2223 detour
“i'm always here.”
Renly's voice rang softly in her ears, thus touching the softest yet strongest part of Edith's heart, inadvertently revealing her own fragility, and hot tears slid down her cheeks, making her Her heart began to tremble slightly, and she couldn't control it even if she gritted her teeth. She clenched her fists with all her strength, but she still couldn't help shaking lightly. The sadness that came out of nowhere gripped her heart tightly. , finally... finally took off her armor, revealing the truth that she had worked so hard to hide, without any reservations..
“Renly...me……”
Edith couldn't help but choked up. It was more difficult than she imagined to admit her fragility and fear - she had been strong for so long that she had forgotten what she looked like after taking off her disguise, her vision was hazy. Renly's outline can be seen in it, his bright and deep eyes guiding his way forward like a beacon..
“Don't... Renly, don't let go... don't... I need help..”
Speak out, finally speak out, those fears and cowards, those panics and darkness, all dissipated, Edith finally bravely broke through herself, sent out her life for help, and showed all her fragility and helplessness. , just standing naked in front of Renly.
it's not easy.
It is not easy for Renly and Edith, even more difficult than when Arthur confessed his feelings to Renly on Oscar night. Because they have never learned how to express themselves, everything is deeply hidden. Deep down in their hearts, even though the Hall family has undergone earth-shaking changes, they still carefully guard their own world and never cross the long-standing line of "self-control".
until now.
“I won't." Renly said firmly, then took a step forward, slowly opened his arms, and tentatively moved a little closer to Edith, and then he could see Edith's His slightly trembling shoulders dodge for a moment, but he did not flinch, but just maintained his posture and waited patiently until Edith lowered her guard again, then he closed his arms and hugged Edith. arms.
Edith only felt that the broad wings were wrapping her up, and all the storms were blocked out. She entered a warm and calm harbor. Her panicked and restless mind seemed to finally calm down. That kind of peace made her completely lost. Throw away your armor and burst into tears.
Emotions completely overflowing.
Edith collapsed uncontrollably and cried without reservation. In the darkness that filled the sky, she finally found a glimmer of light..
Because it was so unbridled and turbulent, Edith curled up crying and her body trembled slightly, like a withered leaf in the cold wind..
That heart-wrenching cry made Renly feel sad, and his eyes were slightly red. He knew, he knew that feeling, as if he had been greatly wronged, and he wanted to cry out all the negative emotions - —After being alone for too long, but unexpectedly learning that you have a companion, the emotion cannot be described in words..
Perhaps, he could never imagine what Edith had gone through, and the only thing he could do was to be strong and become Edith's strongest and most steadfast support. He would not let go, absolutely not.
Renly hugged Edith like this, without speaking or moving, quietly letting all Edith's emotions be released at once..
Gradually, Edith became tired of crying, her spirit became dizzy, and her embarrassment of shame began to emerge. However, she was too tired and in too much pain to care about her shyness, and just wanted to have a long, long time. After a long sleep, my eyes closed like this.
When Edith woke up again, night had fallen.
Outside the car window, you can see the dim streetlights working hard to support them. The drizzle is falling through the halo, and there is a faint pattering sound. It seems that London is humming a long-standing poem, praising the beauty of the night and winter. The loneliness reveals the beauty of loneliness.
Edith struggled to sit up, and then she realized that she was lying in the back seat, sleeping for several hours, and the street scene outside was somewhat familiar - obviously it was no longer a supermarket, but Hall in Bayswater. family mansion; but Edith didn't understand why Renly came back here..
She opened her mouth and tried to ask why, but before the sound came out, Edith chose to give up. Her eyes fell on the house, quietly watching the dim light, penetrating the hazy rain curtain. reveal it——
She could clearly identify the location of each room, and her memory was still vivid, as if she had never left this simple and solemn cage; but she could not find any warmth here, let alone a sense of belonging, as if I just stayed here for one summer, just like a guest.
They all lived here before, but they never belonged here. Before, she thought that Elf belonged to Bayswater; now, she realized that even Elf never belonged here, because Bayswater Walter has no soul, it has a body. Those souls come and go here without leaving any traces. What George and Elizabeth carefully maintain is just a mirage..
