Chapter 1616
I’m prepared to cut it off. (1)
Jongli Gok silently stared at Chung Myung. Chung Myung also accepted his gaze without flinching. Jongli Gok spoke.
“I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”
Chung Myung, as if expecting those words, leaned back in his chair.
“Exactly what it sounds like. You can’t admit it or reflect on it. That couldn’t have been possible…”
Jongli Gok frowned and tried to say something, but Chung Myung was quicker.
“Because it wasn’t your choice to make in the first place. You didn’t even exist back then. Isn’t that right?”
Jongli Gok’s face darkened. There was no agitation, only silence.
Chung Myung didn’t need to interpret the meaning of that prolonged silence.
“Isn’t that so?”
Jongli Gok looked up at the ceiling.
It wasn’t his choice. Thus, atonement was not his to give.
To others, it might seem like an easy task. But it’s not as simple or easy as it sounds. It means denying a century of history, spitting on everyone within that history, shaking the foundation of the sect, and bearing all the disgrace.
And the price would fall on Jongli Gok. What he tried to protect would instead pour its scorn upon him.
Could Jongli Gok walk that path? For something he didn’t even choose himself?
Without looking at Chung Myung, Jongli Gok opened his mouth.
“What is it that you want to say?”
Chung Myung spoke with a hint of a bitter laugh.
“I’ve already said everything I wanted to. This is just me venting my frustration.”
“Venting?”
“Yes.”
Chung Myung, after a moment of silence, lowered his eyes and spoke bitterly.
“I tried to understand. But in the end, I couldn’t. No matter how many reasons I came up with, it doesn’t change the fact that you all are just cowards without the courage to reflect on your actions.”
“…”
“So, I ignored it.”
Chung Myung involuntarily gave a bitter smile.
“Because if I don’t think about it, I can just bury it. Then I don’t have to discuss it and show hostility. But I realized something.”
“What did you realize?”
“That it’s nothing but avoidance.”
For a brief moment, Jongli Gok’s eyes faintly trembled.
“Since it’s a knot that can’t be undone, I could only leave it alone. Even if that knot eventually cuts off the blood flow and causes a bigger wound, as long as I think it’s okay, it’ll be okay.”
Chung Myung laughed softly, and Jongli Gok found that sound unbearably heavy. For reasons unknown, his fingertips tingled. Perhaps it was an emotion he could never truly understand.
Jongli Gok, hiding his agitation, glared coldly at Chung Myung. He couldn’t afford to lose his composure now.
“Doesn’t that mean you’re also a coward?”
Though the words were sharp, Chung Myung surprisingly nodded in agreement.
“Yes. I’m a coward too, as you say. I don’t have the resolve to condemn, nor the courage to forgive. I probably… I probably will never accept the two words “Jongnam Sect” for the rest of my life.”
Chung Myung paused for a moment, biting his lip as he glared at Jongli Gok.
“But at least I’m not as much of a coward as you.”
“Hwasan Geomhyeop…”
“I mean I’m not the kind of despicable person who, even knowing something is wrong, just turns his head away, lacking the courage to face it, and instead shifts the burden entirely onto the next generation.”
Jongli Gok’s face hardened coldly, but his eyes couldn’t maintain that icy demeanor. Inside them, anger, resentment, and frustration were brewing.
“Are you calling me despicable?”
“Aren’t you?”
“Easy for you to say. Aren’t you just seeking Jongnam’s power?”
With emotions getting the better of him, not only Jongli Gok’s gaze but his words also became sharply pointed.
“If you had any sincerity, you wouldn’t bring this up in a situation like this. How can I be sure that you’re not bringing this up now just to exploit Jongnam’s strength and use it for your own gain, and that this isn’t just a convenient provocation?”
Usually Chung Myung would have shown killing intent at those words. Even if it wasn’t his own choice, coming from the side that had committed the wrong, it was understandable. But he didn’t.
“We went to Anhui.”
Chung Myung’s calm voice echoed.
“With the disciples of Jongnam.”
Jongli Gok narrowed his eyes at the unexpected words. He must be referring to Jongnam’s disciples like Jin Geumryong and Lee Songbaek.
“What of it?”
“They fought together. Those Jongnam guys and Hwasan.”
Jongli Gok was silent for a moment. Chung Myung glanced down at his teacup and asked,
“Do you know how that was possible?”
“…No.”
“Because I wasn’t there.”
Chung Myung’s words were truly heavy and exceedingly bitter.
“And because you weren’t there.”
A matching bitterness flickered in Jongli Gok’s eyes as he understood the meaning behind Chung Myung’s words.
“They swung their swords together and threw themselves to save each other.”
“…”
“I didn’t decide to stay out of it. I planned to intervene if things got really dangerous. But… I couldn’t. I couldn’t move a single step. Do you know why?”
Jongli Gok seemed to understand. He probably couldn’t go. He would feel like an impurity intruding there. The moment he intervened, everything would become muddied and unclear.
