097 Obsessed
Darkness, endless darkness, as if you are in the universe, that extreme darkness begins to swallow up light, swallow up hope, swallow up life, the touch of space is gradually lost, it seems to be so restrained that it is almost suffocating, and it seems to be so broad that it is boundless. , even time has lost its meaning. There is no difference between a second of pause and a century..
Quiet, suppressed to the extreme quiet, hold your breath, there is no sound in your ears, even the sound of air flowing seems to have disappeared, there is the sound of slowly flowing water in the complete silence, which makes people stare. My eyes listened carefully, trying to catch a glimmer of life, but later I realized that it was the sound of my own blood flowing. It was like an auditory hallucination, and the boundary between reality and illusion began to disappear..
After being exhausted, Renly began to search for every slightest movement. Even the sound of fingertips rubbing against each other was amplified to the extreme..
Why is he here? Who is he? Is he Renly, Paul, or a ghost that doesn't exist at all? What is he doing now? What is he pursuing? Should he survive? How should we survive? Would it be better for him to just give up? Anyway, he has already died once, and there is nothing scary for him if he dies again? No, he should continue to live because his wife Linda and son Sean are still waiting for him at home. He doesn’t want to die. He is only twenty-seven years old and life has just begun. He doesn’t want to die.！
Cell phone, yes, his cell phone！
The flame of hope burned weakly, and he began to search for traces of mobile phones in his pockets, but there was nothing in his pants pockets, jacket? Where's the top? But he was wearing a T-shirt today, no jacket at all. By the way, there are pockets on the back of the pants, none, still none..
“Bang! Bang bang! "I lost control of my emotions easily and hit the board hard. There was a burst of pain in my slightly swollen fist, but the muscles were almost numb, so I just hit it nonchalantly..
Why was he in such a predicament? How on earth did he get himself into such a predicament?？
Iraq, yes, Iraq. The damn real estate bubble cost them everything, and they only had... seven hundred dollars left in their bank account, ha, damn seven hundred dollars, and he couldn't even afford a steak, Not to mention the mortgage.
Because of this financial crisis, he and Linda have been quarreling for nearly thirteen months. All love, all sweetness, and all happiness have become fragmented in the face of the existential crisis. Every day is suffering..
They once had a good time, the crazy love in college, and the love between you and me when they were newlyweds. They used their own hands to build their happy home bit by bit. But they fell into the bottom of the valley overnight, and the huge The gap left both of them at a loss. He even lost his job, making matters worse..
He couldn't remember when the quarrel started. It might have been something trivial at first. He didn't put the milk in the refrigerator after drinking it. He forgot to turn off the lights when he left the kitchen. He forgot to take in the shopping basket that was left in the garage. ...But later, the quarrel began to get out of control. They began to curse each other, blame each other, hate each other, and became like each other without knowing each other..
Their lives were falling apart. Iraq was his only option. If he refused, the bank would take away their house, the house where he and Linda built their home, by next summer at the latest or by the end of this year at the earliest. Lots of choices, right?？
What's more, at the time, Iraq was not a bad choice, with generous remuneration and high pensions. Moreover, as non-combatants, Iraq would not take the initiative to attack. Once an accident occurred, not only would the company reimburse, The government would not stand idly by. He even joked with Linda at the time, "Otherwise, I would just die there, so that our family's mortgage would have a way out.".”
Stupid, really stupid！
Did he never think about the dangers in Iraq? No, he thought about it, but he selectively ignored it! He never learned his lesson.
He wants to go home. He just wants to go home now. He misses Linda's smile, misses Sean's naughtyness, God, he even misses the freezing cold winter in Hastings. But now he is trapped here. In a small box, in this small box that can't even extend its arms and legs, and then quietly waiting to die, quietly waiting for the oxygen to be consumed, and then cruelly cutting off all life.
How ridiculous, isn't it? What's even more ridiculous is that he actually has no energy left to cry now. He just wants to smile, and the corners of his mouth rise slightly, and then drop down weakly. Despair begins to gnaw at his heart..
He was really a coward, a coward who was afraid of death. He didn't even have any decent resistance to survive, so he was captured without waiting. He didn't wait for Iraq to shoot him or for nature to devour him. He just gave up and lay here waiting to die. He is a disgrace and a joke. He still wants to challenge his acting skills? Does he still want to realize his dream? Does he still want to be an excellent actor? This is simply the most ridiculous joke of the 21st century..
