Chapter 109: He’s Carrying Your Child in His Belly |
“Sweet mother of God!” Xie Ping gasped, his eyes wide with horror. “What in the name of all that is holy are they doing?”
Zhao Lan clenched her teeth, yelling, “Smiley, snap out of it!”
Yu Xiao and Luo Jin had their right hands clasped, and they kept slamming their shoulders together like a pair of demented rams.
“I wish I could!” Yu Xiao groaned, feeling like a complete moron. “I’m not doing this on purpose.”
Luo Jin was a head taller than Yu Xiao, so he had to spread his legs apart to match her level. They looked like a pair of drunken flamingos trying to dance.
“I think I figured it out!” Zhao Lan announced, her eyes lighting up. “We don’t have to act at all; our bodies are just following the director’s script like puppets.”
“That’s insane!” Yu Xiao cried out. “We’re not even actors; we’re just guinea pigs. What happens at dangerous scenes?”
Zhou Xiao Zhen’s voice droned on over the speakers.
“… A and B are the best of friends; they share a bond stronger than blood, even though they are only half-brothers. They never thought anything could come between them, until a new transfer student, C, showed up at school…”
He acted like a bad actor in a worse movie, bumping into Luo Jin and spinning around like a top. He let out a weird scream and toppled over. Yu Xiao and Luo Jin moved in sync, catching him before he hit the ground. Yu Xiao snatched his hand, and Luo Jin slung his arm around his waist.
Zhou Xiao Zhen’s voice oozed with emotion over the speakers. “… C is an amazing woman, so sweet and gorgeous, as light as a feather. A and B both fell for her at once, their eyes locked on her with such intensity, such passion…”
“Oh, for the love of God,” Zhao Lan muttered, rolling her eyes at the sight of the three of them in a heap. She also wondered, “What the hell is Precious up to…”
Yu Xiao and Luo Jin glared at Xie Ping, who shrank under their gaze. It was no fun being the target of the top patients from the Fourth and Sixth Hospitals at the same time.
But he had no choice; he had to look back at Luo Jin with even more fire and depth.
They stared at each other like that, until Zhou Xiao Zhen chimed in again. “But B didn’t notice that C’s eyes were full of love for A, like the thawing ice and snow of early spring…”
So Xie Ping kept staring at Luo Jin, and Luo Jin kept staring at Xie Ping.
They stared so long that their eyes started to water. Xie Ping, who had been bending over the whole time, felt his legs give out. He couldn’t take it anymore.
“… And that’s how it all began,” Zhou Xiao Zhen gushed, “the three of them became inseparable, and the whole school dubbed them the Iron Triangle…”
“Are you kidding me?” Liu Si Si had had enough. She gave Zhao Lan a nudge and whispered, “What’s the deal with your director sister? Did she write this crap?”
Zhao Lan bit her lip. She wanted to defend Precious. She wanted to say Zhou Xiao Zhen was a really nice girl, warm, bubbly, upbeat, and fun. But as she opened her mouth, she realised that being nice and fun didn’t rule out having weird thoughts….
She paused for a second and said with a sigh, “Maybe this is what the mission demands? We’re all stuck here playing these roles, and the director’s team probably has it rough too.”
Liu Si Si nodded, not really convinced, but willing to let it go.
The three finally got back to their normal stance. Yu Xiao rubbed her eyes, trying to erase the image. Luo Jin wiped his hands, as if they were dirty.
Xie Ping wanted to curl up and die. “What the hell? Why am I the leading lady? I’m a dude.”
Luo Jin shrugged. “Maybe the director’s team didn’t bother to check who each letter matched. They just picked the leading lady at random.”
“Jesus Christ!” Xie Ping shuddered. “So, I have to act all lovey-dovey with you? I can’t do it. I’ve never looked at a guy with such revolting eyes before, much less for that long.”
Yu Xiao grinned, “Cheer up, buddy, it’s not that bad. Maybe you’ll get lucky and score a kiss later.”
Luo Jin and Xie Ping paled at the same time.
“Quick,” Yu Xiao noticed the panic in Luo Jin’s eyes, “Call Zhou Xiao Zhen now.”
