Novels online

Surviving as a Barbarian in the Game - Episode 580

580Tuesday opening (1)

Not even once.

Is there really such a perfect person who has never done anything wrong in his life?.

Misha Karlstein thought it couldn't be that way..

Even great saints will make mistakes at least once in their lives. Even if the intentions were good, there may have been cases where things went awry and resulted in bad results..

For sure… They probably hurt someone too.

Yeah, that's right, I can't help it..

Even such great people will make mistakes at least once, and if you're a half-penny like me, it goes without saying.—.

“me…….”

Misha Karlstein quietly muttered to himself..

“What on earth are you doing?…….”

It was a routine that had been repeating for several days..

Wouldn't it be better if we fought against monsters instead?.

There wasn't much I could do while spending the day locked in my room alone..

I wanted to just not think about anything and live like a dead person, but that wasn't something I could do just because I wanted to..

So I thought and thought for a long day..

Thoughts were always different, but always similar..

Sometimes I blamed someone, felt disgusted with myself, and sometimes, like today, I thought of ways to justify myself..

Oh, of course the end of the thought was always the same..

“Let's leave.”

Let's leave Clan Anavada.

No, I didn't officially become a member of the clan in the first place. So it will be easier to leave.

So, when this exploration is over and we return to the city, let's leave. Let's disappear from Bjorn Jandel's side and never appear before her eyes again..

He too... would hope for that.

Conclusion reached hundreds of times after hundreds of considerations.

The moment he reached that conclusion again, Misha Karlstein crouched down and clutched his chest with both hands..

“iced coffee…….”

It hurt.

It really hurt, beyond feeling tight in my chest and not being able to breathe well..

It was so painful that I thought if I just closed my eyes and stabbed something sharp, it would ease the pain..

However, Misha Karlstein could not translate that imagination into reality..

It wasn't because I lacked courage..

Just she knew.

‘That's not allowed…….’

That's not the end he wants.

All the memories you had with him will fade darkly and turn into terrible memories that will torment him..

‘Dwalki…….’

Suddenly he came to mind.

A noble wizard who died after saving everyone's lives in the labyrinth. Misha knew the feelings the wizard had for her..

I didn't know it from the beginning, but I heard it from the dwarf warrior Hikuro Murad a long time after Dwarki left..

He said he always loved me…….

At first I couldn't believe it. If you really had such feelings, why did you keep it from yourself?.

Even to the moment when the last candle goes out.

I didn't understand at all.

If it had been me, I would have definitely taken the last opportunity to reveal my hidden feelings..

However, Hikuro, who heard her question, answered.

As if asking something obvious.

[Isn’t that friend’s idea obvious? I guess she didn't want to remain a dark shadow..]

Inconclusive and speculative answer.

However, she was convinced by that..

Of course, I was convinced that he might have done that, but I couldn't truly sympathize with him..

At least until today.

“this… It must have been a feeling…….”

Strictly speaking, you and Dwalki are different..

He sacrificed his life to save everyone, and he is just struggling under the weight of his mistakes and trying to figure out a way to escape..

If this wasn't a labyrinth in the first place.

If she hadn't even had any hope that he would forgive her, she would have run away a long time ago.—.

Knock knock.

At that time, a voice was heard beyond the tightly closed door..

“It's me, Misha. Let's talk for a moment.”

It was Bjorn.

His visit was filled with both joy and fear. But she tried to calm down and do what she had to do..

Because I couldn’t show you like this now..

Wash your hair and quickly wash your face. And then she quickly cleaned up the messy room..

Fortunately, I spent my time in my room doing nothing, so there wasn't much to clean up..

“Can I come in for a moment??”

As soon as I open the door, the person I haven't seen in a while strides into the room..

For some reason, my heart was pounding..

Exciting-

Why did Bjorn come??

I'm just worried about me?

There won't be any strange smell in the room.?

Just a moment ago, I was drying up like a withered flower in this dark room, but for some reason, from the moment he arrived, my body came back to life..

***

“Before we talk, I'd like to turn this on first, can you give me permission??”

It would have been nice if he had said something trivial and said he had come to see his face, but Bjorn got straight to the point as soon as he entered the room..

An object was held in his thick hands..

It was something I was familiar with..

broken trust.

I felt uncomfortable because it felt like the name on that object was proof of our current relationship..

But I was also happy.

this is an opportunity.

He who turned away coldly that day gave me a chance..

A golden opportunity to undo all the mistakes and go back to the way it was before..

……And maybe Bjorn actually wants to go back to the way it was before..

“then… it's okay. start.”

That's why Misha had no intention of missing that opportunity..

Of course, how did we get to this point?.

Let’s answer honestly whatever Bjorn asks..

As I clenched my fists with such determination, Bjorn began to ask questions..

