Never touch Eldmia Egga - Episode 27
It wasn't a difficult situation to guess..
Even though I didn't know the average in this world, I knew that my actions were absolutely not typical. Therefore, I expected that Asilier would notice even if I just brought up Ekaf's story. Still, when she finally shut up, it was hard to look her in the eye..
It's not that I committed a crime, but I was afraid of the very act of seeing what her reaction would be when she heard what I said. She didn't want to face a situation where she didn't regret the breakup, and she didn't want to be sad about the breakup..
"huh. They said that even if they can't help me make sure no one can touch me, they can help me catch the commander of the devil's army.."
So, I knew better than anyone else that even when Ragnis asked me to accompany him to the capital under the pretext of teaching, he made up an excuse by mentioning the King's 10 Swords, which he considered impossible..
But the different world that always goes beyond imagination has become another world this time too..
The inner anger, which he pretends to be half joking and half serious, disguised as mere belief, goes on a rampage and urges him to accept Ekaf's offer, telling him not to cling to what is only happiness for a limited period of time..
"I can't even help with that."
Of course. Because she was an elf adventurer who was only slightly different from the ordinary. No matter how much she is the benefactor of my life, it doesn't change that fact..
"That remains true even after the remaining two years. If you want to achieve your goal, you must not miss this opportunity like when you first met me.."
Even though he explained quietly in a calm voice that did not reveal any emotions, it felt as if his entire body was being tightened. Every time she took a step, I wanted to lift my eyes and look at her, but I couldn't..
Except when I was driven by the anger that absurdity aroused, I was just an ordinary person. An extremely trivial person who is worried that his relationship with the person he likes will go sour..
"...Nevertheless, LD is considering that proposal.."
Asilier slowly approached me and gently hugged me. She was already taller than her, and to my eyes, only her hair was visible, but Asilier's trembling as she hugged me made me know how she was feeling without having to face her..
"Elves have no concept of time passing quickly.."
Asilier whispers as she gives strength to the two arms she embraces..
"This is true not only for elves but also for most long-lived species. Because what's left is time. For us, time is always nothing more than leisure. This is why there are more elves who return to the world tree because they have no regrets about life than there are elves who die of old age.."
That whisper is so dangerous that you can't tell that it's disguised as resoluteness..
"But when you start getting involved with humans, you quickly become swept up in their flow. In their short lives, unlike us, the sight of them running tirelessly to live a more satisfying life before the years that follow closely behind them, casting a net of death and dragging them away, is like a jewel made of fluttering flames. It's so close that I look at it like I'm possessed."
I had no choice but to raise my arms and hug each other. Her increasingly severe tremors and her crying voice let me know that she, like me, no longer wanted to break up. Even so, the silence she maintains, unable to say she would just refuse, represents her inner feelings of averting her eyes and not facing each other properly..
"Even though I know that what awaits me after that moment of happiness could be hundreds of years of burning pain and sadness, I am drawn to it... and mostly despair. That's why elves with such experience always give advice to young elves. Always be alert when dealing with humans, and always be mentally prepared. Still, it's not enough."
8year.
The period of time I proposed, thinking that it was a long time for me, but like a moment for her as an elf, was not nothing because it passed quickly, but it was so fast that it became terribly painful..
"Of course I didn't know that either. This is advice I never forgot during the 60 years I wandered out of the forest. I reminded myself of this every time my interest in L.D. turned into affection. As one year and two years went by, I was preparing to face the separation with courage.."
If it was simply a matter of me going away for a while and coming back stronger, she would have smiled and let me go..
They would have confirmed through their stories that they both regretted parting, and eventually returned and reunited with a smile..
"So even if LD ended our contract early because he thought he had nothing more to learn from me, I thought I could just laugh it off...."
Even if they couldn't confirm each other's feelings, they may have deliberately left a chance for them to meet again through a deal in the form of slyly putting off the remaining two years. Even though she laughed at her irrationality, she would have accepted it as if she was just being gullible..
"I was like that... I'm happy to know that L.D. doesn't want to break up with me, but I can't stop crying because I know I can't hold on to you... I'm even sad that this moment came two years too early. It seems like."
But she knows what I'm after.
I know better than anyone else because I watched every moment that Eldmia said and put into practice back when she was young and thought that her relationship would end easily. She jokes and laughs as if it's no big deal, but she knows that the driving force that keeps her living that life right now is her anger toward that day six years ago, so she can't even say the words "don't go.".
What if I had died an ordinary death in my past life? Even if I couldn't even become truly independent in an increasingly impoverished life, I wouldn't have died as soon as I made up my mind to live steadfastly, believing that if I live with hope, hard work, and a good life, without giving up on my dreams, good days will come..
At least, if that death had not been from being stabbed by a knife wielded by the robber who killed my parents. At least, if my villagers and parents hadn't been killed while I was reincarnated in another world and living with the same resolve. Of course, if that were the case, I wouldn't have been able to meet Asilier, but what if. Even if that had happened, I would have been able to meet Asilier and our relationship would have continued as it is now..
Only after making that assumption did Eldmia, in her imagination and home, stop and stay by Asilier's side. In other words, if she didn't assume that much, her anger at the irrationality that had piled up from her past life stimulated her obsession and she couldn't stop it..
It was an obvious trauma. The fact that my lifelong will to live uprightly was destroyed twice without being able to resist simple, unreasonable, and unjust violence..
No matter how diluted it was thanks to Asili, it was an open wound that would split in an instant and bleed again if something similar happened..
"Thank you Asilier."
No apology. Because it's not my fault. It's not like I was burned while running wild alone, it's like I was hit while standing still, so it makes no sense to apologize to Asilier for the trauma I caused. Apologies are owed to those who made me like that..
So thank you. Because they watched over and supported me as I lived with the sole intention of overcoming that trauma..
That's all I can do now.
◈
Asilier's crying continued for a long time afterwards..
Even though I was trying to calm down, I kept bursting into tears every time I saw his face, and it was already evening..
"Calm down now?"
"Is it possible?..."
From her perspective, it would be like looking at a sunfish that is calm and nagging, and you don't know when it will die the moment it leaves your eyes. It was a question I had no conscience about asking, but I had no choice but to ask..
In the end, she was able to stop crying only when the stew she started making while crying profusely, leaving Asilier exhausted and starving, was finished. Even as I sat her down at her table and set her table, while watching her carefully, Asilier lowered her head and maintained her silence with her ears drooping, I noticed her. Only after sitting next to her did she open her mouth..
"Come back."
"huh?"
Asilier spoke with a haggard face that had not been seen at all in recent times..
"Although I am anxious and afraid, it is also true that L.D. is not ordinary. Actually dealing with magic."
"......"
"If it's a goal you can't give up anyway, learning properly from the best will increase your chances of survival in the long run. So come back."
Asilier slowly raised her head and looked at me. Her eyes were red like a rabbit, but her pupils were clear..
"I'll be waiting here until you kill him and come back."
"...huh."
"Instead, when you come back, let’s go on a trip with me.."
"...huh."
"Whether it takes a few months or a few years, LD will put in a lot of effort and suffer. And if you kill a guy of that size, you'll be so strong that most guys won't even be able to touch you.."
Asilier smiled painfully as she slowly lifted her spoon and scooped up the stew..
"You can afford the luxury of traveling with me.."
I was so thankful for those words that I ended up crying too..
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