Zhao Lan nodded and whipped out her phone, “I’m on it.”
“I’m sorry, the user you are trying to reach is out of the service area…”
“What?” Zhao Lan shouted, “How can she be out of service?”
“Wuwuwu…” Xie Ping sobbed, “I don’t want to kiss Luo Jin, I’m not gay, I have a girlfriend back home, I can’t cheat on her…”
Luo Jin glared at him, his face turning from white to red. He looked like he wanted to say, ‘You’re crying? I should be crying.’ He thought that if they had to kiss, he’d be the one who suffered more.
“Will you shut up already?” Yu Xiao snapped, “You’re such a crybaby. You think this is bad? What if there’s a bed scene later?”
“…”
Luo Jin felt a lump in his throat. Xie Ping turned to Luo Jin and said, “Listen, I paid good money for this, you guys said you’d keep me safe in the instance. Well, guess what, guarding my virtue is part of your job too!”
At first Yu Xiao felt trapped in her own body, feeling sick to her stomach, but then she saw the humour in it. She smirked, “Don’t bother telling him, he’s the one who’s gonna pop your cherry anyway.”
Xie Ping’s eyes filled with tears, his soul crushed by despair.
“… They had some good times together, and love blossomed between them. One day, C and A snuck off to the woods behind the school, holding hands and whispering. But D, who had a crush on B, saw them. D, green with envy, ran to tell B everything…”
Xie Ping, looking like he was about to puke, clutched Luo Jin’s hand, who looked like he wanted to kill someone, and dragged him to the woods with a fake smile.
Zhao Lan followed suit, tiptoeing towards Yu Xiao, twiddling her fingers as she asked, “How about we date? What do you say?”
Yu Xiao, deadpan, said, “I can’t date you because I don’t like you.”
“What? Do you like C then?” Zhao Lan’s face twisted with jealousy. “Well, too bad for you, C likes A. I just saw them go to the woods for some fun!”
“No way!” Yu Xiao shook her head dramatically, pointing at Zhao Lan. “You’re lying! I don’t believe you!”
With that, she sprinted to the woods, only to find Luo Jin caressing Xie Ping’s face.
Yu Xiao had to bite her tongue to stop laughing. But her face showed nothing but grief and rage, as if her heart had been ripped out by the two people she loved the most!
“Stop it!” Yu Xiao dashed forward, pointing at Luo Jin. “Let him go!”
Zhou Xiao Zhen’s voice dropped, “… B’s heart was broken. He stared in disbelief at the two people he cared about the most, and then he said…”
“A! How could you do this to me? You knew I had a thing for C!” Yu Xiao yelled, “You betrayed me!”
“I’m sorry…” Luo Jin’s face was full of remorse as he lowered his head, “Please, let me explain.”
“I don’t want to hear it, I don’t want to hear it!” Yu Xiao shook her head wildly, then turned to Xie Ping, “You see, C. I’ve always loved you. Will you be mine?”
Xie Ping felt a stab of pain. His mind was spinning, unable to process anything. But his body was quick, “No… I can’t…”
“I’ll fight you for it!” Yu Xiao leaped at Luo Jin.
The two of them started to throw punches.
Zhou Xiao Zhen cleared her throat, then went on, “… What the hell, weren’t they supposed to be best friends? Weren’t those two like brothers? Why did they turn on each other for her? No, she couldn’t stand to see them like this; she had to stop them.”
“Knock it off, will you?” Xie Ping stood nervously between them, shouting, “Quit it, you two! Don’t fight over me like this, I’m not worth it…”
“This is insane…” Liu Si Si felt like she had seen everything, “Why is this scenario so freaking crazy?”
Then, an idea popped into her head, and she turned to Zhao Lan, “What if I record this scene, then sell it on the Fourth Hospital forum? One point per person. Think I’d make a killing?”
“…” Zhao Lan was speechless for a moment, then said, “I won’t let you do that.”
“Hey, I’m just talking out of my arse,” Liu Si Si said, “Even for Dragon Sister’s sake, I wouldn’t do that.”
Yu Xiao and Luo Jin threw themselves into a fierce fight, neither backing down. The sky suddenly opened up and pissed down rain on them, soaking Yu Xiao, Luo Jin, and Xie Ping in seconds, turning them into wet rats.
