2402 Dark guidance
Life seems to be just a fever, like a fever. When the fever subsides and the consciousness becomes clear, then everything disappears and life ends..
So, how should we identify our own existence?？
“……I raised my arms high and shouted, let you see what I am capable of; he said, do you dare to come any closer?.”
So Renly did this.
“Round and round, round and round, we wander around the world; tell me, tell me, you suddenly wake up. I can’t decide how to express my inner feelings. What you do makes me feel that I can’t turn around and leave, and it lingers with you like a shadow.：”
“I hope you stay (Stay）.”
Simple and clear words, but the struggle and pain deep in his heart are vividly displayed: he does not understand what is happening, and he cannot describe his feelings in words. He is trapped in a rut that he cannot escape or break through. Being imprisoned like this and spinning around in circles.
this is love.
The confinement stemming from emotional entanglement, which cannot be described or expressed, is just entangled in thousands of ways, and then it is suffocated bit by bit..
This is not only love.
Self-doubt originating from the depths of the soul. How determined I was once but now so confused. The huge gap fiercely and brutally defeated all lines of defense..
The only thing he can find is that ray of obsession, like a few sparks in the darkness. If even this strand of obsession dissipates, will his existence completely disappear? Because all the values and concepts he used to define his life fell apart..
The confusion of self-doubt and the fear of self-destruction caused a cry from deep inside: "Stay"）.”
The plain singing voice does not seem to have any special power, but it tells the bitterness and sourness in an understatement. The cold and lonely piano keys are as cathartic as the moonlight, awakening a thin layer of chicken skin on the surface of the skin. The bumps and chills came one after another.
Sad and tender, desperate and light.
The entire pioneer village fell silent, and it seemed that everyone could hear their own voices: standing in the endless deserted wilderness, shouting lonely and painfully, but receiving no response..
“This is insignificant to your life. This is not greedy asking but selfless dedication. Going around and around, we wander around the world; tell me, tell me, you suddenly wake up. You are not sure how to express your inner feelings, what you have done What I did made me feel like I couldn’t turn around and leave, and it lingered with me like a shadow.：
i hope you stay.”
The eloquent narrative has no ups and downs, no stormy waves, no violent storms, but just flows slowly and tinkling like gurgling water..
But every note fell on the eardrums of the audience, beating the heart gently but heavily. The emotional restraint dragged the ankles and slowly sank, as if they were witnessing the process of drowning, but there was no struggle. No resistance, just staring numbly at his own death.
Simplifying the complex and making things easier, Renly's approach allows all emotions to fall on the narrative. Every lyric, every note has meaning, and then the emotions slowly pile up..
“Oh...the reason why I always persevere.”
“Oh...I need to heal the black hole inside of me.”
Between sighs and sighs, the gentle and light touch fell down like a pair of palms slowly supporting the face. The slight warmth revealed in the palms made the coldness of the face become clearer. Only then did he realize that he had already Tears streamed down my face; the loneliness and confusion were gnawing at my heart, and my whole person became fragmented.：
They need a little support, even if it's just a little warmth in the palm of their hands..
“The irony is that you are the one who is broken but I am the one who needs to be saved; because when the light of hope is extinguished, there is no way of knowing who is digging their own grave..”
God！
The scars hidden between the lines make every listener feel the same, deeply immersed in their own wounds and pain and unable to extricate themselves..
It seems that the fragments deep in the soul can no longer be cleaned up, and there seems to be no light in the boundless darkness. Even I don't know who hurt whom, and who saved whom. Maybe, each of them is... Dig your own grave and bury your life bit by bit.
So, what should they do? What can they do？
Just like the first lyrics: It's just a craze for a long time.
The fever subsided, they woke up, and the world was destroyed. They destroyed their once fanatical selves with their own hands. So what is the meaning of life? Who are they? What are they insisting on? What should we do? Between my past self and my present self, who is still alive?？
After a slight pause, Renly hummed lowly again, "I can't decide how to express my inner feelings. What you did makes me feel like I can't turn around and leave. It lingers with you like a shadow.".”
