Chapter 313 |
What She Wished For (6)
A newborn star wished for its own death.
After dismantling herself, she even tore apart the framework called a star that had bound her power, and that star could no longer serve its function.
Just as the sky of Sealed City had once abandoned its role, Yuel’s body abandoned its role as a Transcendent. Power without a frame began to run wild.
Dark crimson starlight sprayed in every direction.
Newborn or not, what Yuel possessed was a Baleful Star. It was fundamentally the same as the Witch of the Abyss’s star, something special that moved on a completely different track from other stars. The moment it went out of control, even the Constellation of Omniscience could only panic.
A baleful star was, by nature, incomprehensible.
A star that could not be analyzed, could not be predicted, could not even be touched, so all one could do was fear it or worship it.
“Ahhh, aaaaaah!”
At the very last moment, Yuel raised her middle finger at Hermann.
“Eat shit, you fucking bitch.”
With those final words, the Baleful Star exploded in grand fashion. A torrent of light slammed into Hermann. The grave where the failed were buried, those who had faced what Yuel faced but failed unlike her, and even the buried cities there, were swept up in the torrent.
Everything returned to nothingness.
The city’s ruins came apart. Everything touched by that torrent of light was dismantled. Hermann tried to flee at once, but she had been too close to the center of the explosion and could not escape in time. By the time she threw herself through the dimensional gate she hurriedly tore open, half her body had already crumbled.
Hermann screamed.
In that moment, all the knowledge and experience the Star of Omniscience had built over a lifetime were useless. Human madness gnawed away at the Omniscient One’s soul and flesh.
“■■, ah■ aah, ■■aaaaah!”
Hermann succeeded in obtaining the Baleful Star she had wanted so badly. Only, it came in the form of that star eating away at her own body. As the torrent born from the Baleful Star’s explosion devoured her, she hid herself beyond the dimensional gate.
Even after Hermann disappeared, the torrent did not stop.
The stream of light stretched far into the distance.
By the time the Baleful Star’s explosion settled, all that remained was a world bleached pure white.
2.
In that world, where everything had turned into white ash, Yuel lay in the center. She blinked slowly. Her body felt heavy. Her head felt dull.
Tick, tididik.
Dark crimson sparks spat over her body. Watching her own flesh, Yuel let out a hollow laugh. This damned star seemed unwilling to let her die.
The dark crimson starlight forcibly stitched together her burst heart, severed limbs, and crumbling body. It seemed desperate to piece her lost form back together somehow. Of course, no matter how much one stitched together something already broken, it would never fit right again.
Yuel did not know what kind of being she would become if this continued, but some Transcendent watching this place did know. Yuel felt that gaze too.
“......”
Lying on the white ground, Yuel looked up at the sky. A certain star was shining there. Its constellation form and even its star form were blurry, but it was definitely there.
Yuel asked:
“Are you the Star of Ignorance?”
The star answered:
“Ultimately, I hope to become that.”
After replying, the star descended to Yuel’s side. It watched Yuel, who was dying and trying to revive at the same time. Yuel looked back and spoke.
“Then who are you?”
“I have no name. I abandoned every element that made me, just as you did. But others called me this.”
“The Star of Forgetting.”
“Forgetting......”
Yuel rolled the word around in her mouth.
“Were you the one who helped me?”
“Well. You already accomplished your feat with your own hands. All I did was give your back a small push. Even if it had not been me, you would have done it.”
“Then what about now?”
“Now, you seem to need my help.”
The star touched Yuel’s heart.
“If left like this, you will revive. A Baleful Star never allows its owner to die. Soon you will become a being that can neither die nor live. There is already an example of that at the end of the world.”
“I... hate that.”
“But there is a way.”
“If there is a way.”
“It is simple. Just as you dismantled yourself, separate yourself from the Baleful Star. Then bury the Baleful Star here with your memories.”
“What happens then?”
Yuel asked, and the star answered:
“A Transcendent dies, and a human is born.”
“......”
“I am interested in you. You wished to be forgotten. You wished for every story you had built to be erased. I cannot turn away from that wish. In a sense, only children like you are my kin.”
