1424 Dialogue with self
“The filming of "Breaking Drummer" was going on in an intensive and orderly manner. Everything on the set was going on smoothly and step by step. The collapse and loss of control that people were worried about did not appear. Not only that, Renly's performance was becoming more and more enjoyable and better. As the story gets deeper and deeper, Damien is always able to find more sparks in Renly, and the chemical reactions on the set gradually become more interesting..
The whole shooting process is more like a kind of brainstorming for artistic creation, rather than the application of stereotypes on the assembly line..
Damien always has countless wild ideas, trying to capture different picture fragments with different lenses and different angles; and Renly is always able to interpret Damien's ideas, and even go further to deduce his own Andrew's colors then unknowingly guide the progress of the story.
Fortunately, the worries of Renly's friends did not come true. This made everyone feel a little relieved and returned to their work and life one after another. However, Paul still stayed in New York. He had just ended " I was on vacation during the filming of "Violent Street", so I simply took my daughter Meadow to the Big Apple to enjoy an East Coast summer..
Everything seems to be on track.
But Renly knows that this is all an illusion.
With the filming of "Exploding Drummer", the feeling of restraint is becoming more and more serious and distinct. It is like standing in front of a floor-length full-length mirror. Outside the mirror, I look fine and there seems to be no problem; but behind the mirror, However, he was tightly tied up and turned into a mummy. No matter how hard he struggled, it was of no avail..
What's even worse is that in the eyes of others, he is just what he looks like outside the mirror, safe and sound, while the posture in the mirror seems to be a pure illusion. It's like a watermelon, which looks perfect on the surface, but is completely different. After I opened it, I found that it was starting to rot inside..
This kind of bondage is the bondage of performance, and it is also the bondage of Andrew..
This is a very confusing and chaotic feeling.
Under Fletcher's pressing step by step, Andrew is escaping into the darkness step by step, becoming more and more cold-blooded, cruel, rough, and violent. His whole person is like a bloodthirsty beast. Rushing along the edge of the cliff, you don’t know when or how you might fall into the abyss.
That invisible sense of restraint seemed to be dragging his limbs, unable to break through the speed or control the power. His whole body was like being stuck in mud. The more he struggled, the more trapped he became. Subconsciously, he wanted to break through. He broke free and wanted to hit him, but the strong reaction force of the restraint gradually made him suffocate..
Somewhere along the way, the double jump technique and the 400 hits have made progress. He seems to be within reach, but he is always unable to go further. Every practice and every hit falls into a rut. This suffocating and depressing feeling is making him become increasingly angry and irritable, and at the same time, he is becoming more and more confused and confused..
That sense of restraint seems to be the only force he is fighting against. But the problem is that he has no way to distinguish now whether it is a barrier that is preventing him from making technological breakthroughs, or a protective umbrella that is preventing him from falling into the abyss.？
At the same time, he had no way of distinguishing whether this was a barrier of calm that was preventing him from making breakthroughs in his acting skills again, or a final insurance that was preventing him from confusing reality and illusion.？
It feels so weird, not only the blurring between acting and reality, character and self, but also the oppression and restraint that can be felt in both the imaginary world and the real world, which may be good or bad. Yes, it might be correct, it might be dangerous. That kind of gray emotion that was difficult to distinguish tightly bound every nerve in him, and he gradually began to be out of breath..
It's like...if the description isn't completely accurate, it's as if Chu Jiashu had just woken up in the previous life..
The long sleep after the car accident finally passed. He still couldn't open his eyes, but his body had slowly regained consciousness. His hearing and touch seemed to have opened a small window. Then he began to try to move his body, but the consciousness in his brain had already been conveyed. After receiving the command, his body could not feel any movement. He began to struggle, he began to resist, and he began to exert force.……
Irritability and panic gradually came over him. He couldn't calm down, and he didn't want to calm down..
When he realized that he had lost control of his body, the energy that exploded out of anger and frustration was even more turbulent and rough than the volcano that had accumulated energy for many years. The whole world began to shake. But no matter what, his efforts, resistance, and unyielding are all in vain..
Then more irritated. More angry. More depressed..
Faced with such a situation, either break and then build again, successfully break down the barriers and regain a new life; or return in vain, truly realize that all your efforts are just an ant stealing a living, become mentally numb, and then...or just muddle along, For the rest of my life, I will either blame others and be resentful of others, or I will find another way and shine brightly..
