The Thousand-Slayer Swords Association-Episode 188
EP.188 Chapter 19 - Cheonghae, rich man (8)
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It's disgusting to even think back on where we went wrong..
It was only then that Zhuge Byeok realized.
The foolishness of looking only at the distant future and ignoring all the tasks at hand..
Zhuge Byeok felt guilty for even being sad, so he couldn't cry in front of Go Seo-yeon's body..
I despised myself for regretting and grieving later, so I stayed alone and brooded over the separation until everyone left the grave..
“I….”
muttering.
“…I have committed a great sin against you.”
you left.
I can't even apologize for the rest of my life.
I survived by being a terrible husband..
I got choked up and couldn't speak any more and fell to my knees..
I barely let out a sob..
Feelings of resentment and hatred surround the body..
It was resentment towards myself and hatred towards Geumhwajang..
“I will definitely get your revenge someday. And I will die the way I deserve.”
Zhuge Byeok made a pledge that day in front of Go Seo-yeon’s grave..
I will definitely bring down Geumhwajang, who made her like this. I will rip out every single root of their pillars and throw them into the fire pit..
And to Zhuge Shan, who had to suffer, he said that he would die in the way the child wanted..
A year passed like that..
Jegalsan, who had been unable to get out of Go Seo-yeon's shadow the entire time, eventually revealed the cause of Go Seo-yeon's death..
And then came.
“Did you know?”
I didn't know.
I didn't know either.
I was so bad that I couldn't protect your mother..
sorry.
So many words lingered in my mouth.
Still, I couldn't spit out anything..
Asking for an apology late felt like such a heinous act, and the act of verbally apologizing to a man who had not been able to fulfill his role as the child's father until the end only felt abominable, so Zhuge Byeok would rather do it..
“…So what to do?.”
I decided to become a sinner.
I wanted to do the only thing I could do so that my child could live like this without falling apart..
If you think about your resentment and burn it with hatred, you will be able to move forward on Mount Zhuge..
Just like how I hated Sega for my mother and how I grew up, I will be able to look further into the future once again..
“I resent you so much. To the point where I want to kill myself.”
“….”
“So I will live for it. If you want to stop it, just stop it. If you're afraid of the future, try killing yourself..”
That was the only apology a sinful father could give to his son who could only shine in solitude..
Zhuge Wall dares to hope.
“If you can't do it, I'll keep going. Until the moment I have the power to kill you.”
Atonement through death.
*
Go Seo-yeon’s face is in front of you..
That fact made Zhuge Byeo rediscover the expression he had lost..
Even though I haven't missed a single day, the face that was blurred in my mind because I can't see it again becomes clearer..
My heart trembles slightly as the voice tickles my ears..
“Yuna….”
Even though you know you're in trouble, letting it go is complaining..
“I hurt you.”
“I made you die like that..”
“What should I do? I just don't know.”
The words flowing down in pieces are watery. At some point, Zhuge Bai felt tears flowing down his cheeks..
“i am a sinner.”
The world talks about the greatness of King Jin..
Nevertheless, Zhuge Bai did not consider himself great at all..
“What do you do when you reach transcendence through martial arts?.”
He was transcendent as a warrior and top-notch as a family head..
But as a head of a family, he was third-rate..
He was the worst husband and the worst father..
“What should I say to you, as I brought matters to this point by not being able to protect one important thing?.”
Because of that, everything was ruined. I constantly regret.
What would it have been like if I had let go of my greed just a little, if I hadn't tried to get the entire family and family, if I had just looked at Go Seo-yeon and Zhuge-san?.
“I am lost. I'm lost without you.”
Words of sadness continued in full swing..
Meanwhile, Go Seo-yeon lightly approached me..
At some point, she crossed the landscape where she was standing and arrived right in front of Zhuge Wall..
“You are acting like such a fool..”
She stretched out her hand, still smiling..
A hand touches your cheek. I write tears in a very realistic form..
“Do the best you can. Wasn't it too early? To me.”
Zhuge Byeok let out a long breath at those words..
I fell to my knees.
Go Seo-yeon hugged Zhuge Byeok.
“So all you have to do is do your best..”
I am comforted once again by the words of Go Seo-yeon, who I don't know if it's an illusion or a real spirit, but I don't want to know..
I realize once again that I need her presence..
Feeling even more guilty and grateful, Zhuge Bai wanted to open his mouth..
It was that kind of moment.
Puuk―!
With the sound, Zhuge Byeok felt a burning pain in his back..
A hand with a gloved hand penetrated the left waist..
“…ah.”
A momentarily dazed head, a creaky head that turns.
