Chapter 175: I’m Not A Lab Rat! |
Underneath the hospital, the crimson waters lapped against the banks outside a house. Inside, the air was thick with the smell of ginger and dog.
A monstrous black hound, with three heads lolling in unison, sprawled across a luxuriously patterned rug. Each head sported a matching collar of gleaming gold, a stark contrast against the beast’s inky fur.
Crouched beside the creature, a young man with pale, elegant fingers picked up a morsel of raw meat from a porcelain bowl.
The chosen head snapped, its jaws closing around the offering with a wet crunch. The other two heads whined, eager for their share.
The young man chuckled, setting the bowl down with a gentle clink. “Patience, my friends,” he murmured, as he stroked the nearest head. A mischievous glint sparked in his eyes. “Eat up, Goldie. We have work to do.”
**
Back in the hospital ward, Yu Xiao couldn’t shake the feeling of unease. Dumping her backpack, which contained the ever-helpful Nightmare, on the table, she slumped into a chair. Nightmare, sensing her mood, poured her a calming cup of jasmine tea.
Zhou Xiao Zhen’s tears flowed freely. Zhao Lan, at a loss for how to comfort her, patted her arm awkwardly.
Zhao Lan shot a sympathetic look at Yu Xiao, who seemed to be lost in thought. She was about to offer some advice when Yu Xiao spoke.
“I’m not down,” she said, “just thinking.”
“Right,” Zhao Lan said, momentarily speechless.
Nightmare, after placing a plate of sweet bean buns beside Yu Xiao, began mentally planning dinner.
Yu Xiao pulled out her phone and dialled a number. The female ghost on the other end answered on the first ring, her voice a touch too eager. She suspected she’d been pacing the halls, waiting for the call.
“Any luck?” Yu Xiao asked, getting straight to the point.
“I’ve been trying,” the ghost said, a touch defensively. “But I can’t exactly barge into people’s rooms, can I?”
“Fair enough,” Yu Xiao conceded. It wasn’t exactly hospital etiquette to have a ghost popping in and out of patient rooms.
“New plan. Slip a note under the doors. Tell them it’s from the ‘Deaf Descendant’ in Sixth Hospital. And include my number.”
“Got it,” the ghost said, relief evident in her voice. “Consider it done.”
Yu Xiao slammed her phone down on the bedside table, causing Zhao Lan to jump and spill hot water. Thankfully, it landed on her ghostly hand, so she didn’t feel any pain.
“That’s it,” Yu Xiao declared firmly. “No more instances.”
Zhou Xiao Zhen, with red-rimmed eyes and wide-eyed, looked at her through a veil of tears.
“I understand, Smiley,” she choked out. “If even Brother Bed could fall, it’s only natural to feel scared. But… we can’t stay confined to this ward forever, can we?”
Zhao Lan opened her mouth to speak, but Zhou Xiao Zhen’s words hung heavily in the air. Even she couldn’t deny a flicker of fear.
“I’m not saying we’re never leaving,” Yu Xiao clarified, picking up her backpack and emptying its contents onto the table. A jumble of strange objects clattered onto the surface. “Just… no more unnecessary risks. I’ve made up my mind.”
Zhao Lan and Zhou Xiao Zhen leaned closer, captivated. Yu Xiao had a knack for coming up with plans, and after the recent tragedy, they were eager for any glimmer of hope.
“Here’s the plan,” Yu Xiao continued, her voice taking on a determined edge. “I’m going to St. Elizabeth’s. I’m going to figure out what all this stuff does,” she gestured at the pile of props, “and then, I’m going to sell it. We cash out, combine our points, and boom – we’re free.”
Zhao Lan’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?”
“Never been more serious in my life.”
A wave of relief washed over Zhao Lan. Although Yu Xiao might have sworn off becoming the Horror Hospital Director, it was hard to tell if she had truly bounced back. This plan, as reckless as it might seem, meant she was still fighting.
“I’m in,” Zhao Lan said, her voice firm. “If Brother Bed couldn’t beat the system, we’re better off avoiding it altogether.”
Zhou Xiao Zhen, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand, nodded vigorously. “Count me in too.”
Yu Xiao began sorting through the props, a mischievous glint returning to her eyes. There were quite a few, each with its own unknown power. St. Elizabeth’s staff might be stretched thin, but she was determined to unravel their secrets. Besides, what was the time for someone who had cheated death on a regular basis?