Such a feeling and experience will not become simpler after experiencing it once. After the restless and annoying emotions accumulated to the extreme, they were finally vented.——
Andrew lost control. He kicked over the jazz drum and raised his fist, preparing to die with Fletcher. He threw Fletcher hard and started beating Fletcher regardless. My eyes can no longer find the shadow of reason, everything has become blurry.
This is not /ricide of the father, this is still just resistance. Out-of-control resistance, resistance that overthrows authority, standing up for resistance, this is the last step before /ricide of the father.
The whole scene was filmed smoothly. From tension to confrontation, from intensity to details, all the performances were perfect. Damien was so excited that he shouted repeatedly and even rushed out of the performance hall, crying and howling outside. , celebrating the completion of the filming of the important turning point scene.
But after the performance, Renly was panting heavily. Not only was the suffocating and oppressive feeling not relieved, but it was still burning like a flame in his chest, and the hot and scorching flames were constantly impacting him. All the lines of defense, but he was tightly and tightly imprisoned in place. It seemed that he could only watch himself burn up and turn into ashes..
Drowsily, Renly sat alone in the corner of the practice room, facing the corner of the wall, like a child thinking about his past in front of the wall. After the volcano erupted, his physical strength and energy fell into a state of exhaustion; but that kind of restraint The feeling still hasn't disappeared, I'm just exhausted, unable to resist anymore, unable to fight anymore.
The exhaustion originating from the depths of the soul makes the brain feel dizzy and plunged into darkness..
In a daze, that vague figure appeared again in the second world in his mind: a figure trapped on a white hospital bed like a mummy..
Gradually, that picture is getting closer. Slowly, slowly, getting closer. Those facial features, those expressions and that face become more and more clear. After the focus and focal length are completely adjusted, Chu Jiashu’s appearance Appeared in front of him, which immediately made Renly panic.：
Chu Jiashu is him, Renly is him, both of them are him, and he is standing next to the hospital bed now, so who is the person lying on the hospital bed?？
By some strange coincidence, he stretched out his right hand and lightly touched Chu Jiashu's right hand. With a "swish" sound, he entered the body and was tightly trapped in it. It was a familiar scene. It showed up again——
He is that mummy, the mummy who is trapped in place and bound all over, the mummy who struggles and resists in vain. It is him, it has always been him, it has always been him, it has never changed..
Ryan Stone is him, LeVeon Davis is him, Andrew Neiman is him, Chu Jiashu is him, and Renly Hall is him... Those completely different faces quickly Switching alternately, finally they all merge into one and become the same face: the face reflected in the mirror and bound like a mummy..
He is struggling, he is resisting, he is desperate, but he is completely powerless to resist.
what's going on？
What the hell is going on？
He thought that he had said goodbye to the past, that he had regained a new life, that he had cut off his obsessions, and that he had opened up the future... But why was he still stuck where he was? After going around in circles all his life, he finally returned to the starting point. So, were all his efforts in vain?？
it's not fair！
He began to struggle, struggling unyieldingly. The anger, unwillingness, irritability and pain made him crazily try to resist, but his soul was tightly imprisoned in the body, as if it was stuffed into a glass bottle. The ants inside, no matter how they resist, they still cannot break through..
The soul began to burn, all the energy was released, the pain reached the extreme, the pain nerves in the mind were in danger, the mouth was opened wide, but not even a sound came out, and a "beep" came from the ear. The sound was as if the electrocardiogram was stretched into a straight line, and then the whole world disappeared into darkness, and I couldn't feel anything anymore. All the pain and bitterness disappeared, as if the whole person was in the boundless dark universe. floating in the middle.
Not Ryan Stone’s form, but Renly Hall’s form.
In that endless vast universe, he saw himself. To be more precise, Renly saw Chu Jiashu. The two stood face to face, like two sides of a mirror.：
The one on the outside has dark brown curly hair, light brown eyes, and a tall body that outlines the etiquette of a gentleman; the one on the inside has short black hair, black eyes, and a slightly thin body that exudes a bookish air. Two pictures They have completely different faces, but they have the same soul. They just look at each other quietly, and their every move, every smile is so similar..
This is him, that is him, both are him. So, who is he?？
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