So simple yet so profound, so light yet so real, it hit the bridge of the nose hard, and the softest part deep in their hearts became violently entangled. They didn’t know what was wrong with them, and they didn’t know what they should do. How to express it, I am just trapped in a feeling of being at a loss..
Confused. Confused. Hesitant. Fearful. Confused..
Fear of age, questions about life, interpretation of life... From youth to middle age to old age, everyone has their own confusions. Just like the mid-life crisis, everyone in modern society has their own problems. , but no one knows the answer.
As a result, the culture of "mourning" has become more and more popular. Life seems to have no meaning. Everyone is just an island drifting aimlessly..
“i hope you stay.”
Renly called softly, and the sentence "Stay" was slowly drawn out, the pitch got higher, the emotion was released, and then it burst out..
It was not a heart-rending roar, but a helpless cry in despair. The pain slowly flowed out in the gradually rising scale, but Renly's voice was particularly controlled, gently touching the high point, He spun back down gently, fearing that a little too much force might break his balance and reveal the fragility deep inside his heart, so he carefully retracted it, that lightness, but becoming more and more heavy and powerful..
There was no showmanship or fancy, and then calmness returned again, but the voice hid a tremor, and sang again, "I hope you stay.".”
That's all the requirements.
No one knows what will happen, no one knows whether life is really meaningless, and no one knows what will happen after death..
Renly's question, like everyone else's question, has no answer. Because life is different, and everyone's questions have their own troubles and pains. There is no standard answer that can be answered. They can only explore by themselves. Some people have found it, but more people have found it. Many people spend their entire lives unable to find it.
But their only requirement is to "stay". Maybe it is a lover, maybe a relative, maybe a friend... maybe a passionate love, maybe a brave adventure, maybe a misty extravagant hope, maybe a distant dream Dream... Everyone has their own obsession, and no matter what the obsession is, they all hope that "you" can stay and be by their side, so that life can find its center and weight again..
stay.
What a humble and desperate call. I don’t even dare to make too many demands. I just hope to stay. Even if I just stand not far away like a zombie, don’t go far. This is enough. Such a trivial and small wish. , praying that it can come true.
The bitterness and sadness hidden behind the call can only be known by yourself.
And not just Renly? Every drinker present who chose the Pioneer Village had more or less their own obsessions, as well as their own confusion and confusion. Those armors and masks disintegrated little by little in Renly's singing, and then Just completely collapsed and surrendered..
“Oh...stay.”
Renly called softly, and then he closed his eyes suddenly. Before the tears broke through his eyes, he firmly kept his vulnerability on the tip of his tongue, letting the bitterness spread like this; his fingertips were quick He gathered it up and clenched it into a fist to prevent the slight trembling from exposing himself..
But the turmoil and agitation in my heart was somewhat out of control..
He remembered, he remembered everything, why he didn't like to stand on the stage and sing, because actors wear masks and show their true emotions by playing others, while singers need to take off their masks and show their truest self. ;Why Heather Cross loves performing so passionately? It’s precisely because he likes the things he hates. The song “Beast” reveals too much of his fragility and loss..
Why has he never performed in public again in these years, because the wounds belonging to Heather deep in his heart have never healed; why has he repeatedly postponed the recording of the second album, because he is afraid that Heather will never hear his singing again; those countless "Why", now I have found the answer.
Perhaps, this is what he needs urgently now: to face his true self.
No longer escaping, no longer hiding oneself behind the role, calmly facing the pain and scars of these years, Heather, Paul and Edith, and Philip, and George and Elizabeth... He is not Superman, every Every injury will leave a wound, and even if it heals, it cannot disappear completely..
He needs to show his true self through melody. As Heather said: When the musical notes are flowing, I will realize that there are some things that the darkness cannot take away from me..
Such as dreams. Such as obsessions. And... such as memories. Such as himself.
Somehow, fate once again brought him back to the pioneer village, and then he stepped on the stage again, looking for the original beginning here. Maybe this is the answer..
After the song was sung, Renly sat quietly, bathed in the spotlight, feeling the beating of his heart against his chest. At least, this was a familiar rhythm and sound, now! At this moment! All this is familiar, it seems to be the starting point of everything.
The air just settled down.
Note: Stay - Rihanna Mikky-Ekko）
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