Surviving as a Barbarian in the Game - Episode 581
581Tuesday opening (2)
My head suddenly hardens..
Even when I woke up in the body of an unfamiliar barbarian and had to go through a coming-of-age ceremony without knowing my own name, I couldn't continue thinking as if my previously well-functioning brain had been pickled with alcohol..
The silence lasted for a while like that..
“…….”
Misha looked up with eyes full of fear but as if she was expecting something, and I, unable to bear those eyes, barely opened my mouth..
“……That's right.”
A meaningless muttering that is neither positive, negative, nor questionable..
After a long silence, the only thing I could say was 'I guess so'. It's been a long time since I felt this pathetic..
But thanks to that, my frozen head started to return to normal..
‘Yes' and 'No'’.
First of all, what I have to do now is not choose between the two..
If what Misha said just now is true.
No, it must be true because there is a broken trust at work.…….
That's why there are parts I don't understand even more..
“then.”
“……huh?”
“then… Why did you draw such a line with me back then??”
It was a question I had for a very long time..
Why did Misha push me away that day? At that time, there was room for interpretation that she just did it because she didn't like me as a man.…….
If you listen to it now, it doesn't seem like that at all..
“ah… that…….”
Soon, the answer to the question was heard through Misha's slightly opened mouth..
“That was when you were an evil spirit... Oh no… Because I found out that I was a player…….”
“player……?”
When I tilted my head, Misha asked carefully..
“I heard you don't like being called an evil spirit... no?”
Well, I've never thought about it, but the player makes a lot more sense than the evil spirit..
But is this the story you heard from Baekho Lee??
If that's the case, I feel bad again for some reason..
“that… If you don’t like it… I won't do it. sorry…….”
I returned to the main topic and continued the conversation..
“…Okay, so what does that have to do with finding out that I'm an evil spirit? good… Did you think that you couldn't connect with an evil spirit, regardless of your feelings??”
I tried to suppress my emotions as much as I could, but it inevitably came out.?
Misha heard me and screamed in horror..
“Well, it's not like that.!”
I was so embarrassed that I remembered my old self..
Misha suddenly raised his voice and continued speaking, avoiding eye contact as if he was embarrassed by his appearance..
“only… … . It was just difficult to watch... … . You become weak because of me…….”
“That might need some more explanation..”
When asked for details, Misha explained the situation in a somewhat hurried voice..
To summarize, it was a simple story..
“I thought it was you who pretended to do your ‘duty’ by changing appearances with Charon, and you did it because you thought such actions would not help me? Because one day, my identity may be revealed.?”
“Yes…….”
Misha lowered his head like a student who had made a mistake, but his eyes were focused on me..
“But maybe… I misunderstood……?”
Huh, how should I answer this??
First of all, strictly speaking, it was GM who changed Charon's face to the golden mask that day. It was necessary to create an alibi to avoid suspicion of evil spirits..
but…….
‘It's not wrong..’
I have never once fulfilled my ‘duty’ in a holy place. The first reason was that as a modern person, such things are uncomfortable, and the second reason was Missha..
I somehow felt like I was committing a big sin, so I did that..
“It wasn't a misunderstanding... thank god…….”
Misha breathes a sigh of relief as if he heard the answer through my expression. Suddenly, I realized that the trust had been broken, and there was not much time left..
Now I wonder how much this means…….
Even though it may seem a little cowardly, I wanted to use this opportunity to clear away all my doubts..
“So is that the end??”
“huh……?”
“perhaps… I think there might be another reason for pushing me away.…….”
Immediately, Misha looks embarrassed as he looks at me with his tongue trailing off..
Yeah, there's something more..
When I told him to speak quickly, Misha eventually opened his mouth with a bright red face..
“that… You know…….”
“…….”
“Because I can't even have children…….”
For a moment I felt dizzy.
Even if the ogre hit me with a wooden club, I didn't think it would have a bigger impact than this..
“kid……?”
“Oh, don't get me wrong! It doesn't mean that I can't give birth, it's just that the child I give birth to is not a barbarian.…….”
I understood in my head what it meant..
This refers to the racial characteristics of barbarians..
Only barbarian women can give birth to barbarians..
However, I only understood the context of the words, but I still did not understand..
“What does it matter whether my child is a barbarian or not??”
