2222 lingering fear
“……Nothing happened, nothing, everything was fine.”
This was a lie, a lie that even Renly didn't believe: things had happened, things were different, nothing was good now, there was no certainty that the future would be better, there was no certainty that there was even a future. ...This is a lie like a mirage.
But apart from lies, Renly doesn't know what he should say or what he should do. This is the only way in his mind now: repeating the "placebo" words over and over again, hoping to help Edie. Silk injects a glimmer of hope, hoping to awaken Edith's softness, hoping to regain Edith's trust..
Renly always remained patient, cautiously approaching Edith inch by inch, fearing that his movements might be a little too extreme and might alarm her. Then she would turn around and run away, far away, disappearing forever. He can't go back to the life he knows.
“It's okay, everything is okay.”
Renly forced himself to repeat. Even if there was a slight tremor in his voice, even if there was a slight blockage in his chest, and even he began to doubt himself, he still did not give up, just like lighting a candle in the harsh winter. Like a torch, it tried weakly but stubbornly to light up the entire night, guiding Edith to find the way back..
“Edith, it's Renly. I'm here. Everything is okay..”
Finally, Edith slowly raised her head, like a frightened fox, and used her peripheral vision to explore left and right. After making sure that there was no crisis around her, her eyes rested uneasily and hesitantly on Renly. , the eyes of the two people communicated quietly like this.
Renly didn't waver at all, he just faced Edith's gaze firmly and resolutely, conveying the warmth deep in his heart with his eyes.：
Believe me. I am Renly. I have always been here. I have never left..
Time seemed to be frozen like this. Edith stared at Renly for a long time, seeming to be testing the environment and looking for the direction. It took so long that the passage of time lost its meaning. But Renly never wavered or gave up. Finally, Edith's shoulders finally relaxed and she slowly opened the car door..
Huhu.
Huhu.
The cold wind of winter rushed in, erecting an invisible wall between Renly and Edith, which seemed insurmountable; but in the end, Edith took the first step, and Renly My efforts and persistence finally paid off, and things finally started to show signs of improvement..
this is a good thing.
Renly tried to step forward, but he was afraid that his actions would alarm Edith again. In the end, he could only stand still and asked Edith's opinion with his eyes: Can I step forward? Can I reach out? Can I help you? That gentle yet persevering look in his eyes tirelessly sent out questioning signals, always remaining patient, and he would never give up even if it took a whole day..
Edith could sense Renly's stiffness, as well as the panic and fear hidden behind his eyes, and a sweet smile broke out at the corner of her mouth, "It is my honor to be able to make the invincible Renly look so panicked..”
But Renly didn't follow suit and smiled..
The brighter the smile, the sadder Renly's mood becomes, because he knows that the pain behind the smile may never be discovered..
Renly just stared at Edith quietly, which made Edith feel a little uncomfortable. She suppressed her smile slightly and said, "I'm fine." Edith forced herself to straighten her back and took the initiative to face Renly. He looked at her and said calmly, "I'm serious, I'm fine, it's just a conditioned reflex. You know, the things left on the battlefield cannot disappear in a short time. It's just an instinctive reaction. I really It's okay.”
Renly doesn't believe it.
But Renly didn't speak, he just stared at Edith calmly..
That kind of calmness made Edith begin to feel uncomfortable. She tried to be calm, but she couldn't hold it back in the end. She lowered her gaze to hide her panic. She didn't like Renly's gaze, and then her whole person began to feel uncontrollably irritable. Get up, "No! Don't look at me like a weakling! I'm not! I'm not a loser! I'm not a weak one! I don't need sympathy and help! I! Don't! I don't need to be saved! I'm not a victim ! Do you understand? Renly? Do you understand? I don't need saving!！”
The shouts one after another vented all the pain deep in her heart, and Edith's layers of protective armor fell apart..
Renly couldn't bear it.
An impulse in his heart drove Renly to step forward. He wanted to give Edith a hug and tell her that everything would be fine. But he knew he couldn't..
