Chapter 47: Remember Me |
[March 1, 2021] . . .
Shěn Lí stared blankly at Xíng Zhǐ. The spiritual shrine for the ancient gods was an sacred place that shouldn’t be easily accessible. Was it really OK to put it so casually in a room like this? People in the Immortal realm lived so peacefully that they felt this was acceptable? There wasn’t even a barrier at the entrance . . .
“Have I come too far? Is it too late for me to turn back?”
As a member of the demon race, even though Shěn Lí disliked the modern immortal people, she still respected the ancient gods.
Xíng Zhǐ lowered his head and smiled. “It is too late.” Then he tilted his head up to look at the shimmering tablets in the sky. “But it is alright. Since we are here, let us pay our respects. They have not had visitors in a long time.”
Since he said it was OK, Shěn Lí decided to remain. She looked up at the sky full of stars.
The tablets seemed to have a will of their own. They shifted, moving to gradually encircle Shěn Lí and Xíng Zhǐ. It was like the stars were a group of people looking at them.
Xíng Zhǐ smiled. “This place is designed to look like the Celestial realm. The constellations are fixed in the order they would normally appear in the sky. They do not move, but today they are excited to have a visitor, so in their happiness they came over.”
Shěn Lí glanced at him. The smile on his face was soft, but genuine, an unusual departure from his usual smiles. A certain kind of joy exuded from him – he was genuinely happy.
The names were just words for her, but for him, they were more than that. They were old friends who would never return. He watched the world as the years passed by without anyone to accompany him, living a life in solitude amongst a sea of stars.
No one knew how long he had lived. They only knew him as a high god of the three realms, one to be deeply respected and revered, someone beyond their reach.
“Do you . . . feel lonely?” The words unconsciously rolled out of Shěn Lí’s mouth.
Xíng Zhǐ turned to look at her. He was silent for a moment before asking, “Why do you ask?”
“I don’t know. But if it was me and I lost the Demon emperor, Ròu Yā, my generals and subordinates . . . if everyone turned into silent spiritual tablets, if I had to live in an empty Demon realm in solitude, ” Shěn Lí paused, “I wouldn’t be able to bear it.”
Xíng Zhǐ lost his smile. “One becomes accustomed to it – the responsibility that must be borne. You speak of loneliness, but my time, from life to death, is beyond my control.”
“But . . . doesn’t High God have the world in the palm of your hand?”
“To a certain extent.” Xíng Zhǐ paused. “The exception is myself. As you know the gods are too powerful to allow personal desires to sway them. As such my time, while alive to the moment I die, is beyond my control. Only when my life force is dispersed to Heaven and earth, settled into the mountains and lakes, can I truly die.”
Shěn Lí was shocked. “Gods can die?”
“Of course. All living things perish eventually. Even gods cannot escape that fate. Although I have lived for a long time, eventually I too will die. When that day comes, I will follow the natural law of the world; my life force will turn into a ray of energy that will disperse between Heaven and earth. That energy will become a part of the natural world again. Although my physical divine form will no longer exist, my divine power will always be here to guard the world and stars for eternity."
Shěn Lí was stunned. “So, then all gods who have passed on, they also turned into a ray of energy that now shines down on the world?”
Xíng Zhǐ shook his head. “No . . . about a third of them lived to the end of their natural lives, but the others had a change of heart and went against the laws of Heaven. They were stripped of their godhead and are now in an eternal cycle of reincarnation, forced to taste all the suffering the Mortal realm has to offer. They are completely destroyed, their divine powers gone, and with that, so too all their divine spells.[notes]
Cliffs notes version:Xíng Zhǐ: My life and death are not dictated by me.
Shěn Lí: How can that be? Aren’t you the boss of everything?
Xíng Zhǐ: No, not really. I’m the boss of a lot of stuff, but I’m not the boss of my own life. Not even my own death. I can only really die in one very specific way.
Shěn Lí: Wait?! What? Back up, gods die? Talk!
Xíng Zhǐ: Well, yeah. Duh. All life dies. Gods are no exception. Eventually my body will fail and my physical form won’t exist anymore, but my essence will always exist. So in a sense, that aspect of me will always be in the world, shining down as a ray of energy between Heaven and earth.
Shěn Lí: So then all the gods who died from old age, are they all rays of energy shining on the world too?
Xíng Zhǐ: No . . . only a third made it through, the others . . . they fell to one temptation or another . . . The ones who fell were kicked out and stripped of all their powers and regalia . . . They exist as mortals in the Mortal realm, trapped in an endless cycle of life and death. A little piece fades every reincarnation, until eventually there will be nothing left of them in the world.end note
He looked up at the tablets. “These spiritual tablets can be considered Heaven’s kindness. So that those left behind can have something to remember them by.”
He had watched those around him leave one by one, the tablets increase one by one, until finally he was the only one left.
“That is to say, those gods who have lived according to Heaven’s law will leave behind a legacy, while those who violated Heaven’s law will not.”
Shěn Lí was reeling from her newfound knowledge, when a terrible thought crossed her mind. “High God, if your godhead is destroyed, then the spell around the Ruins . . .”
