Did I make everyone worry? I'm afraid I worried you, Older Brother, and our parents by needlessly going out to find my friends."
"It just means they love you that much. We're fine. So if it's too hard, you can confide in our parents. If that's a burden, talk to me."
One, letting her know that there are people around her who love and trust her.
Just diversifying the options at this time allows the patient to feel they have a sense of control and feel at ease.
"But I'm scared those people will show up again..."
"As I said, they will never be able to threaten you again. Father said so too. And I'll guarantee it."
Second, to constantly remind her that this place is safe.
"Still, Kal was hurt. Because I insisted we leave the prison... If we had just stayed put, you and Unnie would have come to rescue us anyway."
"Freya."
And third, the most important of all.
"If you hadn't made a move that day, we would have had to search that entire hideout to find you. And if you hadn't put up any resistance, your friends would have been in more danger."
"..."
"It's not your fault. In fact, you saved your friends."
To emphasize over and over that it's not their fault.
This part is the most important.
Because in PTSD, the factor that destroys a person the most is guilt.
Therefore, I said to Freya.
"You know, Freya? I once dreamed of becoming a Hero."
"..."
Although I walked the path of a doctor, I sometimes admired Emergency Medical Technicians or firefighters.
For one reason.
"A doctor, no, a Healer, is a profession that can only do something after a person has been hurt. When a doctor acts, the result has already been decided. All I can do is prevent the worst from happening."
Freya listened with bated breath.
"But the world needs people who act before someone gets hurt, before the situation becomes the worst it can be."
That's why I admired Emergency Medical Technicians and firefighters.
Because they are the ones who rescue people before they get hurt, or before things become irreversibly severe.
In fact, when it comes to saving lives, I believed their contribution was greater than mine.
Of course.
Since it's a profession I haven't experienced, I might be saying it too casually.
However, what I want to say is that a doctor isn't the only one who contributes to saving a life.
"If you hadn't been there, I might have been too late even if I had arrived. You, and the other students. It's thanks to each of you looking out for one another that we got this best possible outcome. I pretty much just added a spoon to your great performance."
"..."
"Freya. I am truly proud of you. Your courage saved your friends."
I clearly remember the sight of Freya confronting those two villains when I arrived.
Although she didn't bring out her Arcane Magic.
She was clearly protecting the students on the spot.
That's why I believe the MVP of this incident wasn't me, but Freya.
"You did really well, Freya."
I looked at Freya in silence for a while.
Freya's shoulders trembled.
At first, slightly. Then, greatly.
And finally, her body trembled so violently that she could no longer hold the teacup she was cradling with both hands.
I quickly took the teacup and placed it on the table.
"...Sob."
Freya covered her face with her hands.
I waited silently until her shoulders stopped trembling.
*
Freya returned to her room long after the night had deepened.
"Thank you, Older Brother."
Before leaving, Freya turned back and said.
Yulian waved his hand, seeing her off.
Leaving Yulian's farewell behind, Freya walked down the hallway.
Freya stopped in front of her room.
A faint light was leaking from under the door.
A light that hadn't gone to sleep.
When she opened the door, a familiar sight greeted Freya.
"Oh, Young Lady."
Erika was sitting on some bedding she had laid out next to Freya's bed.
Erika had brought a blanket from the annex and was occupying half of Freya's bed.
Erika had brought the bedding from the annex for Freya, who hadn't been able to sleep yesterday after the ordeal.
"Come on in, Young Lady."
Erika lifted the blanket, acting like a cheeky mister.
It was Erika's own mischievous form of consideration.
Freya chuckled and sat facing Erika on the same bed.
Erika said.
"How was it? It was a good idea to have a consultation with Teacher, right?"
Freya nodded.
Then she hugged the blanket and said nothing for a while.
Erika didn't rush her either.
The blanket Erika brought was covering both their shoulders.
In that warmth, Freya opened her mouth.
"...Unnie."
"Yeah."
"I... I have a new dream, other than becoming a Judicial Officer."
Erika's eyebrows raised slightly.
"Suddenly?"
Freya silently looked down at her hands on her lap.
Yulian's words replayed in her mind.
— A doctor is a profession that can only do something after a person has been hurt.
— But the world needs people who act before someone gets hurt, before the situation becomes the worst it can be.
"A Judicial Officer... is someone who acts after an incident has already occurred."
Freya said.
"They're dispatched only after there's a victim, and they have to remain unaware of such crimes until they become long-term unsolved cases. By then, it's closer to bringing retribution to the culprit than protecting someone."
Of course, that didn't mean it was a bad thing.
It's just that its direction was different from what Freya wanted.
"I... want to get ahead of that."
"How?"
"I want to act first, before an irreversible result occurs. Someone who acts first, and protects people on the spot."
Erika's smile deepened.
"Then, what profession do you want to have?"
Freya looked at Erika with straightforward eyes.
"I want to become a Hero like you, Unnie."
Hero.
Righteous people who not only fight the Demonic Beasts outside the Wall, but also rescue people from evil Demonkin and stop the schemes of black sorcerers.
"My reason is different from yours, Unnie... but still. I want to become a Hero, too. If not, then at least a knight..."
Erika's eyes widened.
One beat.
And the corners of Erika's mouth slowly rose.
Erika kicked off the blanket and sat up.
"What are you talking about? You've more than proven your qualification to be a Hero this time."
"Huh?"
"You were the first one to step up and find the traces no other adult noticed, and you saved your friends. Even before Teacher and I arrived. If someone like you isn't qualified to be a Hero, then who is?"
Erika carefully enveloped Freya's hands.
"I think it'd be nice to have a reliable younger sister watching my back, don't you?"
This time, it was Freya's turn for her eyes to widen.
"Unnie?"
"To do that, you have to manage your health first, like me."
Erika picked up the blanket she'd kicked off and covered Freya with it.
"First, let's sleep. And starting tomorrow, you have to wake up early with me and train together. You have to eat well, too."
"Unnie..."
"Hurry up and sleep, Young Lady."
Erika gently pushed Freya down onto the bed.
Freya didn't resist the force and lay down.
Erika also lay down right next to her.
Freya closed her eyes for a moment, then spoke to Erika again.
"...Unnie."
"Yeah."
"Unnie, how can you be so confident?"
"I'm a genius acknowledged by Teacher. So there's no need to doubt myself."
"Unnie."
"Mmhmm."
"Unnie, what did you do when you first experienced something like what I went through?"
"Mmhmm... I think... I just ate and went to sleep..."
"Unnie."
"...Zzz..."
"..."
Freya listened to Erika's faint breath sounds and closed her mouth again.
How could this Unnie, who came because she was worried about her little sister, fall asleep first?
But just feeling this warmth beside her gave her a sense of relief that was hard to explain.
Leaning into that warmth, Freya slowly relaxed her tension.
Soon, the room was filled only with the faint breath sounds of two girls.
That night, Freya fell into a deep sleep.
It was a peaceful night without nightmares.