Because he can't be sure that things will get better; and because Edith refuses to be a weakling.
Renly forced himself to stand there and stared at Edith quietly, waiting for her to vent all her emotions before he said, "Even a warrior needs his teammates, right?？”
Edith's shoulders stiffened slightly, and the excitement left over from the roaring and roaring paused slightly, but she still buried her face in her hands, neither speaking nor moving..
Renly tried to remain calm and showed a smile, "Not only the weak need help, everyone needs it. Even the strongest warrior needs the support of his teammates and the help of backup. Everyone from birth to death In this period of life, we are alone at the beginning and end. At other times, we all need partners. We will encounter different people and things, and we will encounter different difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes we can solve them by ourselves. Sometimes it doesn't work. Accepting help does not mean weakness; knowing that you are powerless but still refusing help is true cowardice..”
“The sight and vision of others will always exist objectively, and we are powerless to change it; however, only by identifying ourselves as victims will we allow ourselves to evolve into weak people..”
“Edith, I am standing in front of you now. I have never regarded you as a weakling, just like you have never regarded me as a traitor..”
Even if Renly left the Hall family, even if Renly stood on the opposite side of George and Elizabeth, even if Renly attacked Chris Evans... Edith never regarded Renly as a traitor. Never before, This should not be the case now and in the future. Because he has never changed..
After finishing speaking, Renly did not continue to persuade. Instead, he became quiet and stood there, watching Edith quietly. He knew that she needed time and space..
“Don't..." Edith's irritability still took over, "Don't pretend that you know everything, don't pretend that you are like God, don't! You...you don't know anything! You never know what that feels like? Because you just stand under the spotlight and enjoy all the applause and cheers！”
speak without hesitation.
Edith didn't even know what she was saying, but the words just came out of her mouth..
“I...I can't control myself, do you understand? I can't control it at all! I don’t know what’s wrong with me, and I don’t know what I should do. Sometimes I don’t even recognize myself. I don’t know the answer. Do you understand, I don’t know! I feel like a fool now, I don’t know anything and I can’t control anything, so what should I do?？”
“I don’t know what to say, I don’t know how to communicate with Chris, I don’t even know how to get along with you. I feel like a traitor for leaving the front line and killing innocent civilians. I stayed there, I left my colleagues there, I was the only one who survived, I betrayed them.”
“I don’t know what I should be thinking about either! I don’t know how I should face London either! I don't even know how to find the right way in the parking lot! who I am? Who am I? I don't recognize myself now! Sebastian, tell me what I should do！”
Edith held her head in pain, falling into deep torture, with a sense of madness in her bones..
Renly's nose couldn't help but tingle slightly. This was the real Edith. After she survived and returned, the darkness that had never been released finally burst out. The bloody scars were exposed in front of her eyes. The raging cold wind seemed to Edith may be destroyed at any time - some things cannot be overcome through hard work and struggle. The complexity and difficulty of life are never black and white..
Renly didn't know how to help Edith, but he knew that only when he faced the wound could he possibly be healed. Avoiding would not solve the problem..
“Edith, I'm here." Renly said firmly, no matter what the problem, he and Edith would face it together..
Edith slowly raised her head, staring at Renly with a blank and confused gaze. The helpless light in the depths of her eyes finally revealed its original appearance, but the focus and focal length still failed to condense, and she searched in vain. Can't seem to understand what Renly means.
“I'm always here." Renly repeated again, the simplest words have unparalleled power, just like Edith supported him at the beginning, now it is his turn to support Edith. Until this moment, The meaning of "family" has taken root in the blood of the Hall family..
From Edith to Arthur to Philip, and finally back to Edith, the seeds of family affection in the Hall family finally found the soil..
The tears in Edith's eyes slowly condensed, and then they slipped away from the shackles of her eyelashes. With a choked voice, she said in a low voice, "Renly...I..." paused slightly, but she persisted in the end despite the difficulty. went, "I need help.”
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