Elizabeth and George were right, he didn't have any talent, and he didn't have any talent. The dream of acting was just a wishful thinking. He dreamed of shocking the audience with his performances like those top actors, and he dreamed of acting like those artists. Carving out a piece of my own on the road, dreaming of having my own place like those names that go down in history, but all this is just the pride and paranoia in my heart, and the unwillingness and anger of my previous life..
He is just a mediocre person without any acting talent, not even "injuring Zhongyong", because Zhongyong at least once was brilliant, like a shooting star, but he is just an ordinary person who has done nothing. This was the case in the last life, this time The same is true for the first life. Even if you are reborn, you will still be a loser..
He was like Sisyphus in the ancient Greek mythology, tirelessly trying to push the boulder to the top of the mountain, but because the boulder was too heavy, it would roll down the mountain again before reaching the top, and all the previous efforts were wasted. So he kept repeating, forever. Sitting endlessly, life is slowly consumed in such an ineffective and hopeless work.
This is punishment from the gods.
He thinks he is chasing his dream, he thinks he is pushing the boulder, and once he succeeds, he will achieve brilliance and deny the gods. Every day's struggle is so fulfilling and exciting, but in fact it is just an extremely stupid repetitive action. He beat himself to death and still refused to give up. He tried a thousand times but still couldn't break the shackles. In the end, he spent his whole life staying on this steep slope that could never be achieved..
This is the source of his faith, but it is also the source of his misery.
So, should he give up? Or is he giving up now? He gave up his dream, and even more so his struggle. After all, he ended up with the same ending in his two lives - lying here quietly waiting to die, unable to do anything, or doing nothing at all.？
No, he will not surrender! He refused to surrender! No matter what the outcome is, even if he dies again in the end, he will fight until the end. He will not accept his fate, let alone give up..
Calm down, he has to calm down.
He didn't have any tools now, so he could only rely on his hands - yes, and his feet. An idea flashed in his mind. He wore sneakers today and they had shoelaces. If he found a gap, he could tie the shoelaces. If you reach out, can you send a distress signal? Maybe too weak, too inconspicuous, but at least there is a glimmer of hope！
So, he began to calm down, concentrate highly, and eliminate all distracting thoughts. He slowly groped on the wall with his hands, trying to find the seam between the coffin and the lid. The sense of touch in the darkness and tranquility began. Become sensitive, as if you can clearly feel every touch of silk, just like a poisonous snake moving slowly in the swamp, using your body to feel every inch of the land, and then quietly waiting for the opportunity to strike a fatal blow.
Found it！
His fingertips touched the slightly invisible gap. He quickly stuffed the excess fabric around into the gap, made a mark, and then began to take off his shoes..
After taking off his right shoe, he realized that he was trapped in a limited space and he couldn't reach the things under his feet. It was really a short circuit in his brain! Fortunately, I still have my left foot..
He raised his left foot parallel, then grabbed the trouser leg with both hands and tried to pull it up, but before his fingertips could even touch it, his knee hit the wall. There was at least half a palm's distance between his hands and the fingertips on the soles of his feet - —He wasn’t completely sure in the dark, so he could only rely on instinct to figure it out..
Gritting his teeth, he forcefully began to reach down, his shoulders pressed against the wall, and his head also pressed against the wall. Wave after wave of pain surged in at the limit of suffocation, but he was completely unknown, and he worked hard with his right hand. He explored the ground downwards, a little, and a little more, and a little more. The blood vessels were almost bursting, and the muscles all over his body were tense to the extreme... enough, finally enough, he grabbed the leg of his left leg with his right hand, and then Pulling up bit by bit, his neck and knees were about to break. It seemed that with just a little more strength, he would break his throat and die. Every cell in his body was moaning in pain, but he still didn't give up. My eyes are red and I keep persisting.
Heels, shoes, ankles...the fingertips are stretched to the extreme, almost cramping, and I can't exert any force at all. I can only rely on weak strength and the cooperation of my feet to try to take off the shoes without losing the shoes..
“Phew." He finally took off his shoes and hooked them with his fingertips! But at this time, his index finger was twisted due to cramps and could not be straightened at all. It was at a weird angle. He didn't care. He didn't care at all. He hooked the shoes and took them. He came up, quickly removed the shoelaces, and then quickly found the gap that was marked just now..
He needs to open the gap a little, and then a little more so the laces can go out！
The eyes covered with red threads were shining brightly in the darkness. He had completely lost his mind and contained surging murderous intent. He fell into madness and became possessed..
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