424 adverse effects
Gradually, the strength returned to the body, and the cold limbs felt the warmth again, and the sharp touch surged like a tide, but finally it gradually warmed up; but the stomach was cold and cold, as if a few pieces had been thrown away. It was like a hockey puck going in, and it kept falling heavily..
He reluctantly stood up with support, but found that his legs and knees were shaking slightly, and his whole person was in a state of exhaustion. He opened the door panel of the compartment, staggered to the sink, and then he could see The sweaty, messy, pale-faced version of myself in the mirror seemed to have just walked away from hell, and a mocking bitter smile appeared on the corner of my mouth..
Even when he was filming "Buried Alive", even when he stayed in the coffin for eight hours, even when he had a physical confrontation with Vin Diesel, he was never so embarrassed. But today, he is It was a complete mess. I felt like all my defenses had been completely defeated. I was completely defeated and I didn't even have the strength to fight back..
But, this is not unusual, is it?？
Because all this is really too real. For him, this is not a movie, this is life..
He understands the depression of slowly sinking but being unable to call for help, he understands the embarrassment of longing for life but being helpless, he understands the numbness of being indifferent when death approaches. He is Chu Jiashu, and he is also Adam. There is no such thing as It takes effort, and you will easily be trapped in that chaotic space again, floating up and down..
The eyes in the mirror were out of focus, listless, and lifeless. They were simply too ugly to look at. He couldn't help but raise his right hand and swipe across the mirror, trying to delete the image, but only a row of fingers remained. The watermark blurred the projection, and the face transformed into six or seven broken images, like the moon in the mirror..
He turned on the faucet, splashed cold water on his cheeks, washed away the sweat completely, and rubbed his cheeks vigorously, trying to wake himself up, but then he realized that he was awake and had always been awake, because those memories were too real. It seems that there is never a moment that is false.
My hands were full of coldness, and the temperature of my skin still hadn't recovered, and it was almost as if I couldn't feel the presence of blood vessels; that almost vampire touch, the desolation and desolation of the immortal body surged over me..
Looking at his gently trembling hands, Renly suddenly understood. Everything just now was a side effect of chemotherapy..
But...the side effects of chemotherapy? how ridiculous.
First, he does not have cancer; second, he does not receive chemotherapy; third, there is not even much problem with his body. But he is suffering from the side effects of chemotherapy? This is simply the greatest absurdity in the world! How ridiculous! nonsense！
The smile on the corner of his mouth couldn't help but twitch up, mocking himself, but halfway up, when he looked at himself in the mirror, he suddenly stopped: This is not impossible..
Just like a pregnant couple. When the wife is pregnant, the husband, in order to show consideration and care, begins to adjust his living habits to the same pattern as his wife, including getting up and resting, fitness methods, and even eating habits, etc..
Under certain conditions of psychological resonance, the husband may also experience "pregnancy" symptoms, including morning sickness, nausea and other general conditions, and may even experience conscious fetal movements and abdominal distension, completely simulating the condition of his wife's pregnancy..
This phenomenon has been confirmed by medicine and has occurred in many real-life cases..
Everything was too real and too close, so that the body felt the psychological hints and began to react accordingly, completely blurring the boundaries between reality and assumptions, allowing the hypothetical situation to evolve into reality. Therefore, Is this the way he is now?？
He really felt the erosion of cancer, and he really felt the invasion of chemotherapy. All of this was like the previous life, that slowly sinking suffocation, like the right hand of the god of death, grabbing neck, slowly tightened, and then strangled all hope of life.
So, is he really crazy now? Illusion and reality have been completely integrated. Just like in "The Truman Show", the illusion on TV has become the reality of my life..
He exists, but does not exist. He is a real person fabricated by man. He has flesh and blood, personality and edges. It is difficult to distinguish the real from the fake. But everything about him is in the hands of "God" Controlling. So, can he walk out of this absurd reality show like Truman?？
He raised his head again and looked at himself in the mirror. There were drops of water on his cheeks. There was still not much blood in his pale face. His calm eyes had lost all their luster. He twitched the corners of his mouth and showed a big smile. , but there was no movement in the eyes, and the unfathomable light reflected no vitality..
He knew that deep down, deep under his eyes, in the bottomless abyss, there was a pair of invisible giant hands dragging his legs down, gradually away from the water, and his vitality was rejuvenating little by little. Dissipated in the pitch-black lake water until it completely disappeared.
