573 emotional pull
“what can i do？”
These were the words to lend a helping hand, but Henry's body pulled away, and the contradictory approach pulled a trace of pain and struggle between his brows. Under the calm face, there was a turbulent wave, as if even falling through the window The sunlight coming down has become colder.
Meredith stared at Henry blankly, desperately grabbing her ankles and dragging her bit by bit into the abyss of death. Before giving up, she shouted out, from the deepest part of her heart. , "As you said, we were born in such a society and have nothing. The only thing we can do is lament the badness of life.……”
Meredith searched Henry's gaze longingly, trying to find the slightest resonance in those eyes, as well as the familiar warmth, but Henry's eyes were so calm, as calm as thousands of years of ice, keeping everything The emotions were tightly wrapped up, which made Meredith eagerly take a small step forward again, wanting to see a little more clearly, a little more clearly.
“This is not enough." Meredith felt like she was being torn into pieces. "I can't hold on." She took a deep breath and wanted to say something more, but her emotions were tightly blocked in her chest and she couldn't say anything. She could only shake her head, and then shake her head again. The free-falling despair pulled at her emotions and began to fragment..
Looking at such a fragile Meredith, Henry's eyebrows flashed with a hint of hidden pain, but he still managed to pull himself together and tried to get closer to Meredith, but after raising his left hand, he moved closer to Meredith's arm. , but I don’t know where to put it - because Meredith is a minor, and he is also a teacher. Any form of touching minor students is not allowed..
In the end, Henry put down his left hand in vain, and said earnestly, "Listen to me, listen." The face in front of him was so immature. Before it had time to grow and open up, it had already begun to wither. Henry's brows He hesitated slightly, thinking about his words, "We are all the same, we all feel pain..." That low and magnetic voice was like a gurgling river, and the pain in Meredith's eyes began to well up..
“We all encounter chaos in life, and I know that life is really confusing." Henry's voice was so light, yet so heavy, the words jumped between his lips and teeth, and all the bitterness, struggle and suffering in his heart were suppressed, There was only peace left, a dead calm. Before she realized it, Meredith's eyes filled with tears again, and she looked at Henry dully and blankly, motionless..
“I don't have the answer to life either." Henry cruelly pronounced that he couldn't even redeem himself, so how could he redeem others? After finishing speaking, Henry paused for a moment, his deep eyes flashing, and he tried to continue He remained indifferent, but the dilapidated Meredith in front of him made him unbearable. The struggle awakened countless memories in his mind: the mother who could not be saved, the grandfather who could not be saved, Erica who could not be saved, and Unable to save myself.
Maybe, he can't save Meredith, but at least he can fulfill his duties as a teacher.
“But I know that if you write everything out, everything will be fine." He is an English teacher, and writing is his medium. He hopes that Meredith can get redemption from it. But he forgets that for Meredith For Dis, photography is her medium. But at this time, he was too busy taking care of himself that he had no time to notice these details. The muscles in his back stiffened again, and the invisible alienation was always looming, like a bonfire. Facing the burning torment.
He is persisting, he is trying, he is trying his best, otherwise he will look away and look at Meredith seriously, intently and devotedly, hoping that she can feel the sincerity in his eyes and find The strength to persevere. He sincerely hopes that she can be redeemed.
Meredith was immersed in those moonlight eyes, and could catch the bitterness between her eyebrows, reflecting her own face, as if she was standing in front of a clear mirror, suffering from torture. In his soul, she saw the state she was most familiar with. He was the same as her. The hot tears just fell down..
Meredith did not wipe her tears, but looked at Henry desperately and fragilely through the hazy tears, "Teacher Bart, do you like me?" Her choked voice was intermittent, fragmented, and dangerous..
The corner of Henry's mouth curved, with a little helplessness, "Of course." In the way a teacher likes his students..
But this sentence completely defeated Meredith's last line of defense and strength. The whimpering sound rolled up from the depths of her throat, and tears kept flowing out, including happiness, shame, joy, madness, pain, sadness, all of them. Emotions surged up. This was the first time someone said to her: I like it, the first time since she was born..
