Chapter 157: Now is the Time to Express These Feelings |
“Haruka… aah… Ahh…! Ahhhhhhh!”
I found myself clinging to the bed, tears streaming down.
She’s come back.
From a fate too cruel and destructive, to a calm everyday life.
To know that the person I cherish has regained her consciousness, and is calling my name – that alone fills my heart, and my tears refuse to stop.
“Too much… too much crying… Shinichirou-kun…”
Gently, as if soothing a child, Haruka strokes my head, smiling warmly.
Just this simple act feels so precious. The heavy emotions that had built up inside me are now illuminated by a blinding light.
“Haruka… Ojou-sama…?”
Surely, she must have followed me, the beautiful housekeeper stands there, her eyes wide in astonishment and her body frozen.
“Fuyumi-san…”
“Ah, y-yes! O-Ojou-sama! You, you understand me…! A-ahhhhh…!!”
Seeing Haruka’s recovery with her own eyes, Fuyumi-san breaks down just like I did.
And of course she does. She must have witnessed the despair even more deeply, as she cared for the broken Haruka all this time.
“Ah…! W-We can’t stay like this! I must inform Master and Mistress of Ojou-sama’s recovery as soon as possible! And also, the doctor! Shinichirou-sama, please take care of Ojou-sama for a while!”
After wiping away her tears, Fuyumi-san rushes away, determined to fulfill her duty as a housekeeper.
Ah, that’s right. After informing Akiko-san and Tokimune-san of Haruka’s recovery, this incident that started with Haruka’s collapse will finally come to an end.
Truly… Truly, it’s a relief…
“Haruka, are you feeling okay? This might startle you, but you’ve been like this for over ten days…”
“Yes, I understand. I… I had lost myself for a long time.”
“Eh…?”
Speaking with her head down, Haruka surprises me more than a little.
Could it be that she understands what had happened to her, even though she hadn’t spoken for ten days…?
“Shinichirou-kun, I… I had a long dream.”
“A dream…?”
For some reason, Haruka begins to talk with a serious expression.
Her voice, which hadn’t been used for some time, sounds a bit hoarse, but it’s still far more fluent than one would expect after not speaking properly for ten days.
“I was dreaming for a very long time, of a grown-up version of myself who was in great pain, and of an adult Shinichirou-kun who came to rescue me. Even when the adult me was being obstinate and treating him coldly, he never gave up.”
“That means…”
Remembering, I feel a cold sweat.
What comes to mind is that strange dream I had in the classroom during my time leap. The Haruka who appeared then acted in a way that couldn’t have been a product of my subconscious, so I had a vague feeling that ‘that possibility’ was high.
But if that’s the case… does this mean that Haruka remembers what happened to me, and why I was led to supernatural events…?
“In that dream, the grown-up Shinichirou-kun… was you.”
“…Yeah.”
I nod firmly. I’d have preferred if Haruka didn’t remember everything, but since she recalls it all, there’s no helping it.
“In the dream, the adult Shinichirou-kun… did his best to help me. Even though I was being stubborn and distant.”
“Wait!”
As soon as I answer, Haruka’s gaze pierces into me.
“Why… Why did you do something so reckless!?”
Haruka asks, not so much seeking an answer, but almost blaming me.
I find it painful to see her, tears streaming down her face, but as someone who acted recklessly, I have no choice but to accept her words.
After all, ultimately, it was the enigmatic existence known as fate that led to my life’s second time leap, but that’s what I wanted.
And of course, there was no guarantee I’d be able to come back.
“Even if I’d been broken… you should have just left me alone!”
“What…!?”
“Shinichirou-kun! You’re… kind, reliable, and truly wonderful!”
Haruka raised her voice, unable to contain her turbulent emotions.
“If such an amazing person… if their future with me was crushed because of me, even if I regain my sanity, it wouldn’t be any comfort, would it? Do you think I can go on with my life, smiling, after you’re gone, Shinichirou-kun!?”
Her anguished cry condemning my ego pierced deep into my chest.
If the roles were reversed… if Haruka were the one sacrificing herself for me, I would probably say the same.
“Why… why would you go that far? How did you become so strong and kind?”
In her agitation, Haruka’s eyes brimmed with tears. Seeing her like this was truly painful.
But…
“I’m really sorry for making you feel this way… But I’ll do the same thing over and over again. Because I’ve decided to.”
“Decided…?”
Haruka repeated my words in confusion, but it wasn’t really such a big deal.
