466 The oil is exhausted and the lamp is dry
He leaned back in the chair, looking up at the cold moonlight and starlight in the sky. Even through the car window, he could hear the whistling wind and the sound of hunting in the rich night. Renly knew that his The state is terrible, even worse than when filming "Buried Alive".
The scene was interrupted before the shooting was completed. This means that the shooting needs to be continued or even re-shooted. The smooth rhythm of the performance was interrupted. When shooting again, it is necessary to adjust the state and re-immerse yourself in the role. , this is not easy for actors, it is like self-torture, once is not enough, you have to do it all over again.
But this is not a problem for Renly now. He is now fully involved in the performance. Even if the rhythm is interrupted, he can easily get back into it again. The details and framework of those performances are vivid and clear in his mind. Presented in the brain, freely and freely.
The understanding and control of performance is quietly changing little by little..
The real serious problem is that his physical condition and mental state are not optimistic..
From the outside, he looks just a little tired now, nothing too strange. But in fact, he is suffering from torture and suffering..
His entire back was soaked, and cold sweat was pouring out in layers. He had dried it once before, but was soaked again; all his strength was drained, even one finger He couldn't move, and it felt as if every muscle had been crushed by a steamroller; his temples were twitching, and the tough and sensitive nerves were gently pulled down along the entire spine. Every nerve in my body was in such extreme pain that I couldn't even scream..
When he was filming "Buried Alive", he almost survived. He almost thought he was going to die again. The immersive horror made people fall apart, but that was someone else's experience, even if the boundary between reality and illusion has been completely Confusion, even if the distinction between Paul Conroy and Renly Hall has been completely blurred, is an experience that neither Renly nor Chu Jiashu has ever truly experienced..
This time when filming "Me Fighting Cancer", I really re-walked the path I have experienced, from the torture of the disease to the fear of death, from the advent of darkness to the torture of suffering, and finally reaching the other side of the light, re-entering the world. To be reborn, just like the movies "Edge of Tomorrow" and "Source Code", he must experience his death again and again, die once, again, suffer again, and again.
Every time, he watched helplessly as he walked towards the end of death, but he was always helpless and powerless. He could not save himself or ask for help, he could only repeat the ending of his death..
Mental torture is like water dripping through stone, every time it is so real, so real, so delicate, it is extremely cruel to split the experience of death into countless details, just like cutting the "pain" into pieces, bit by bit Taste it carefully until the soul completely dissipates.
What is even more frightening is that what he experienced was not only the death of Chu Jiashu, but also the death of Adam. The torture of paralysis and the impact of cancer were so long and so fierce, as if there was no end in sight, and he could only live in the endless world. Floating in the sea of suffering.
He couldn't say which one was more difficult to shoot, "Buried Alive" or "I Fight Cancer", but there is no doubt that the pain and torture caused by "I Fight Cancer" is so real, so real There is nowhere to escape. Even if you leave the illusion, even if you leave the movie, even if the filming is over, in real life, the part of Chu Jiashu's soul deep down is still suffering and accepting torture..
This is the cruelest place of illness and death.
After the catharsis of the scene just now, Renly has completely blurred the outline of the performance. Chu Jiashu in the previous life, Adam in the movie, Will in life, and himself in reality are all mixed up. That is no longer the case. It's a performance, but a real cry from the soul——
Experienced the ups and downs of emotions, from suppression to release, from anger to despair, from unwillingness to pain, from sadness to emptiness, from struggle to helplessness, until the final acceptance, the calmness after surrendering, with a hint of bitterness , self-deprecation, joking, ridicule, like ripples, are more intense than roller coasters and free falls..
Now he can almost be said to be exhausted..
His eyes were hot and painful. He tried to close his eyes and rest, but found that the corners of his eyes were dry and cracked, and the pain was severe. The hot temperature was always burning his eyes, and the soreness of his nose made tears begin to well up, but Before the water mist could form, it had already evaporated, leaving my eyes extremely dry..
Can't even cry.
He lowered his eyelids and laughed dumbly, but he found that with just this subtle eye movement, the sharp pain passed through his temples and stimulated his brain, going from the surface to the deep layers little by little, as if something was drilling through the ground. It was like banging a hole, and the pain that burst out in an instant spread to every corner of his limbs. He had to grit his teeth and endure the unspeakable pain, but he made no sound at all..