She just let her tears flow freely, as if a three-year-old child had finally found a warm harbor after being lost for a long time, and then moved forward little by little, timidly but expectantly, fearfully but yet... Longing for it, he finally threw himself into Henry's arms, carefully rested his head on Henry's shoulder, and burst into tears..
Henry raised his hands, at a loss. He tried to avoid it, but there was no way out behind him. Then Meredith hugged him tightly and cried loudly. Henry was overwhelmed by the disintegrating fragility, and he He tried to put his raised hands down and pat Meredith on the back, but this action was not appropriate, so he froze in mid-air again, not knowing what to do..
He can't do this, not only because of the relationship between teachers and students, not only between adults and minors, but also because he has no spare power to save another person. Perhaps, such an embrace is not to save, but to go to another person. A bottomless abyss. He was trapped at the bottom of the abyss of despair, living numbly and indifferently like a zombie, but he could not pull Meredith to die together..
“Meredith, don't do this." Henry's voice was so difficult, the pain between his eyebrows could hardly be hidden, it was about to overflow, and even his words became difficult..
“Please." Meredith's whimpering voice came muffled from her chest, begging..
Henry knew it was cruel, but he had to do it. He put his hands on Meredith's shoulders and pushed her away, carefully maintaining the distance between the two people, but not daring to He exerted too much force and could only half-flex his arms stiffly, neither straightening nor tightening them. Then he tried to lower his head and look into Meredith's eyes, but Meredith was already in confusion and just covered her head. Mouth, shaking his head with tears on his face, trying hard to return to Henry's arms, looking for that trace of warmth, and that trace of dry and reassuring breath.
“I can't help you." Henry closed his eyes, gritted his teeth with all his strength, and said in a deep voice, drawing a boundary between the two people..
Meredith raised her head and begged sadly, "Please, please." However, she was disappointed because she couldn't see Henry's eyes, nor the familiar tenderness. The softness and fragility in her memory turned into a cold indifference and toughness, which made her burst out with amazing energy. She directly ignored Henry's refusal "no" and plunged into Henry's arms, as if This is her lifebuoy, this is her last glimmer of hope.
“You said you liked me. You said it." Meredith had completely collapsed, repeating the same sentence over and over again, "Please, please." She let go of everything. Self-esteem and reserve also abandoned all defense and protection, as if falling into the dust, crying repeatedly. "Please, please don't leave me, don't.”
Those bloody cries made Henry feel sad, and there was a faint light in the depths of his eyes. He quickly turned his head, took a deep breath, and covered up the vulnerability of that moment, but the sadness and pain between his eyebrows But it's so thick that it can't be dissolved. It's like being in purgatory and being tortured..
He tried to speak, but no sound came out. He could only push Meredith away with force. This was too cruel and rough, as if his hands were covered with blood and he was strangling her. living life.
“Please, I just need you to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be okay. Please." Meredith was already out of breath from crying, and her words were vague and could only be pieced together. fragmentary fragments.
“Everything will be fine." Henry said hoarsely, seeming to convince Meredith and himself, "Everything will be fine..”
Meredith could feel the strength on her shoulders, resisting her approach and refusing her help. Even her words lost their warmth. She rushed forward and buried her head in his arms. Inside, absorbing the last trace of warmth, she knew that she was extremely pitiful and pathetic, but she could no longer think. This was her last hope of survival..
The classroom door was pushed open, and Sarah stood at the door, looking at the two people hugging each other tightly, looking at Meredith crying bitterly, thoughts flashed through her mind, and then she revealed an incredible expression. Surprise and fear.
Meredith heard the sound, turned her head, and then saw Sarah with a judgmental gaze, which made her last bit of strength completely disappear, "No, no, no, no." She shouted desperately, in the original She circled around, angry at herself, Henry, and Sarah, but in the end, shame and despair broke down all the defense lines, and she was defeated, so she fled and left the classroom quickly..
“Wait, Meredith. Wait." Henry chased after her, but Meredith didn't stop and staggered away. Sarah standing next to her looked at Henry in disbelief, " What's going on? what is going on？”
But at this time, Henry had no time to pay attention to Sarah. He just looked at the sobbing and broken back of Meredith and said loudly, "Meredith, I'm sorry." The voice fell like a plate of loose sand, and then He froze in place, sadness slowly falling on his shoulders like a dark night, those eyes were so painful.
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