Its face was too blurred to see. Still, Yuel could tell it was smiling kindly.
“Let us make a bet.”
“A bet?”
“I will help you. I will help you forget your memories and become human, and help you bury the Baleful Star in this land. In return, you must prove one thing to me.”
“Prove what?”
“Whether you can be happy after losing all your memories.”
She said:
“Whether you can live joyfully, without longing for your lost past, without regret, looking only toward the future.”
“......”
“In truth, it is fine even if you fail to prove it. Until the day you can prove it, I will erase your memories again and again. If you regret it, you will be able to recall my face.”
The Star of Forgetting smiled.
“If life is painful, if life fills you with regret, and you wish for forgetting, think of me whenever you want. Then I will appear there, whenever you want.”
Yuel had no other choice.
In the end, she made a contract with the Star of Forgetting. Tap, and a slender finger touched Yuel’s forehead.
“Please be happy.”
Leaving those words behind, the Star of Forgetting vanished. Yuel felt her memories start crumbling from the smallest fragments. At the same time, fear rose in her.
Ah. No, this was bad.
There were still words she had to say. There were words she had to deliver before her memories vanished. But she could not move her body. Her lips trembled. Soon, with a bitter smile, she let her hand fall limply.
...Well, not everything could go according to plan.
Getting this far was already a miracle. Asking for another miracle on top of one already granted would be shameless. She carried a little regret, but even that regret would disappear with her memories.
Just as Yuel was about to close her eyes.
Tap.
Footsteps came from somewhere. The footsteps drew closer, then stopped right beside Yuel.
Thud.
Someone dropped down to sit next to her. She barely turned her unmoving head and looked at the person beside her. Before she could even confirm the face, the warmth from that person’s hand gave her certainty.
“...Ah.”
It was him. Najin.
“You kept your promise?”
“You said you’d kill me if I didn’t.”
Yuel burst out laughing.
3.
Najin slowly raised Yuel’s body. Since she could not move, he let her sit leaning against him. Resting her head on Najin’s shoulder, Yuel smiled.
“I... did my best.”
“I know.”
“I really did my best. I told that crazy bitch who threw my life into the abyss to eat shit, and I didn’t become a monster. Wow, seriously, how did I do that? Even I think it was amazing. Fuck, Yuel, you crazy bastard.”
“Want me to praise you?”
“Good. At least pat my head.”
Rub, rub. Warmth spread over her head, and Yuel’s lips trembled. Yes, what else should she say? It hurt. She had only now managed to face him with a clear mind, and she hated that she had so little time left.
“Najin.”
“I’m listening.”
“To be honest, I worried. In the city, my emotions got dragged to one side, and I wondered if they were being guided by some damned Transcendent’s will, not my own. If that was true, then everything I felt would be fake.”
“Did you?”
“Yes. But... well......”
Yuel leaned a little more of her weight onto Najin.
“I guess that wasn’t it after all.”
“If it wasn’t?”
“Fuck, do I have to say it out loud for you to get it? You really going to keep doing this?”
Yuel laughed under her breath.
“I like you. I like you so much I can’t do anything about it. I do not mean as a friend. I mean as a man and a woman, as a partner to share a life with.”
She was embarrassed. Her heart pounded. But these were memories she would lose anyway. So why hold back?
“Yes, I love you, you bastard.”
“If you like me, why are you cursing me?”
“Because I’m embarrassed. Because I’m embarrassed.”
Hoo, Yuel let out a breath.
“Do not answer. Hearing it now would be meaningless. I’m going to lose all my memories anyway, so hearing it now would only leave regret, wouldn’t it?”
Her memories blurred. Bit by bit, starting from the very beginning, they were crumbling away.
“What happens to me when I lose my memories? I don’t know. Honestly, these memories feel too precious to bury together with this star thing called the Baleful Star.”
If she could throw away the horrible memories of Sealed City, she would once have welcomed it with both hands. But what flashed through her head now were memories with Najin. Even in that horrible life in Sealed City, there had been happy parts.
That was what Yuel could not let go of.
Because she could not let go.
