098 fall apart
The gap was really too small, just a trace, but he could feel that little bit of coolness, as if the air was flowing. Although he couldn't confirm whether it was real or his hallucination, the faint possibility made his adrenaline completely explode. When he came out, he started to use his fingertips to press the small slit, trying to lift the cover up slightly..
But... not moving at all.
He thought of the nails he had just driven. They were densely packed and tightly nailed every part of the coffin, leaving no gaps. He tried his best to squeeze his fingertips into the gaps, but there was no possibility at all. , you can even feel the thick and warm blood on your fingertips, but it still doesn't waver at all, as if there is an elephant sitting on the lid of the coffin, that small and weak feeling dragging him into the bottomless abyss, After the thrill of free fall, only endless despair remains.
No, he won't give up, he refuses to give up.
Taking a deep breath, the boiling air began to sting after entering his lungs, and his stomach began to retching again. He gritted his teeth and swallowed the feeling. Then he picked up the shoelaces and tied them The shoelaces are stuffed into the gaps bit by bit.
In the darkness, he couldn't see his results, so he could only rely on instinct to keep squeezing. However, the shoelaces began to accumulate on his fingertips, and he couldn't push them out at all. All the shoelaces were blocked in the gaps, motionless. , no matter how hard he tried, all his movements were in vain, the tangled shoelaces were stuck in place, without any progress..
He grabbed the shoelace and pulled it back hard. Unexpectedly, the shoelace was pulled out easily. His right hand was too hard and hit the wooden board above his head. Severe pain came from the back of his hand and wrist, and he couldn't help it. The suppressed rage broke out, but he could not vent it. He was like a wounded beast, grabbing the gap crazily, messing with it with his fingertips, and finally started to get angry at himself..
He clenched his fists, opened his mouth wide, and roared silently. All the strength in his body burst out from the tense muscles, "Ah!" But no sound came out from his throat, he just opened his mouth wide, then There was no trace of the anger, depression, struggle, and pain that was vented heartily. There was only a burst of sadness. The gray despair climbed up like a vine, wrapped around the ankles, spread quickly, and swallowed the whole person bit by bit. Not even a bit of residue is left.
Despair slowly settled down, and the gray hair-like emotion penetrated every inch of the blood, wrapped around the heart, devouring the bright vitality and vigorous vitality, and then the chest slowly sank, It was as if the last bit of strength had been drained away, and even his spine had been taken away. Only a skin was left on his body, which fell limply, throwing up a cloud of dust..
The last trace in his eyes fell away, his pupils began to collapse, and his entire soul was shattered..
Humans are always so stupid, aren't we? Just before the explosion, he had a big fight with Linda. They had been in a cold war for two weeks without communicating a word, but Linda called him about Sean. We were still discussing the matter of our children, but it ended in a quarrel..
He thought Linda didn't understand his hard work. He was covered in yellow sand here in Iraq and couldn't even take a shower, let alone the terrible diet and ubiquitous explosions. The reason why he did this , I made my last effort for this family, but I couldn’t get understanding..
Linda thought that he did not understand her burden. She was so busy at work that she could not spare any time, but she had to take care of Sean, otherwise she would miss her child's childhood and never have it again. She just hoped that her mother or His mother comes to stay with Sean for a while to relieve her stress, but he doesn't agree.
The argument ended with Linda hanging up the phone on him. Linda said that whether he wanted it or not, she would let her mother come and stay for a while. He was furious because he knew that his mother-in-law had never been I liked him even when my life was stable and everything was moving in a positive direction. If his mother-in-law comes to live in his house, then his last piece of pure land will disappear, and both Linda and Sean may be Persuading, getting further and further away from him.
He really thought that their marriage had come to an end and there seemed to be no room for redemption. But now, here he was, lying in a coffin, buried alive in the middle of the desert. How ironic. He didn't want to end their marriage. He still wants to go home, he doesn't want to continue to quarrel with Linda, he still loves her deeply, but he still has no chance..
What's even more ironic is that his company gave up on him, and all the benefits he was promised were gone because they fired him. When he was still dying in the coffin, it was so cruel and cold that people shuddered, and all of this Just to clear up the relationship, everything is worth the exchange of interests; his government has also given up on him. The so-called "saving every citizen" is just a joke in the face of national interests, and they will not come to save him. , even the Iraqi soldiers were abandoned, and the only thing the government cared about was oil..