When I said this in an astonished tone, Misha flinched..
“uh… … ? It doesn't matter?”
That's natural.
I'm not really a barbarian.
Whether my child is a barbarian or a Red Cat, I will give all my love to that child..
But Misha could not easily believe me..
“lie… Don’t all men care about that?…….”
Well, it might be a natural thought for Misha, who was born and raised in this world..
but.
“The world I lived in was different..”
“but… Aren’t you also a noble now…? … . Boo, I’m sure everyone will think it’s strange and there will be gossip.—.”
“stop.”
I'm done with this topic at this point..
I already felt awkward talking about my child, and I was somewhat embarrassed..
“stop talking about this.”
“ah… Yes… … . Yeah, right? Yeah, you still don't like me…….”
“To be precise, before answering.”
“……then? What is your answer... place?”
“Before answering, start with this.”
I checked the remaining time one more time and said.
“Is there still something you're hiding from me??”
Misha answered without hesitation in a relieved voice..
“doesn't exist.”
Yeah, that's really what it's all about.
They said there must be something to hide, and it's almost ridiculous that I didn't believe it..
click.
Soon the second hand of broken trust reached its end and the light faded..
“then… Now the answer… Will you do it??”
For some reason, it was difficult to make eye contact..
Misha was looking at me as if nothing in this world was more important than my answer..
‘I have to answer…….’
Although the broken trust has already been extinguished.
Even if it was working, it wouldn't have meant much to me..
“my answer is…….”
I honestly told you my truth.
***
It's like I'm under a spell.
It was probably due to a very vicious curse spell..
[Bjorn Jandel. me too… I like you.]
[Bjorn Jandel. me too… I like you.]
[Bjorn Jandel. me too… I like you.]
No matter how many times I pour cold water on my head or bang my head against the wall while wearing a steel helmet, that voice keeps ringing in my ears..
Oh, and what Bjorn said at the end.
[……That's right.]
It wasn't positive.
There was no denying it either..
However, Erwen felt deep relief in that voice. If what she felt was true, Bjorn was relieved at that moment..
Misha Karlstein, in response to that ungrateful woman.
“……………….”
What happened to those two?.
Also, what was the meaning of ‘I see’?.
As Erwen now, even if she thought about cancer, it was something she couldn't figure out..
As soon as she heard Bjorn's voice in the room, she left the scene as if running away..
“……………….”
Why did that happen?.
Why did I have to run away without listening?.
Although she regretted it later, it was unclear whether she would act differently even if she could go back to that moment..
Because I was afraid even at this moment.
Because the moment I heard the truth, I felt like something terrible and irreversible was going to happen..
“Erwen Fornacci di Tercia.”
So she didn't go to Bjorn right away and ask him. And she thought and delusional alone for a while, and then she headed here as if she was running away..
“How long are you going to be like that??”
Amelia Lane Wales.
The room of a woman who was a marauder from Noark, but met Bjorn and is living a new life under the name Emily Raines..
“If you have any concerns, tell me quickly. If it means listening to me, I will do it..”
“………it's okay.”
Erwen eventually turned away, and Amelia did not hold her back, simply telling her to come back when she felt like talking..
However, Erwen had no intention of coming here again..
The reason I came here today was just by chance because I was out of my mind for a while..
“…….”
Erwen went back to her room again and suffered alone. And finally came to a conclusion.
That can't be possible.
It makes no sense for Bjorn to have such a relationship with that Redcat woman..
Oh, what makes you worse than that woman??
After coming to that conclusion, I felt much more at ease and was soon able to leave the room..
but…….
“uh……?”
1What she saw when she came downstairs was a man and a woman sitting at a table having a lively conversation..
“Argh… Don't laugh! Isn’t that what you asked me to make? It's been a while since I made this, so I might make a mistake... … . Because it was a labyrinth, there were no materials… … . however… Don't worry, it's very salty?”
“Don't worry. Because it's delicious enough.”
It seemed like the woman had cooked something reminiscent of food for the man. She stopped at the stairs and as she watched the scene in a daze, she suddenly made eye contact with the woman..
“Ah, Erwen.…….”
When our eyes met, the woman's expression stiffened awkwardly for a moment and she began putting food on her plate..
“Would you like to eat before dinner? that… I make a lot so I have some left over.…….”
For some reason, that sight brought back old memories..