“We’re done fighting,” Luo Jin said, wiping blood off his mouth, “Can’t we just compete fairly? Whoever C picks, the other one has to respect it. We’ll still be brothers, friends, right?”
“Right!” Yu Xiao ran her hand through her hair, messing it up, “May the best man win!”
Zhou Xiao Zhen sighed, “… They swore to chase C together. But they didn’t know, the competition was rigged from the start. C never liked B; she only had eyes for A. B was clueless; he was always nice to C, until C got pregnant.”
“…”
**
“That’s it for now,” Zhou Xiao Zhen felt a knot in her throat, took a sip of water, and said, “Idol dramas are pretty easy to write, huh? I think it’s way easier than horror movies.”
No wonder she was one of the big shots of the Sixth Hospital, Wang Chun thought, impressed.
“Thank you,” she said sincerely, “If you hadn’t helped me, I would have been lost.”
“Oh, it’s nothing,” Zhou Xiao Zhen said, waving her hand smugly, “Helping you is only natural.”
Seeing her script flow so well, Lu Xu couldn’t resist anymore. He slid his chair next to her, with a charming smile, “Big Sis Zhen, help me out, will you? Just give me a hand.”
Zhou Xiao Zhen looked at him sideways, turned her face away, crossed her arms, and lifted her chin, “Nope.”
“Come on, we’re mates, right? Help a brother out, yeah?” Lu Xu pleaded, his face desperate. “I’m telling you, I suck at writing scripts.”
“Not a chance!” She snapped, rolling her eyes. “You’re talking about mates now? What about when you were conning us into doing your dirty work?”
“Er…” He was at a loss for words. He had to admit, he brought this on himself. If he had known how things would end up, he would have never gone down this road. “Zhou, I’m sorry. I screwed up. You have me by the balls.”
“Hmph!” Zhou Xiao Zhen smirked for a second, then said, “But I’m not heartless. I’ll help you out. On one condition.”
Lu Xu hesitated, “What condition?”
“Deal, mate.” She held out her hand, palm up. “I write the script for you, and you give me something in return.”
His cheeks twitched. He felt like karma was biting him in the ass. He laughed nervously, “What do you want from me? All the good stuff from my ward is with old Luo. All I have are some crappy function cards.”
“Crappy, huh?” Zhou Xiao Zhen motioned with her finger. “Let me see.”
Lu Xu pulled out a small pile of cards from his pocket. “Here. I have a one-time Bad Luck card, a one-time Ugly card, a one-time Name Change card, a one-time Pain Suppression card… They’re all worthless.”
“Wait a minute.” Zhou Xiao Zhen said, “That Name Change card. Show it to me.”
“Are you sure you want this? It’s just for changing nicknames, nothing else,” He said, suddenly recalling something. “Oh, right, your nickname is…”
Wang Chun, who had no clue what Zhou Xiao Zhen’s nickname was, asked, “What’s her nickname?”
Lu Xu scratched his head. “I get why you ended up with the name-change card, but nicknames are supposed to be your own choice. Why did you…”
Zhou Xiao Zhen said flatly, “Because I love the nickname ‘Braised Egg Girl’.”
Lu Xu: “But why…”
“But someone else already snagged that nickname, so I had to add some numbers at the end,” Zhou Xiao Zhen said.
“Oh!” Lu Xu got it, nodding. “So why 438? Is that when you were born?”
Zhou Xiao Zhen gave Lu Xu a look that said he was an idiot. “Which month has 38 days?”
Lu Xu: “…”
“And using my own birthday as a suffix would be lame. Back then, I thought, in the ward, we three sisters had each other’s backs, so I used our three birthdays as suffixes. Misty’s birthday is in April, Smiley’s is in March, and mine is in August…”
Lu Xu was speechless. “Didn’t you realise something was off?”
“I did,” Zhou Xiao Zhen said with a resigned expression, “but by the time I did, the nickname was already set.”
(“438” is a homophone for “死去吧” (sǐ qù ba), which translates to “just die” or “drop dead.”)