So, he had nothing. He lost his wife, his son, his support, his home, his life, and even his faith. So, what was left for him? When he dies, will he be left with nothing but a soulless body?？
He began to lose consciousness gradually. He couldn't feel his feet or his hands. The narrow space was compressed to the extreme. Even the air clung to his skin obediently. All his senses seemed to be magnified. Extreme, but it seemed to be imprisoned to the extreme. The suffocating difficulty was so clear, so clear that it made people despair. In a daze, he returned to the hospital bed again. He was still Chu Jiashu, still the paralyzed person in a high position. Chu Jiashu.
He struggled with his body, but found that he could not move at all. The nightmare that had troubled him for ten years returned to his body again, and his soul was imprisoned in his body again. The panic swept over him, and the pain in his eyes The warmth accumulated, and no matter how hard he struggled, his body was completely numb and cold, leaving only a piece of ice..
Everything is back to the starting point. His dream is just a joke, and his efforts are in vain. His persistence, hard work, and efforts are all just a death struggle. What's even more ridiculous is that, He thought he had finally won the opportunity to spread his wings again, and embraced freedom like a moth to a flame, but in the end he fell into the abyss and was shattered into pieces..
He is not willing to give in, but what can he do if he is not willing to give in? Regret could not help him, anger could not help him, even if he tried his best, it would not help. The grievance gripped his throat firmly, heartbreaking but silent, and he watched helplessly as his soul was being destroyed bit by bit. Swallowed by gray despair.
Vivid and cruel, real and cold.
The dimensional wall between reality and illusion was completely broken at this moment. He could no longer tell clearly whether he was Renly, Paul, or Chu Jiashu, or else he was just a wandering soul without identity. Everything in the past was just A dream, even the thirty-two years of my previous life was also a dream. When I woke up from the dream, I couldn't accept the reality and fell into madness. It fell apart. All the story clues were confused and became a mess, Paul's, Renly's, and so on. With Chu Jiashu, it was as if three memory puzzle pieces had been knocked over at once. The fragments were all mixed together and reflected in the kaleidoscope. It was dazzling, but it was difficult to distinguish the true from the false..
He tried to clench his fists, but found that his brain had lost control of his hands; he tried to take a big breath, but found that his throat had been completely locked; he tried to run his thoughts, but found that his mind was in a mess. Even his eyes were warm. The tears gradually lost their temperature, became bitingly cold, and then evaporated into air and disappeared without a trace..
At this moment, time has completely lost its meaning. I don’t know whether it has passed a second or an hour. The air has become thinner and thinner, and the boiling oxygen is burning in the lungs, just like thousands of embroidery needles are stirring. The tearing pain came faintly, and the unconscious body seemed to finally be able to feel a little bit of movement..
But the slightest movement is the knell of death.
The hands of the God of Death firmly grasped the neck, and the sharp nails pierced the throat. He used force, and force again, and pinched out purple traces. The torture of suffocation caused darkness to pour into the body, and the whole person began to sink, as if He sank into the vast and desolate sea, surrounded by icy seawater. The biting despair slowly froze the blood into ice. The whole person sank like this, and kept sinking. The unfathomable seawater seemed to never reach the bottom. You can never reach the end, you can only be imprisoned in endless nothingness.
The soul is withering.
His body cannot move, but his mind is still active; his dream is still alive, but he still has the qualification to dream; his progress encounters obstacles, but he can still try again after failure; his life is trapped in reality, but he can still have it A small happiness. However, the wings of freedom are broken, the soul is slowly withering and dissipating, and "he" will no longer exist. Whether it is Chu Jiashu, Renly, or Paul, he will disappear, and the last touch The extinction of thoughts is the moment when he completely disappears from this world, completely obliterated.
It's over, it's all over.
Light, a ray of light penetrated through, but the weak light was so sharp that it stung my eyes and hurt. "Huh..." I exhaled a long breath. Is this the light of rebirth? Or the light of the end? He wasted his chance to be reborn, so that's the end of it, right? How ridiculous, how absurd, how nihilistic, but it’s really coming to an end.
“Renly? Renly! Jesus Christ! Renly! Wake up, please, wake up！”
The sound came from far to near, slamming into the soul like a loud bell, overwhelming pain surged in, and every cell in the body began to roar and scream. In an instant, he emerged from the deep sea.！
Comments