He breathed out gently, and his burning lungs felt like needles. The air that came up was filled with the smell of blood, which filled his mouth. He felt like a paralyzed patient suffering from cancer, the sickle of the earth god. It was already clamped around his neck, and it was cold and cold; but he still gritted his teeth and refused to give up..
Is this in vain?？
The moonlight and starlight in his sight were covered with a thin halo, and the whole world became hazy. His heated eyes and dry lips seemed to be like a fire burning in his lower abdomen, and the fuel was his blood. , spirit and soul, when the flame goes out, it is the end of life.
The corners of his mouth twitched slightly, revealing a ridiculous smile.
Renly knew that these were hallucinations and he was just acting. Chu Jiashu transformed and was reborn as Renly Hall. Will in life successfully survived the operation, and Adam in the script also gained a new life through the operation. , this is not the end of life. But, at this moment, in this scene, his mentality remains in such a wonderful and sad position..
Acting is a magical thing, isn't it?？
Whether they are methodists or experientialists, in the final analysis, they are all about establishing a resonance between actors and characters, awakening their own emotions, bringing that part of their emotions into the characters, and then bursting out the power of the plot..
Although the method school is more opportunistic, it is still not an easy task to reach the top.——
For example, in "Brokeback Mountain", even though Heath Ledger regarded Jake Gyllenhaal as the opposite sex and fell in love, he still had to convince himself that Jake was the "opposite sex" and convince the audience that this was his Ability is also a reflection of the method that has been polished to a certain extent. Later, when Heath was trying to figure out the role of the Joker in "Batman: The Dark Knight", Heath broke the barriers of the method and truly used the experiential approach to push himself to the top. Dead end.
As for the experience group, it is really too risky, as if it is performing with life. The performance of "Buried Alive" may be better or worse if Renly is put into the performance for the second time, but what is certain is that, It will definitely not be what is shown in the finished product now. Because the performance of the Experience School is a moment of youth. At a specific node, all the most authentic memories deep in the soul burst out, completely confusing the boundaries between performance and reality, and also Confusing the distinction between role and person.
This cannot be copied.
This is also the reason why Hollywood encourages methodism more. If every actor uses the experiential method, after reaching the extreme, he will no longer be able to perform for a long time, or even get too deep into the play and cannot extricate himself, leading to a series of irreparable consequences. , that would be unimaginable.
Russia still encourages experiential performance methods, which is really thought-provoking. This is why Russian films always have a rough and barbaric temperament, just like their literary works..
But for Renly, he doesn't mind the method or the experience, because no matter which method it is, it is a new experience and exploration for him, opening up a new world for him, re-understanding performance, and learning again. Performance.
He tried to calm down and think, thinking about how the scene was performed just now, thinking about the detailed differences between method and experience, thinking about his own emotional input and performance output, thinking about the ins and outs of this performance, and thinking about his feelings after the release. ...But before my thoughts could come to me, my brain began to throb..
The throbbing pain came one after another, and then began to spread, like thousands of embroidery needles being pierced at the same time. The bone-piercing pain made all the muscles in his body tense up, but he was exhausted now, even clenching his fingers. Less than - he has lost the feeling in his fingers and is not sure whether he can control them. His muscles are so numb and stiff that he seems to have completely lost consciousness. However, the pain has not weakened at all, one after another, like a wave..
Then the temple began to throb again, and the nerves with the thickness of the rope were stretched to the extreme, just like the main control rope of a puppet. When pulled upward, the whole body stood up straight, and the powerful feeling could be felt in every corner. Feeling of being pulled, and then completely losing control of the body and being at the mercy of others.
Cold sweat seeped out again. Even though he was sitting in the car without opening the windows and not feeling the cold wind, the chills still came one after another. Renly couldn't tell whether this was a side effect after chemotherapy. Is it because of physical weakness caused by cancer, or because the body's functions have been disrupted after paralysis, or else...it's just my own illusion.
He just sat quietly in the driver's seat, lowering his eyes slightly, but his body was being torn and tormented by the stormy waves. The pain was so extreme that he began to enjoy it, and the curvature of the corners of his mouth rose slightly. It was bitter, but sweet..
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