There was Zhuge Mountain there..
Zhugeshan, with blank, open eyes, a frown on his face, and breathing heavily..
It looks like he's clearly been swayed by illusions and lost his senses..
“live….”
what are you seeing.
*
Zhuge Shan attempted dozens and hundreds of times..
It was a repetition of the moment when Zhuge Byeok was pierced and killed with his hands, and at each moment, the illusion fell just before his nails touched his heart..
The more it happened, the more Zhugeshan felt his senses becoming blurred..
Still, I couldn't stop chasing Zhuge Byeo..
This is because the hardened mind transforms into empty energy and raises the body once again..
The poor performance that always held me back was no longer a problem..
I swing my nails and scream at the top of my lungs..
The moment he ran for a while and stretched out his hand again, Zhuge Shan clearly felt the sensation of his hand digging into something..
“live….”
I hear a voice.
Only then did Zhuge Shan raise his head..
The arm is stuck on Zhuge Byeok's waist..
Zhuge Shan was belatedly able to wake up his dazed mind..
‘this is….’
Is it an illusion, or is it reality?.
Can we dismiss this taste as an illusion?.
Doubts disappear so easily that it’s funny..
“…It went as planned.”
Zhuge Byeok said.
A smile, an expression that Zhuge Shan had never seen before, appeared on his face..
A very bitter smile.
*
Wouldn’t it be okay if I died like this?.
Zhuge Byeo thought for a moment..
But soon I shook my head.
‘Isn’t this an enemy camp?.’
How could I leave Zhuge Mountain in this dangerous place and close my eyes?.
If you do something like that, you will have one more thing to apologize to Go Seo-yeon..
Zhuge Byeok closed his eyes tightly and reprimanded himself..
‘I….’
You have to do what you can. Since you are a sinner and deserve to be punished, you should not escape through death..
Snap, Zhuge Byeok touched the floor..
He got up and pulled out Zhuge Shan's hand..
“…You have to do it right.”
Is there ever a time when I am so fortunate to be an ugly person who can only say hard things?.
“Put off personal donations. I'm on a mission now.”
Zhuge Byeok tapped the dazed Zhuge Shan on the shoulder..
A piercing wound to the left lower back..
Okay. I can handle it for now..
“I need to find my life story.”
A body that has reached transcendence barely speaks of death to this extent..
Of course you will die if you don't take action.
But even that didn't matter.
‘Preparations are complete.’
We are ready to drive out Geumhwajang and hand over the family to Zhuge Mountain..
Since all preparations had been completed before the war, Zhuge Mountain would be able to obtain the revenge he deserved..
Nothing changed with his death.
So let's think about one thing.
Even if our lives end today, let’s just think about saving Zhuge Mountain..
Zhuge Byeok had a point on his lower back..
The pain subsided and much of the bleeding stopped..
this is enough.
“Follow me.”
I trudge and find the living gate of Jinbeop..
It shakes off the strange scent and energy flow that was making me dizzy..
Then it began to appear in Zhuge Byeok’s eyes..
‘It's raw.’
It is also the center of the formation.
Fortunately, it seemed to be nearby..
“for a moment….”
Zhuge Shan said.
*
The feeling of Jege Byeok penetrating my waist is still vivid in my body..
Zhuge Shan looked at his blood-stained hands, then looked at Zhuge Byeok trudging away..
Why do I feel so frustrated even though I did what I wanted so much?.
Is the bitter smile he showed the problem, or is it his own feelings that are the problem?.
Zhuge Mountain caught Zhuge Wall.
Zhuge Byeok turns his head to look at himself, his expression still expressionless..
But there was definitely a trace of the smile from before somewhere inside it..
I resent your unwavering bluntness even when your back is pierced..
Still, my throat feels dry..
Zhuge Mountain knew. This was the heart beneath the hatred.
It is the bond between father and son that I gave up on, thinking that I would never be able to hold it in my hands..
In the end, Zhuge Shan couldn't help the frustration inside him, so he asked:.
“Did you really not know?”
Although it is a word with the subject removed, it will be conveyed straight away..
Both he and Zhuge Mountain knew what he was asking..
“Did you really not know your mother's cause of death? Did the matriarch feel nothing at all about her mother's death? The head of the family…!”
I'm speechless.
There was a short silence..
Zhuge Byeok turned around and answered.
It was definitely an answer that solved all the questions asked by Zhuge Shan..
“Not even once.”
Why now?.
“…There was never a moment when I wasn't in love.”
Is it now, so late, to say that?.
“Still, I gave up, so just blame me..”
How can you be so clumsy?.
See next episode
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