She selected a few items and tucked them back into her bag. “Nightmare, you’re coming with me tomorrow.”
“Of course.”
Yu Xiao’s reasoning was simple: messing with potentially cursed objects was always easier with a bodyguard, especially a monster one. She had no intention of becoming another hospital horror story.
“What about me?” Zhou Xiao Zhen piped up, eager to contribute.
“You,” Yu Xiao said, a sly smile playing on her lips, “are in charge of Lu Xu. Keep those sales coming and make sure our escape fund is overflowing.”
“Consider it done!” Zhou Xiao Zhen declared, a newfound purpose hardening her gaze.
That evening, as the last rays of the sun painted the ward a dusky orange, Yu Xiao’s phone buzzed.
An unknown number.
“It must be a patient from another hospital,” she thought, picking up the call.
“Hello?”
Silence. Then, a hesitant voice. “Are you… are you a patient?”
“Yes!”
“Why… why did you slip the note under my door?”
*Straight to the point, I like it,* Yu Xiao thought, a slow smile spreading across her face.
“Look, I’m from Sixth Hospital. There are some things I’d like to ask the hospital’s seniors about. I was hoping you might remember someone who was discharged a few years back.”
Another beat of silence, then a curt reply. “I don’t know.”
The line went dead.
Yu Xiao sighed, tossing her phone onto the bedside table. So much for insider info. Nightmare, curled up at the foot of the bed in his current preferred form – a yellow kitten – cracked open an eye.
“Some people are just no fun,” Yu Xiao muttered, fluffing her pillow. Sleep came easily, a rare gift in the hospital.
She woke before her alarm, a strange sense of anticipation thrumming through her. No missed calls, but that was fine. St. Elizabeth’s awaited, and with it, the promise of escape.
Zhao Lan was already up, brewing tea. “Ready for a news update before we head out?” she asked, passing her a steaming mug.
Yu Xiao nodded, settling back against the pillows.
Right on cue, the 8 a.m. chime echoed through the ward, jarring Zhou Xiao Zhen awake.
Her eyes were puffy, still red-rimmed from last night’s tears, but she gamely turned towards the sound, a faint melody signalling the start of the broadcast.
“Good morning, and welcome to another beautiful day! Let’s see what’s on the agenda, shall we?”
“… Yesterday, a patient from Third Hospital was found deceased outside the designated safe zone. The cause of death is currently under investigation. We remind all patients to remain within the ward boundaries and focus on a speedy recovery…”
“… Reports have also surfaced of unusual noises originating from outside Fifth Hospital. The source of these disturbances is being investigated. Patients are advised to report any unusual activity to the Medical Dispute Office immediately…”
Zhao Lan took a sip of her tea.
“Another one bites the dust,” she said, her voice carefully neutral. “Do you reckon the poor soul from Third Hospital just couldn’t take it anymore?”
Zhou Xiao Zhen shuddered. “He was… a veteran. He had been here for years.”
“…”
“… Yesterday, Second Hospital’s very own ‘Southern Shores’ shot to the top of the leaderboards! Let’s give a round of applause to Sister Qing Lang! Their exceptional treatment performance has earned them the coveted title of ‘Master Cheat’! Congratulations!”
Zhou Xiao Zhen winced. “So, Sister Qing Lang is the top dog now, huh?”
The air in the ward crackled with unspoken tension. Yu Xiao and Zhao Lan remained pointedly silent.
“…And a valiant effort from Fourth Hospital’s ‘Whispering Monk’, whose dedication has earned him the posthumous title of ‘Died for Gossip’. Let’s give them a round of applause!”
“…”
“… And last but not least, Sixth Hospital’s ‘Deaf Descendant’ remains undefeated! They have earned not one, but two prestigious titles: ‘Overbearing Ghost Bully’ and ‘Brazen Robber of Public Property’! Let’s give our champion a well-deserved round of applause!”
Zhou Xiao Zhen shot a nervous glance at the blank question board propped up in the corner, a souvenir from yesterday’s encounter. “Do you think that thing still works outside the instance?”
Zhao Lan eyed the board sceptically. “It seems like it only answers questions when it feels like it.”