It was just a guideline I’d set for myself in this current life.
“Yeah, both you and everyone at school… say that I’ve changed so much, like a completely different person from before. But my essence is still dark and timid. Even when I was about to go to that ‘faraway place’, I was on the verge of tears with the fear that I might never come back.”
Looking back, my previous life was a life of avoidance, of not confronting the pain and fear in my heart.
Not facing it because it was scary.
Not continuing because it was hard.
Not doing it because it was bothersome.
Not starting because it was impossible anyway.
That was how I diminished myself day by day.
“So, I’m not stronger now than before. The only difference is whether there’s something I’ve decided I truly want. ‘Not running away from what’s necessary for what I really want.’ That’s all.”
That was what I, who had been a passive salaryman, had held in my heart and run with throughout this second life, breaking free from that.
“So, for what I truly want… for the most important girl to me, I did what I could. For my real feelings.”
“Shinichirou’s… real feelings?”
Haruka’s face tinged slightly at my heartfelt words.
Long ago, I fell in love with this girl, and by some miracle, we met again.
As the radiant days passed, my feelings swelled, but… I hesitated to put them into words.
I had made a genuine decision to tell her someday, but the fear of rejection was immense, as my feelings grew stronger.
But I won’t run away anymore.
I’ll convey this feeling now… it’s time.
“I… love you, Haruka. I’ve loved you for so, so long.”
Words I’d wanted to say for so long.
Feelings I’d kept hidden in my heart since long ago.
I finally… finally said them.
It felt deeply moving, and as expected, from head to toe, I felt a burning heat surge, and I sweated to the point where my clothes felt heavy.
“Uh, um… I’m sorry. I actually planned to tell you this after you’d calmed down from your illness…”
In response to my confession, Haruka stared wide-eyed, seemingly lost in thought.
I watched her, my face covered in cold sweat, unsure in which direction the shock she received was heading.
“Eh!? W-Wait, Haruka!?”
I found myself exclaiming in astonishment.
Because, Haruka, her face frozen in surprise, had begun to shed large tears, flowing freely down her cheeks.
“Ugh… ahh… I… didn’t…”
With tears streaming down her cheeks, the girl spoke as if desperately trying to sort out her emotions.
I could only wait, watching in silence.
“I… I didn’t understand… love… I didn’t know what it meant to like someone…”
Shedding more tears, Haruka continued, seemingly baring her heart.
“People say I’m childish… but it’s not like I didn’t long for love. It’s just that, like the stars in the night sky, I knew they were beautiful, but they seemed far away, beyond my reach…”
In the room illuminated by the sinking sun, Haruka continued.
“But now… it feels like the feelings I didn’t understand until now are getting names and colors. Whenever I’m with you, I feel so safe. When we talk together, my heart leaps with joy. When I think about you, my heart always feels light and… happy.”
“Eh…”
“At that moment, as well as the joy that seems to overflow from my heart right now… I finally understand their true meaning. My feelings for you just won’t stop…!”
Haruka continued to express herself with a rising sense of elation, and I listened as if in a dream.
Is this… really reality?
Not just a convenient daydream of mine?
“I… will say it too. Please let me say it…”
With tears streaking down her cheeks, Haruka looked directly at me.
“Shinichiro-kun… I love you. Truly, truly… I love you.”
How do I respond to that?
I can’t put it into words. I can’t think of anything.
Everything within me… it all felt like an endlessly clear blue sky.
Everything about my existence… it all felt like it was being saved completely.
“Please… let me be… your girlfriend!”
Before I knew it, I found myself leaning forward and embracing Haruka on the bed.
I was overwhelmed with love for her, and I didn’t know what to do.
“You… hehe…”
Though her face was flushed, Haruka quietly smiled as she gazed at me, who was right in front of her.
Ah, I can tell even without looking. I must be making a completely ridiculous face, soaked in tears and emotion.
“I’ll always… hehe…”
Touching each other all over, Haruka’s fingers, delicate as a whitefish, gently caressed my head.
“I’m clumsy… but please take care of me.”
And so, Haruka smiled like the sun.
Her beautifully pure heart bloomed, and I was so moved that I couldn’t find any words.
What I won in the end of my youthful revenge.
The most precious thing in this world… was right there in my arms.
TLN: LETS EFFING GOOO~ Ngl, I thought the author would blue ball us until next chapter. BUT THEY DIDN’T! ITS OFFICIAL BOIS!
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