“Fine.” Lu Xu handed over the name-changing card to Zhou Xiao Zhen. “Go ahead and use it, it’s on me. So, what nickname do you want to switch to?”
Zhou Xiao Zhen blurted out, “Talisman Shop — Only three points each!”
Lu Xu stared. “…”
Wang Chun echoed, “…”
“Why?” Wang Chun was baffled. “You finally get to ditch your nickname, why not choose something that sounds nice?”
Zhou Xiao Zhen gave her a look of contempt, as if she was above the common masses. “What good is sounding nice? Once I change my nickname to this, every time they announce my name on the morning news, it’s like the hospital giving us free advertisements for our Talisman Shop.”
Lu Xu felt a surge of remorse. Who knew there was such a cunning business fiend in the world? He almost wished he could grab the name-changing card from Zhou Xiao Zhen’s hand and rename himself “Will Carry You in Instances” with his phone number.
**
Zhou Xiao Zhen’s last words hung in the air, and the whole film set went silent.
Then Xie Ping let out a piercing scream, pointing at his own belly in horror. “It’s moving… bloody Hell… my belly’s swelling up!”
Everyone watched as Xie Ping’s belly ballooned like a beach ball, ripping his clothes as if he had a small melon inside.
“Holy crap!” Liu Si Si gasped, “He’s freaking pregnant!”
Xie Ping was so terrified he nearly collapsed, but Yu Xiao slapped Luo Jin’s back hard. “Go and hold him up!”
Luo Jin looked horrified. “Why me?”
“He’s got your kid in his belly!” Yu Xiao kept slapping him. “Do you want them both to die?!”
“Bullshit!” Luo Jin snapped at Yu Xiao. “He’s got nothing to do with me!”
Zhao Lan dashed over, supporting Xie Ping. She shouted at the two bickering people. “Cut it out! Is this the time to fight?”
Liu Si Si joined her, holding Xie Ping from the other side. She gulped, poking Xie Ping’s belly gently with her finger, then cried out in fear and awe. “It’s moving! It’s moving…”
“Wuu wuu wuu…” Xie Ping, a grown man, wailed like a baby. “What do I do? What do I do…”
Yu Xiao’s scalp prickled. “Does this mean he has to push it out?”
Liu Si Si blurted out, “How does he do that? Where does it come from?”
“Seriously?” Zhao Lan rolled her eyes. “That’s what you’re worried about? Don’t you get it, if the script says Xie Ping is pregnant, then he is. For real. And you know what happens next, right? Smiley offs herself, and then Xie Ping croaks during labour!”
Oh, crap. Yu Xiao remembered, too late, that she was supposed to kill herself in the next scene.
No way. She frowned, feeling a surge of panic.
“What the hell do we do?” Zhao Lan asked, her voice shaky. “We can’t call anyone, and we can’t get out of here. Are we just going to die like the script says?”
“Not me.” Yu Xiao scanned the room. It was a fake film set, with no escape routes. Her eyes landed on the only exit, the elevator.
But Mr. Wang had warned them before, that going up seven floors was a nightmare. If she left this place, she might end up worse than dead.
But staying here was a death sentence, too.
Yu Xiao made up her mind. She lifted her chin and said to Zhao Lan, “Misty, I’m bailing.”
Zhao Lan stared at her. “You…”
Yu Xiao flashed a wicked grin. “I’m taking the lift,” she announced. “You can stay here, you’re not the main character. Nothing will happen to you here.”
Zhao Lan glared at her. “Are you kidding me?” she snapped. “How can I let you face danger alone?”
Yu Xiao shrugged. “I might not necessarily die,” she said casually. “You know me, I have some tricks up my sleeve. I might just pull through.”
Zhao Lan shook her head. “No way!” she said, rushing over and grabbing her arm. “We go together!”
Xie Ping, who looked like he was about to pop any minute, piped up. “I’m coming too!” he said anxiously. “I’m not staying behind, even if it means getting eaten by ghosts. Dying in childbirth is not my cup of tea. Take me with you, let’s go together.”
Yu Xiao gritted her teeth and made up her mind. “Fine, we’ll go together.”
The three of them headed towards the lift, but before they could take a few steps, Luo Jin caught up with them. They all looked at him in surprise, knowing the plot. Luo Jin should be safe.