“After I disappeared from Parune Island, I happened to follow Baekho Lee.?”

Starting with questions that had already been answered before, questions that could only be answered with 'yes' and 'no' were poured out, and Missha answered all questions with the truth..

Bjorn now is like the watch repairman I saw before..

Like a watch repairman who took out all the parts and looked for them to fix a watch whose cause was unknown, Bjorn tried to check everything, even the smallest details..

“Baekho Lee... I didn't do anything bad to you?”

“evildoing……?”

“that… For example, I just touched your body.……”

“……Oh, it wasn't there! That kind of thing! I really swear!”

There were questions that were both unfair and happy for some reason, but they weren't important..

“Did you really not know that when you use the revival stone, you lose your memories??”

“I did not know…….”

“Then why did you hide it from me??”

“As I said then... … . Because I said something bad would happen if you found out.…….”

That was the part where Bjorn's emotions became intense that day..

At this time, he was furious and asked if he only believed Lee Baek-ho's words and kept it from him..

Misha, who suddenly remembered that memory, quickly shouted and continued before Bjorn could say anything..

“Well, I thought I had to break even.!”

“…Main shrine?”

“Well, I didn’t know at the time that you would lose your memories… … . No, even if I knew... … ! 'Cause it's better than you dying…….”

“So I believed that?”

“……Baekho Lee, he is strong. And somewhere it's completely broken.”

This was the real reason why I accepted Lee Baek-ho’s proposal..

Because I don't know what he'll do if I decline the offer. Maybe that's what he meant by 'bad things' happening..

So, for now, I received the Stone of Revival and returned to Bjorn. I thought there was no harm in having it since it was something that could save a loved one's life..

but…….

“after… … . So that's it?”

There's one more thing left that I haven't said yet.

How on earth should I say this?.

Isn’t it really the end of everything if I say something?.

I don't know, but Misha closed his eyes tightly and opened his mouth..

“So, I decided to hand over the information in exchange for the Stone of Revival..”

“…information?”

“I told you to keep an eye on me…….”

Misha opened one eye slightly and looked at Bjorn's expression. His expression still showed more embarrassment than anger..

“Oh, don't get me wrong! They haven't given me any information yet. Because we broke up in the first place and have never met again..”

“What if you came to visit me? What were you going to do back then??”

“…I don't know. At that time, I wanted to just get over the situation and think about it later..”

After Misha answered, it seemed like too much of an excuse, so he added hastily..

“but… I think I gave it to you. Of course, with trivial things that everyone knows,……!”

“Hmm…….”

After hearing Misha's non-excuse, Bjorn let out a long breath and touched his chin..

Fortunately, he didn't seem that angry..

I just nodded a few times as if I had heard the answer carefully and then moved on to the next question..

And how long has it passed?.

“Last question.”

Soon Bjorn looked into Misha's eyes and said,.

“Is there something else you're hiding from me??”

An all-encompassing question.

does not exist.

Everything was said honestly.

I had to say that, but for some reason, my lips just twitched and I couldn't make a sound..

“…….”

For a moment, a silence that cannot be expressed with the word "uncomfortable" falls between the two, as if the relationship is slowly getting better..

Bjorn muttered only two words..

“okay…….”

“…….”

“There is one..”

A chant that sounds resigned, as if he had mentally prepared himself..

Misha, out of breath, tried to speak quickly..

no.

That's all I've said so far.

There is absolutely nothing that I am hiding.

I tried to say that, but I couldn't get the words out of my mouth..

Why? Was that thing broken??

Misha, who really had nothing to hide, was truly embarrassed..

but…….

‘ah…….’

Soon she realized.

‘‘Misplaced trust’ is normal. It's not broken, and it's still working properly right now..

Still, there is only one reason why no words came out.

Because there was still something she wanted to hide from him..

“word…….”

In the suffocating silence, Bjorn opened his mouth again..

“What you can't do is?”

It felt instinctive..

The moment you remain silent on this question, everything is over..

“…There's nothing I'm hiding regarding Lee Baek-ho..”

“then?”

Misha took a moment to catch his breath as he looked at Bjorn's eyes, which seemed to have not yet let go of his expectations for her..

“Then there's something hidden on the other side.?”

“huh…….”

Even though I nodded as if I was fascinated, my mind was full of hesitation..

Is it really okay to say this?.

While he was gone, his side was already filled with much better people..

Also, I have a promise I made with them.…….

It might be much better for Bjorn if I just disappear..

“me…….”

Yet my mouth opens freely.

The lips, which just a moment ago could not be moved even if I applied too much force, open and let out my sincerity, stained with long-standing regrets..

“I lied to you before, Bjorn..”

“……?”

Bjorn's eyebrows arched at the word lie..

Come to think of it, Bjorn has always been like that..