“ah! If it's because of that steel helmet, take it to your room.—.”
“I do not need.”
Erwen coldly cut him off and then climbed the stairs again. It was a good thing he resisted the urge to throw the plate..
Clap.
Erwen soon climbed the stairs, opened Amelia's door, and went inside. Amelia had left a little while ago and when she came back she had a questioning look on her face, but that wasn't important to her right now..
“Amelia Lane Wales.”
Erwen spoke the woman's real name, which he normally did not call..
The time when I left Bjorn and studied with my sister..
At the time when the Red Miao woman treated her like a guest, as if she were the hostess..
“…I need help.”
I couldn't go back to that time.
***
After Erwen went up the stairs again and disappeared, Misha looked at me with a worried face..
“I… I guess it's okay……?”
“I'll tell Erwen well, so you don't have to worry. and… Good job.”
“…huh?”
“I meant to give you food. It wouldn't have been easy for me to do that even though I knew I hated you..”
“Ah, that… … . It's no big deal. Because I can't stay like this forever... … . We'll have to keep staying together…….”
Misha scratches the table with a puzzled look on his face. Even that sight seemed proud to me..
I just told you to stop acting like a fool and get along well with other members of the clan, and I was already trying to keep my words..
Well, apart from that, it did get a little awkward..
“…….”
“…….”
A silence that is far from natural, but does not feel uncomfortable. In it, I remembered my last conversation with Misha..
Thinking back on it, it was a bit pathetic, but my answer at the time was ‘I don’t know.’.
[I don't know... … ? what does that mean?]
It's definitely not that I don't like it..
The remnants of the emotions I had back then still remain..
However, it is literally just a remnant.
[Because a lot of time has passed since then…….]
From that day on, I tried countless times to let go of my feelings for Misha, and I actually succeeded..
I don't know what will happen in the future, but the feelings I have right now are more towards my colleagues than towards men and women..
Amelia, Erwen, Einar, Raven…….
If any of the four had been in Misha's situation, they would have had the same difficult time and acted similarly..
Anyway, this isn't the important thing..
[Ha, haha... Well, then there’s nothing I can do about it.…….]
After hearing my honest story, Misha cowered as if hurt, but ended the situation in an adult manner..
[still… It's okay to be friends?]
[uh?]
[Right? Well, even back then... Because it started as a friend…….]
[Ah, uh-uh…….]
For your information, at that time, I made a stupid noise and answered, 'Yeah, right?'.
Even thinking about it again, it was a pitiful scene that made me want to throw away anything I could find..
But what can I do?.
It's already happened.
“Did you eat everything? Should I bring you more??”
That was when I emptied all the food on my plate in silence..
“Mr. Yandel, you were on the first floor? I was already looking for it.”
Bersil, who appears at the front door as if he's been out since morning, brings news..
“I received a call from the Count of St. Red. It looks like the research on the tombstone has finally been completed. They tell me to come there..”
“The research is over... Do you even know what happened??”
“I don't know, but I think I failed..”
“is it… … . Well, you'll find out if you go and listen. Then let's go.”
“Yes… Bye.”
As soon as he got up from his seat, Misha greeted him, and Bersil, who was looking at this, tilted his head..
“two minutes…….”
“Is there anything you want to say??”
“…no. Nothing.”
I chuckled at Bersil’s words..
Well, there is nothing.
“When you come back, can we talk for a moment??”
“That's right.”
It's obvious what I'm trying to say when I come back..
There will be concerns about Misha, who has a traitorous streak, and there will also be people who naturally want to share what happened in the community yesterday..
‘I think that's when I can tell you that you don't have to worry anymore.…….’
Afterwards, I headed to the mansion where the dimension monument was located, and the village chief was waiting for me on the first floor..
“You came.”
“Goodbye, now say what you have to say..”
When I pressed him to get straight to the point, the village chief informed me that the 10-day study of the dimensional tombstone had failed and that he had decided to leave the village today..
“Right today……?”
“I was wondering if it was possible, but since I completely failed, I can't waste any more time..”
Well, that's right.
Because I didn’t expect to take this long of a break in the first place..
“So I wanted to hear your opinion before I leave. I have no intention of getting involved in your exploration. Where would you like your next destination to be??”
I must have rested enough without intending to..
Now it was time to go exploring again..
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