“I’m sticking with you lot,” he said. “With me in the mix, our chances of surviving increase.”
He sounded a bit boastful, but they all felt touched. Luo Jin didn’t have a great relationship with them, but he was willing to face danger with them.
With four of them waiting for the lift, Liu Si Si was left alone in a bind. Even though she probably wouldn’t meet a scripted death, she wondered what was going to happen to her.
“Wait for me, you lot!” she ran over, panting. “What’s this about? Leaving me behind to face death on my own? Luo Jin, you took my props, you have to make sure I’m safe.”
Ding~!
The elevator doors slid open with a cheerful chime, inviting them to step inside. The interior was anything but cheerful, though. A faint yellow light cast a sickly glow over the metal walls and the worn-out carpet. It looked like the kind of place where someone would get murdered. Or worse.
Five people exchanged nervous glances.
Yu Xiao was the first to enter. Zhou Xiao Zhen followed her closely. Luo Jin came next. Xie Ping, the pregnant man who looked ready to pop any minute, shuffled in with the help of Zhao Lan.
The elevator doors closed behind them with a final thud, sealing their fate.
Liu Si Si let out a sigh. “Maybe Mr. Wang was just exaggerating?” she said, trying to sound hopeful. “Even if the upper floors are terrifying, as long as we don’t stop on those seven floors, we’ll be fine, right?”
She reached for the button panel and pressed the one marked G. It lit up with a reassuring click. Liu Si Si smiled, showing her dimples. “See, it worked.”
The elevator began to descend, slowly and smoothly. Everyone held their breath, waiting for something to go wrong.
Ding~!
The elevator stopped with a jolt, making them all jump. They looked at the display above the door. It read 7.
The elevator doors opened with a hiss, revealing a pitch-black corridor. Nothing was visible beyond the faint light that spilled from the elevator. Nothing, except a pool of blood that seeped from under the door across the hall. It looked fresh. And it smelled like death.
Xie Ping gasped, clutching his swollen belly. His legs gave out and Zhao Lan caught him.
“What do we do?” Liu Si Si whimpered, her voice cracking. “You’ve taken my props.”
“Move to the back,” Luo Jin ordered. “Yu Xiao, we’ll stand at the front.”
Yu Xiao nodded and moved to the front of the elevator, next to Luo Jin. They formed a human shield, blocking the others from the dark hallway.
In the silence, they heard a sound. A wet, squelching sound, like someone walking through a puddle. It was coming from the corridor, getting closer and closer. The smell of blood grew stronger, making them gag.
They were not alone.
Yu Xiao gripped a talisman in one hand and a Coin in the other. She was ready to fight, or at least to die trying.
The others were silent, barely breathing. They waited for the inevitable. Then, a massive tentacle, covered with slime and blood, emerged from the shadows. It had a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth, ready to devour them.
It lunged at them, aiming for the elevator.
It was a monster! The talisman was useless!
Yu Xiao didn’t hesitate. She was about to toss the Coin, when a golden blur flashed beside her. Luo Jin, glowing like a superhero, charged at the monster.
Boom—!
The impact sent Luo Jin flying back, smashing into the elevator wall. He left a dent in the shape of his body.
“Zhuge!” Xie Ping cried out, running to him and shaking him. “Zhuge, are you okay?”
Yu Xiao didn’t move, her eyes fixed on the outside. The monster had retreated into the darkness. The elevator doors closed with a clang, cutting off the sight.
Yu Xiao backed away, wiping the sweat from her forehead. She turned to look at Luo Jin on the floor. “Are you okay? I have a Life-saving Talisman here.”
“Zhuge!” Xie Ping kept shaking him, his voice desperate. “Wake up, Zhuge, if something happens to you, what are we going to do! Don’t leave us!”
“Shut up,” Luo Jin snapped, pushing him away. He got up from the floor, his face grim.
He glared at Xie Ping and said, “Don’t ever say such disgusting things to me again.”
Xie Ping froze, then remembered what Yu Xiao had told him—there was Zhuge’s child in his belly… He sounded like a pregnant wife whose husband was about to die.
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