Xíng Zhǐ nodded his head. “The Ruins is a temporal dimensional space I tore out from the world. The spell that holds it in place will unravel if my godhead is abolished.”
“Thousands of monsters like the fox-tailed scorpion will escape?” Shěn Lí was horrified.
“No.” Xíng Zhǐ smiled slightly. “They will disappear with the Ruins. But when that happens the Demon realm will be sucked in as well.”
“Why?!”
“Creating a space as enormous as the Ruins is difficult to do, even for a god.” Xíng Zhǐ held out his palm and a light flashed across it. “Even if one is created, it’s a fleeting one. It’s necessary to rely on the additional powers of the natural world to create something as immense and stable as the Ruins. I incorporated the five elemental powers in the Demon realm with my own divine powers to create it. In doing so, the Demon realm and the Ruins were joined together; the two are bound in life and death.”
Shěn Lí stared in disbelief at Xíng Zhǐ. She angrily said, “You actually did such a thing, disregarded all the descendants that would live there?!” Connecting the two together, wouldn’t that mean the Demon realm would be the first to suffer if there was any disturbance in the Ruins?!
“At that time opening a space was the quickest way to resolve the war.” His expression was cold. He didn’t regret his decision. “Had I not done so, the Demon realm wouldn’t exist today.”
Shěn Lí gritted her teeth. Sacrifices had to be made in battle sometimes. She knew this but the sacrifice this time . . .
Shěn Lí spoke through gritted teeth. “Your heart cannot waver, not even a little. I intend to live to a ripe old age. Do you understand?”
Xíng Zhǐ smiled. “Naturally. I am the only god who resides in the Celestial realm. The entire realm is held together by my divine power. Should I waver, it would crumble and fall to the Immortal realm. The Immortal realm would then collapse and endanger the rest of the world.”
The words were easy to speak, but the weight was heavy to bear. It pressed on Shěn Lí’s heart as she remembered Yōu Lán’s words that day on the way to the bath. The goddess was right. None of them could afford to lose Xíng Zhǐ.
It was just that . . . such a heavy burden, it made one unwilling . . .
“So,” Xíng Zhǐ spoke, his voice lighthearted, but full of meaning. “I cannot like you, Shěn Lí.”
Shěn Lí felt like his eyes were as bright as the stars when he spoke. The meaning was obvious, but she wasn’t sure if the warning was for him and for her.
Her heart twitched and she turned her head. “High God is surely jesting, how could I, Shěn Lí, dare have illusions about High God. Shěn Lí only requests High God refrain from teasing.”
“I’m afraid that too is beyond my control.” He interrupted her. He smiled while speaking such irresponsible words. “I can’t resist teasing you.”
This guy . . .
Shěn Lí clenched her fists, trying her best to reign in her anger. She stared straight at him and disrespectfully asked. “What do you mean by that?” He just talked about his heavy responsibility, about how he couldn’t afford to be emotionally attached to others, but the way he spoke just now, wasn’t he binding her to him?
He was pushing her away with one hand while holding onto her with the other. Shěn Lí wasn’t going to take it. “There’s something wrong with you!”
Xíng Zhǐ nodded. “I’ve always been me. Is there something wrong with being me?”
What kind of admission was this?
Shěn Lí stared at him. She was swamped by so many emotions in that moment, and yet she couldn’t say a word. The room fell silent; even the spiritual tablets returned to their original positions.
It took a moment for Shěn Lí to sort out her thoughts and react. This guy was so mean! Using such ambiguous language to describe something so honestly. His feelings . . . they couldn’t be allowed to exist.
But he said he couldn’t do it, so . . . it was up to her. She nodded decisively. “Since that’s the case,” Shěn Lí took a deep breath, suppressed the feelings in her chest and in a loud clear voice stated, “this king will resolve the problem for High God.”
It wasn’t really something she could do alone, but what else could she say? The one, who bore the responsibility for everything in the world, chose this moment to act willfully in front of her.
Then so be it. There was nothing under Heaven she couldn’t sever.[notes]
A slow smile formed on Xíng Zhǐ’s face. “Thank you, Your Highness.” He looked at her pitch-dark eyes reflecting the stars, and for a moment lost himself. He turned away and blinked. “I hope Your Highness treats not only the symptoms, but the root cause as well.”
Shěn Lí sneered. “I will definitely live up to your expectations.” She turned to leave but was stopped by a, “Your Highness,” from Xíng Zhǐ.
Shěn Lí waited for him to speak.
“There is one request I wish to make.” Xíng Zhǐ continued on without waiting for Shěn Lí’s agreement. “I do not know how long I will live for or when exactly I my life will end, but if one day my divine form disappears and my divine presence is absorbed into the natural world again, I hope, Your Highness, that in your free time, you will come and visit and sweep this place where my memorial will one day lay.[notes]
Despite Shěn Lí’s determination, she couldn’t help but turn around. “Why me?”
“Because I like seeing you.”
He understood better than anyone how quickly memories faded. Physical reminders helped prolong those memories, so that was why he wanted her to visit his memorial. But he knew even those memories would also fade.
The day she no longer remembered him . . . he would be so lonely.
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