Renly left. Arthur left with her. Elf left. Finally, even Elizabeth left. Now only "Baron Hall" still sticks to that empty shell, but Edith can't be sure. When Philip also turned to leave, how much glory was left in "Baron Hall"?.
Inexplicably, Edith found a sense of peace deep in her heart: because Bayswater always reminded her that this was the reason why she kept running - in some ways, it was to escape from this cage..
“You're not lost？”
Edith finally spoke, but her first sentence seemed very... unexpected, which made Renly's eyes twitch slightly while sitting in the driver's seat..
“Although I was lost for nearly four hours, I finally arrived at my destination." Renly also answered seriously, showing no mercy when it came to making a fool of himself..
Edith laughed happily, "It deserves praise." After a moment of silence, she continued, "Why did you think of coming back to Bayswater? I thought you were the one who least wanted to come back here..”
“If I say that I actually miss this place, would you believe it? "Renly's answer made Edith stunned. No words were needed, his expression said everything, which made Renly chuckle..
Looking out the car window, Renly's voice became lighter, "I miss you watching 'In Search of Lost Time' in the study until you fall asleep, and I miss Arthur secretly eating ice cream in the bedroom. I miss the days when I spilled ice cream on the bed and was misunderstood. I miss the time when the three of us secretly carried Elf to barbecue in the tool room but she actually knew everything but didn’t complain. I also miss the day when I told George about my dream plan. The situation is tense……”
Those memories, good and bad, are all still so fresh, as if they were just yesterday..
Edith's smile also rose. It could be seen from her blurred vision that she was also immersed in memories, memories that she thought she had forgotten but actually existed..
“I will not change myself for George and Elizabeth, but I must also admit that my days in Bayswater have made me who I am today. Although I chose to leave Bayswater, it does not mean that I need to forget Bayswater. Watt.”
Renly spoke calmly, and Edith's thoughts began to become more profound..
People are always like this, trying to forget those painful memories and keep those good memories; but people forget that those difficulties and setbacks are also part of their lives, and it is those struggles and ups and downs that shape who they are now - being People who defeat difficulties eventually become mediocre, and then shift the blame to others; while people who defeat difficulties achieve themselves step by step, and those pains become part of themselves..
Bayswater has left too many negative memories, but these memories themselves are part of them, including George and Elizabeth. The same is true for the memory of Chu Jiashu..
Battlefield memory, the same is true for Edith.
Edith's mind calmed down like this - not that she found the answer or was at peace, but that she finally began to face her wounds. Even if she was afraid, even if she was scared, even if she was panicked, she did not flinch and truly began to look at those sufferings. , she still didn’t know what she should do, but she was willing to face her own helplessness, just like facing Bayswater..
“Renly, I'm sorry." Edith said without warning..
“What? "Renly didn't know why..
Edith didn't explain - she was apologizing for her unscrupulous remarks in the afternoon. She condemned Renly, thinking that Renly didn't understand anything at all and was just talking sarcastically... But those were just passing on the anger, She shouldn't be like this.
“Although I don't know the reason, I accepted it." Renly continued, with a slight smile on his lips, "It's just that this time it won't be the same next time..”
“Ha." Edith also laughed out loud, "The big devil is still the big devil, I will never challenge the majesty of the big devil easily, don't worry." Edith joked, her voice regained its vitality, It seemed like things were finally back to normal, but both Edith and Renly knew that it wasn't..
“Renly, I want to go back." After a moment of silence, Edith spoke again..
There was no beginning or end, but this time Renly understood: Edith decided to return to the front line, "Have you made up your mind?" He still didn't stop Edith after all..
“Well." Edith nodded lightly, "...I don't have the answer. To be honest, I still don't have any ideas, but I know that the answer is there. I need to go back and find my own answer. Maybe, I will never None can be found; maybe, I may never come back; but... I must go back. I need to go back.”
After many twists and turns, the answer in my heart finally emerged..
Comments