He hated it when someone deceived him the most..

Besides, isn't this a situation where you have to say what you're hiding?.

Yeah, I mean…….

‘This is not cowardice.’

I continue speaking, erasing even the last regret..

This was originally what I wanted to say on Farune Island..

I tried to kill my emotions for him, but I tried to open my heart because I thought he might die..

“I said I thought it would be better for you to just be colleagues..”

Well, it just so happened that I ended up saying this after such a long time..

“That's a lie.”

When you think it's too late, it's the earliest.

Didn’t you once say something like that?.

“When you think about it… At that time, I couldn't give you any answer.?”

Soon Misha raised her head, made eye contact with him, and spoke as clearly and carefully as possible with her pronunciation..

“Bjorn Jandel. me too… I like you.”

The day I first checked his feelings, the words I couldn't answer because I wasn't in a hurry..

No answer came back.

But she continued talking.

“It was like that the day you said that too.”

“Even before you said that.”

“and…….”

Misha spoke clearly in a voice that sounded like an ant crawling..

“It's still like that now…….”

It was the only thing she was hiding from him..

***

Sometimes there are days when I feel strangely strange..

It's a bright and sunny day, but for some reason, dark clouds gather and it looks like it's going to pour down rain..

Today was that kind of day for Erwen..

“mister! You woke up… uh?”

I ran excitedly early in the morning and came across an empty room..

From then on, Erwen felt an inexplicable sense of foreboding..

I searched all over the mansion for his whereabouts, but Bjorn was nowhere to be seen..

“What do you mean, leader? well… … . You didn't specifically tell me where you were going... … . Wouldn't you like to stay in the mansion??”

“…is it so? I looked for all the other rooms, but I couldn't see them..”

“Hmm, then I guess he went out for a while to run some business.…….”

Anavada's navigator Auyen Rockrobe reassured her that it wouldn't be a big deal, but Erwen's lips kept getting dry..

Actually, there was one room that I hadn't checked yet..

‘Misha Karlstein.’

The reason I didn't check her room was simple.

That's because I didn't think Bjorn would be in there. Even recently, it felt like something was off between the two..

After that, he stayed alone in his room, acting depressed every day as if he were protesting..

But it was really incomprehensible English..

plod, trudge.

Even though I thought there was no way Bjorn could be here, why did I naturally head here?.

As the navigator said, it is much more reasonable to assume that he went out on business..

Why do I keep feeling ominous that I'll be here?.

plod.

In the midst of such unpleasant emotions, Erwen arrived at her desired destination. A room located in a corner of the 3rd floor of the mansion. the door was tightly closed.

I thought about knocking, but I thought it would be awkward if Bjorn wasn't here, so I stopped..

‘Because I don't feel the magic.’

There are no voice controls or sound barriers.

In other words, if you want, you can hear all the sounds resonating inside..

Erwen opened up her hearing, which was intentionally turned off during everyday life..

It was that moment.

“Bjorn Jandel. me too… I like you.”

A familiar voice came to her ear..

I immediately recognized who the owner of the voice was, but I couldn't easily understand the content..

how… What are you saying??

I listened even more, wondering if I might have heard something wrong..

“It was like that the day you said that too.”

“Even before you said that.”

“and… … . It's still like that now…….”

I still couldn't understand it in my head.

After all, isn’t this a confession of love?.

I have never done this before in my life…….

‘I don't even know the topic…….’

It was absurd. There was also anger.

Isn't this the woman who disappeared as soon as the news of her uncle's death came, instead of taking revenge?.

Bjorn, who was so innocent and kind, couldn't overcome her old feelings and took care of her, but she still hasn't forgotten what happened..

but…….

[Bjorn Jandel. me too… I like you.]

The words I heard for the first time keep ringing in my ears..

It was only then that Erwen noticed the strange part..

‘me too……?’

Clearly, the Red Cat beastman said ‘I like it too’..

And ‘me too’ is a word used to mean agreement when hearing the same thing..

If you say that, that means…….

‘……You said it first?’

Is it because it’s such an unbelievable story??

Rather, my once heated mind suddenly became cold..

As the heat in my head subsided, I began to see the situation more objectively..

Somehow I laughed.

eat.

It was all that woman's delusion..

I'm delusional and having a conversation with my uncle..

As evidence, no conversation has been heard in the room since the last sentence..

‘still… It's pitiful.’

It was a strange act that would be difficult for the average person to understand, but in fact, Erwen had also done something similar when he was emotionally distressed, so he could understand it to some extent..

‘after… So where on earth did you go?…….’

Soon, Erwen turned his back, as if he had come for no reason and heard something he couldn't hear. And she even restored her hearing, which had just been wide open..

No, I was trying to turn it around..

“……That's right.”

A familiar voice was heard from inside the room..