She decided to ease that regret one last time. Squeezing out her remaining strength, she moved her body, wrapped her arms around Najin’s neck, and lifted her face.
“......”
A brief silence. Their breaths mixed. Their foreheads and the bridges of their noses touched.
Press.
Yuel pulled her lips away, touched them with her fingers, and smiled.
“I’m going to forget anyway, so this much is fine, right?”
He could have avoided it, but he did not.
Yuel smiled in satisfaction.
Leaning against Najin, she closed her eyes. The Baleful Star was torn from her body, and overwhelming weakness covered her. Sleep rushed in.
“I’m going to forget everything. I won’t remember anything. I’m sure of it. The words I shared with you just now, the time I spent with you, I’ll forget all of it......”
Yuel spoke in a trembling voice.
“So.”
Holding Najin’s hand, she murmured:
“Please remember.”
That there was a human named Yuel.
That there was a human who did not kneel on the stage made by a Transcendent and still made that Transcendent eat shit.
That there was a City Lord who drank with you, chatted with you, and lived while leaning on you.
That there was a human called me, who confessed to you, kissed you, and whispered love to you.
“If you remember me.”
Yuel smiled.
“Then I don’t think I’ll regret it.”
“...I will remember.”
“That’s a promise. Well, I’ll forget this promise too.”
Everything became blurry. Inside memories bleaching pure white, Yuel closed her eyes. In the final instant before closing them, she smiled at Najin. At the final moment of her life, she was able to smile.
It was the final curtain.
With the finale of the story, the curtain fell.
With the supporting cast’s exit, the Star’s Tomb reached its end.
“......”
It should have ended, but.
“This is......”
Even if the supporting cast left the stage, the lead remained, and as long as the protagonist remained, the story continued.
“Where...?”
On white ground, Yuel, who had lost her memories, opened her eyes.
* * *
Najin and the Carnival King’s intervention altered the story.
But the broad frame did not change.
Even in the original history, Yuel survived to the very end and faced Hermann. In front of Hermann, she dismantled herself, exploded the Baleful Star and wounded Hermann, then made a contract with the Star of Forgetting and erased her memories.
Even without someone’s intervention, she accomplished that feat.
Then what changed because of Najin’s intervention?
As stated, the broad frame did not change. From the perspective of the whole story, not much changed. But if the focus shifted to one human named Yuel, much changed.
「None of it has any meaning at all.」
In the original history, Yuel had no one who could support her. She had to hold herself up alone. As she was worn down by the waves, she lost herself.
An existence as a tool to uphold the law.
After being worn down and worn down, even her emotions were shaved away, and she became a machine. A being that processed work by the law mechanically. She had thrown away her own emotions, so there was no self left to call her own.
「Erase my memories? Yes, good.」
That was why.
「Exactly what I wanted. Erase them. I have no need for them. All of them, all of them, erase everything.」
By the time every memory that formed the personality called “City Lord” was erased from her, nothing remained. Yuel became an empty shell.
Unable to feel emotions.
Unable to understand humans.
A being that moved by its own rules like a machine.
Only one thing remained in her: an instinctive urge toward murder, born from her past of killing humans to ascend and the contamination of the Baleful Star. Even so, she could not become a proper killer either. The habit of binding herself with law never vanished in the end.
As a result, a bizarre being was born, a killer who obeyed the law.
That was the original history.
Then what about now, after it changed?
“......”
Yuel, who opened her eyes on white ground, pressed her palm against her chest. Affection, warmth, and a vague expectation for the future, though she could not name it.
Holding that expectation, she walked.
Why?
She did not know. But she felt like she might come to know.
“I have to meet them.”
She did not know who. She did not know why she had to meet them.
She could not know. She could not remember.
Still, she was certain. The moment she met that person, that person would recognize her. Even if she could not recognize them, that person at least would recognize her and take her hand.
So Yuel smiled.
She was no longer an empty shell.
Even if the self called “City Lord” was erased from her, something remained there.
No matter how long it took.
Yuel walked.
After the Star’s Tomb ended, until the moment it reached the present again, she kept walking.
To meet someone.