“Maybe there’s a trick to it,” Zhou Xiao Zhen mused. “Like, we have to answer one of its questions before we can ask our own?”
“Maybe.”
Zhou Xiao Zhen frowned. “But it’s blank. How are we supposed to answer a question that hasn’t been asked?”
“Tell you what,” Yu Xiao said, slinging her backpack over her shoulder. “I’m heading to St. Elizabeth’s. Why don’t you two stay here and…persuade that board to give us some answers?”
Zhou Xiao Zhen’s eyes lit up. “Oh, I can do that. I was the queen of disassembling toys as a kid. Not a single one survived my curiosity.”
The question board, as if sensing its impending doom, seemed to exude a faint, nervous tremor.
With a final wave, she called over her shoulder. “Don’t break it too badly. We might need it later.” And she was gone.
Zhou Xiao Zhen bounced over to the board, a mischievous glint in her eye. Operation: Torment the Talking Board was a go.
**
Meanwhile, at St. Elizabeth’s, construction was in full swing. Gluttony was busy digging foundations, while Qing Shi, seated in a wheelchair, mixed cement.
Yu Xiao surveyed the scene, raising a sardonic eyebrow. “Just the two of you? Has the hospital’s supply of ghosts run dry?”
Qing Shi, still with stains on his wheelchair and clothes from the Great Collapse, shrugged. “Resources are a little scarce at the moment. No one to spare.”
“Oh?” Yu Xiao turned her attention to George, who was leaning against a half-built wall, looking sharp in his crisp white suit. “Even the ghosts who are unable to walk are working, and you’re just… observing?”
George adjusted his gold-rimmed spectacles, appearing nonchalant. “I’m suspended, not sentenced to hard labour,” he drawled. “Rebuilding this architectural disaster is hardly my responsibility.”
“Well, consider yourself assigned to a new task.”
“And what task would that be?”
“Let’s just say the Dean has spoken,” Yu Xiao replied, her smile widening.
George straightened up, a sense of foreboding washing over him. He walked over, his curiosity momentarily outweighing his apprehension.
“Do tell,” he prompted, his gaze fixed on Yu Xiao.
With a flourish, Yu Xiao unzipped her backpack, revealing Nightmare, who emerged with a theatrical yawn.
George’s eyes widened. “You…”
“My bodyguard,” Yu Xiao announced, hands on her hips. “So, I suggest you behave. Step out of line, and Nightmare here will be happy to remind you who’s in charge. Now, go and gather all the hospital staff.”
George swallowed, a shiver running down his spine. He had been right, that last encounter with Nightmare had not been accidental.
As if reading his thoughts, Nightmare turned to George, his voice echoing unnaturally loud in the otherwise quiet construction site. “I sense resentment. George is harbouring ill will towards you.”
George froze, his face a mask of forced composure. He despised that cursed cat.
It didn’t take George long to round up the rest of the hospital staff – a diverse group of thirteen ghosts, each more peculiar than the last.
Tie Niu, a skeletal figure, approached Yu Xiao with a respectful bow, his bony hand rattling as it saluted his skull.
“Honourable Dean,” he clacked, his voice a dry whisper. “How may this one be of service?”
Yu Xiao, touched by his unwavering loyalty, decided to reward him. “You,” she said, beckoning him closer. “Stand by my side. The rest of you, line up. Yes, you too, George.”
She placed her backpack on the ground, rummaging through its contents until she found what she was looking for.
“Alright then,” she announced, pulling out a handful of strange and marvellous objects. “I seem to have acquired a rather… eclectic collection of props. Unfortunately, the instruction manuals seem to be missing.”
George gulped, a sense of impending doom washing over him. He had a bad feeling about this.
“So,” Yu Xiao continued, a wicked gleam in her eye, “I thought you lovely bunch could help me figure out what they do.”
George stood tall, clinging to his dignity like a life raft. “I want you to know that I am an attending physician, not a lab rat.”
Yu Xiao smirked. “Oh, come on, George. Don’t be like that. You hurt my feelings with your earlier resentment. Surely, you wouldn’t deny my delicate heart a little… reparation?”
She waved a particularly sinister-looking cat teaser wand, a playful smile dancing on her lips.
- (逗猫棒 (Dòu māo bàng; Literally “Teasing Cat Stick”)