Chapter 149: Catching a Glimpse of the Youth that Eluded Me |
I, Haruka Shijouin, of my third year as a working adult, returned to the apartment that I call home.
…
In my family home, saying ‘I’m back’ every day had become a habit. But now, living alone as a working adult, it seemed meaningless.
Instead, as always, only the dark room welcomed me.
I flicked the light switch and the room that was extravagantly spacious for just one person lit up.
When I moved into this apartment to live on my own, my father insisted on giving it to me as a present, saying it was a property with top-notch security. But…
“I really don’t like this sort of thing, Father.”
I muttered something that was definitely not praise to my father, whom I had distanced myself from a bit after graduating from university.
Taking off my suit jacket and skirt, I collapsed onto the bed with just my shirt on.
I glanced at my smartphone and saw a message from my father.
The content was the same as always, worrying about my health and how I was getting along.
…
And, just like always, I replied with safe and unremarkable answers.
‘I’m fine,’ ‘I’m doing well,’ ‘I’m getting used to the workplace’…
“Yes, that’s right… I’m fine. Father, there’s really nothing to worry about…”
I whispered to myself, alone in the room, as if reminding myself.
—Yes, that’s right. I’m just an ordinary working adult, doing an ordinary job.
—Even if it feels tough, it’s normal.
—There’s nothing strange about it. Because that’s what’s normal.
As I recited this in my mind—
Suddenly, I recalled the words I had spoken earlier at the izakaya.
‘What should I do!? Or am I just being naive!? Why am I always like this…!’
…Why did I say something so childish? I felt terribly embarrassed for letting out such a complaint to Niihama-kun, whom I had just met after a long time.
(…It’s probably because of the alcohol. It’s the first time I’ve relaxed and had a drink with someone other than my family.)
And also, Niihama-kun was a good talker.
He understood my subtleties as if we had been friends for a long time, and I could talk to him without feeling self-conscious—
(Niihama-kun… He’s become really impressive, hasn’t he?)
He had said his workplace was the worst, but Niihama-kun himself had changed so much that he was unrecognizable.
Unlike his somewhat reserved high school days, he had become strong and articulate. And there was a kindness in him, caring for others.
(He took me, who he had just reunited with, so seriously…)
After entering university, I realized that I inevitably attracted men, being blessed with an appearance that strongly appealed to the opposite sex.
However, it only led to countless troubles and in the midst of it all, I developed a certain wariness towards men and a discerning eye for their motives.
(But, Niihama-kun didn’t seem to have any ulterior motives…)
Even though I always turned down invitations from men for the slightest reasons, at that moment, I couldn’t suppress my interest in him.
He didn’t seem to be drawn to my appearance, and he focused solely on my inner self—
“…I’m sorry…”
Saying that to him, who had almost begged me, I coldly rejected his proposal to quit my job.
I felt sorry for him, and I didn’t think his suggestion was wrong.
His words about witnessing many severe cases at his black company carried a weight that wasn’t just a passing thought.
But…
“That’s the one thing… I can’t do.”
That one thing, no matter what, I couldn’t agree to it.
No matter how correct it might be, I couldn’t accept it.
…
In this room, which, with my own salary, I shouldn’t have been able to afford, I looked around at the overly expensive furniture.
This room… It forced me to confront the fact that I was the daughter of a big company president, with privileges that I was born with.
“I can’t… quit…”
Because if I did, I would fall apart completely.
“Ah…?”
The first thing I perceived was the room dyed in the orange hues of twilight, and the scent of books filling the air.
Next, what reached my ears were the shouts of the sports club and the music from the wind ensemble coming from outside the window. Yet, neither of them was jarring; they rather emphasized the tranquil silence of the place I was standing in.
“…The school… library…?”
In an adult lady’s suit, I, Haruka Shijouin, was perplexed by this unexpected sight.
I’m sure… I was dozing off on my bed…
“…A dream…? It feels strangely vivid though…”
The lucid dream unfolding before me was rather peculiar. First, the details were extraordinarily intricate. Despite being memories of the library in my high school, which I graduated from seven years ago, even the scratches on the desks and the titles of the lined-up books were vivid.
Moreover, usually when I dream of my student days, I find myself back as a student. But now, I, in an adult lady’s suit, stood in a corner of the library.
“Why am I dreaming about high school at this time…? And why any good memories now…”
The sight of my alma mater didn’t bring me any joy or interest. After all, my school life had been rather dull. There were no cherished moments stored in the album of my memory—
“I did it…! I got all the answers right! And it’s all thanks to continuing these study sessions!”
…!?
Turning towards the voice, there stood a teenage ‘me’ dressed in a school uniform.
The ‘me’ from back then. Trying to be liked by others, yet not making much effort to be liked. The childlike me who was still innocent, believing everything would be solved in the future.
And—
“Oh, great job, Shijouin-san! You’re using the official badge perfectly!”
“Hehe, that’s all thanks to you, Niihama-kun! Thank you so much for teaching me every day!”
…Huh?
I was astounded by this unimaginable scene.
There, wearing a school uniform, was the high school student Niihama-kun. He seemed to be teaching ‘me’, who was wearing a yukata and working busily, offering octopus balls and drinks on paper plates to the customers.
“…A takoyaki stall…? I remember our class had a simple exhibit around this time—”
Dreams might be absurd, but the alterations were going too far, and I was left in dumbfounded amazement. The smell of takoyaki pervading the air, the elaborately decorated classroom, everything was so realistic… It was as if this were reality.
“Yet it’s strange! Even though it’s this busy… I’m having so much fun…!”
…!
The ‘me’ in the dream was sweating profusely, but she was laughing with genuine delight.
It was as if she was fully enjoying this time, like a scene from a light novel I used to love.
“Haha…! It really might be strange!”
Answering the ‘me’s voice was Niihama-kun, wearing a happi coat and tirelessly making takoyaki. He too was drenched in sweat, busy with his work.
“I’m insanely busy and feel like I’m about to die, but… I’m insanely enjoying it!”
The Niihama-kun who should have had a quiet personality back then was also wearing a cheerful smile, seeming to share the same feelings as ‘me’.
I felt like there was something I didn’t know between these two.
—Again, the scene shifted.
This time, it looked like a classroom during lunch break.
“Phew, it’s finally lunchtime! I’m starving!”
“Oh, that tamagoyaki looks super delicious, Haruka. Want to trade it for this boiled broccoli?”
“No way, Mitsuki… That’s an awful exchange rate. At least offer me some bacon-wrapped stuff!”
…!
Spread before the ‘me’, who was supposed to always spend her time in solitude, were two female students who treated her very familiarly.
Those two girls, we should have had no connection. I barely remembered their names, but I didn’t have any memories of having lunch happily like this.
In this supposed fabricated scene—’I’ was chatting happily, just like any normal girl, and I was left in astonishment.
And—scenes kept changing rapidly from there.