This is the tumor talking.
He told himself that this was not what he really thought, and this was not his true condition. It was all just the tumor talking, the tumor called Adam..
All this is real, he is Renly, who is filming a movie called "I Fight Cancer"; he used to be Chu Jiashu, lying in bed/paralyzed for a full ten years; he played Adam , suffered from cancer and was undergoing chemotherapy; his real-life prototype is Will, the screenwriter of the movie, who successfully got rid of the entanglement of cancer..
This is all true. His thoughts are extremely clear.
However, the boundary between reality and fantasy could not be found. He was not sure if this was on the set of "I Fight Cancer". He remembered that there was a scene in which Adam went to the bathroom to vomit; he was also not sure if this was a return scene. In the memory of his last life, he remembered that the cold and biting feeling when he was dying did not come from the body, but from the soul; he was not sure whether this was his true condition, and the low-grade fever and stomach problems in the recent period made him feel uncomfortable. his body became weak.
He tried to find his true self in the mirror, but he couldn't tell which one was his true self. Renly? Adam? Chu Jiashu? Which "self" should he look for in order to regain a foothold in the track of real life?？
This is not normal. It's as if he just experienced the side effects of chemotherapy. So, this must be the tumor talking. When the tumor speaks, it's like a "Harry Potter" story, the trees can talk and the hat can Talking. They are all illusions, but they are also real..
That must be the case. He is calm and not panicked at all. He has no obsession at all during the "Buried Alive" period. He can't even tell the difference between the dream and the set. Now he is very awake, and he needs to continue to stay awake..
Opening his eyes again, looking at the familiar face in the mirror, he said, "It is now 2011, February 20th, in the afternoon, I am in Seattle, filming 'Fighting Cancer', I am an actor , I am filming, all this is filming.”
After he finished speaking, he paused for a moment and repeated all the words again. Then he paused again and looked at himself seriously in the mirror. The words "I am Renly" were still rolling on the tip of his tongue. No matter what, He couldn't even say anything. In the end, he simply gave up. He took out two pieces of paper, wiped all the water drops on his cheeks, exhaled a long breath, and finally recovered a little..
He took another step and left the bathroom, and then saw Seth and Will standing at the door..
Both of them had deep worries on their faces, and there was no concealment of their nervous expressions. They wanted to say something authoritative, but they didn't know where to start, so they could only stay in place without embarrassment or embarrassment. It looked like a friend had just told them that he had cancer. Apart from a "sorry" expression on his face, he didn't know what to do..
Renly thought this was really interesting, and the smile on his lips couldn't help but rise. "You guys go over first. I'll sit down and rest next to you for a while, and then I will follow." Now he still can't feel much strength in his limbs, and his whole body He felt exhausted, he needed to take a breath.
“Are you okay? Seth still couldn't hold back and asked cautiously, as if Renly was a fragile porcelain doll..
Will, who was standing next to him, also had a heavy face, but he did not speak, but looked at Renly firmly. The faint light revealed a trace of firmness and hope. The power of that belief awakened Renly's resonance. , between their eyes, there is a tacit understanding that only people of the same mind can understand..
“I'm fine." Renly smiled and nodded to Seth, "I just had an upset stomach, and I've taken care of it a little bit. Now, what I need most is to sit down and rest for a while, alone." Waiting for Seth After making the request, Renly took the initiative to emphasize the matter of "alone", "I'm serious, you guys go over there quickly..”
Looking at the two big guys who were unwilling to move, Renly couldn't help but smile, "This is a hospital, and medical staff are coming and going all the time. This should be the last place you need to worry about me. Don't worry, I have no plans." The plan to risk one's own life.”
Seth had a strange feeling. For a moment, he felt that it was Renly who was speaking; but the next moment, he felt that it was Adam who was speaking. That kind of vague feeling made it difficult to distinguish. This is reality. It was still a movie - he had the most scenes opposite Adam in the movie. He always felt that the scene just now seemed to have really happened in the script..
Seth scratched his head, hesitated for a moment, and then cast a questioning look at Will. After both of them nodded, they reluctantly took a step forward. But after all, he was still worried, so he looked back. But he saw that Renly walked to the bench next to him, sat down, and relaxed..
Seth felt a little more relieved. Will dragged his arm and whispered, "Let's go, he will be fine.".”
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