Chung Myung asked bitterly.
“What do you think would have happened if you and I had been there?”
The question hung in the air with no answer. But both of them knew.
They would have been divided again, under the names Jongnam and Hwasan. They could never have stood side by side. They would have been trapped by the boundary that was impossible to cross.
“Do you understand what I mean? You and I. We are the ones standing in the way. Even knowing that the knot will continue to tighten around their necks.”
Jongli Gok looked at Chung Myung with an expressionless face. However, inside his tightly closed lips, he was nervously biting the inside of his cheek. After a moment, he forced himself to speak.
“If it’s as you say, shouldn’t we just leave it alone? If those of us trapped in the past die and disappear, won’t things eventually flow again? If the result is good, then what’s so wrong with us avoiding this for now…”
“Are you really going to pass it on like that?”
“What do you mean?”
“Just as you took on a burden for a sin you didn’t commit, are you going to pass that burden onto them too? Adding the burden you’ve created?”
Jongli Gok’s eyes trembled faintly.
“Are you going to force your feelings and all of this onto your disciples, and then onto the next generation of disciples? Force it upon them again?”
“…”
“Are these the teachings of Jongnam?”
Jongli Gok fell into thought. Of course, it wasn’t that he accepted Chung Myung’s words or fell for his provocation. Rather, one thought did occur to him.
‘Since when did I start hating Hwasan?’
Why was he so desperate to crush a fallen sect secluded on a barren mountain? Before the appearance of Hwasan Geomhyeop, Hwasan had never once been able to resist him.
Was that hatred… really Jongli Gok’s?
At that moment, Chung Myung let out a faint laugh.
“It’s laughable. A sect that should guide its disciples down the right path… is instead forcing them to hate each other. Making those who originally had no grudges hate each other and teaching them that it’s right. It’s a filthy act, isn’t it?”
Jongli Gok closed his eyes. Chung Myung twisted his lips.
“But… I’m not much different either.”
Of course, Chung Myung’s hatred would not disappear until the moment he died. But there was no need to pass it on to others.
“I just realized something. If I don’t cut it off, then next time, someone else will suffer the same pain. When I looked beyond the shells of Hwasan and Jongnam, there was nothing there. Now, I’m trying to strip away those pretenses.”
Jongli Gok, who had been listening silently with tightly closed lips, spoke.
“Didn’t I tell you? Human nature is ultimately about dividing oneself from others and hating others and ourselves. No matter what you do, eventually they will once again draw their swords against each other under the names of Hwasan and Jongnam. You should know that well, too.”
“At least that would be their hatred.”
“…”
“It’s hatred you’ve built yourself, and a conclusion you’ve come to on your own. There’s no reason to spout nonsense about maintaining hatred even in the face of such a crisis.”
Chung Myung’s face looked somewhat complicated. However, since he had already made up his mind before coming here, his voice remained calm.
“I don’t know either. What they will create. What they will build. Maybe the result will be more dreadful than now. But at least… they can choose that result themselves. Beyond the rotten relationships that those who died lacked the courage to resolve and passed on to the next generation, there’s something unknown to us.”
Chung Myung turned around.
“I’ve said all I have to say.”
“…Hwasan Geomhyeop.”
“Now, the choice is yours. Not Jongnam’s, but yours. I’ve extended my hand, now it’s your turn.”
Jongli Gok slammed the table with a somewhat angry face. His rough voice poured out.
“What! What do you want me to choose? What do you want me to do?”
“…”
“Do you want me to bow my head to Hwasan and admit we were wrong? Do you want me to shout to the whole world about how we were worse than beasts?”
Jongli Gok’s eyes were bloodshot.
“What on earth do you want me to do?”
“That’s for you to think about.”
Chung Myung replied without even turning his head. His response was cool, contrasting sharply with Jongli Gok’s voice filled with indignation.
“I’ve already conveyed all my intentions. The rest is up to you. This is no longer mine. Just giving you this opportunity was not easy for me.”
Without hesitation, he walked over and grabbed the door handle. At that moment, Jongli Gok’s question halted him.
“Why me?”
Chung Myung turned around. Jongli Gok stood there with an expressionless face. It was as if the outbursts he had just made was all a lie, showing no sign of agitation.
“Do I look like someone who would be swayed by such words? Do I look like someone who could be easily manipulated?”
“…”
“If I choose all that, I’ll gain nothing and instead drive myself into a pit. Do you think I wouldn’t be able to make such a simple calculation?”
Chung Myung spoke briefly, without any particular expression.
“Of course not.”
“…Then why me?”
None of his predecessors took responsibility. But should Jongli Gok bear all that burden just because he was born in this era and became the Sect Leader of Jongnam? For such a trivial reason?
He didn’t expect an answer. It might have just been a lament.
However, Chung Myung responded to that lament.
“Even if you were an incorrigible villain, unworthy of comparison even to the Evil Sects, you are still the Sect Leader of Jongnam.”
He laughed as if surprised that he could say such a thing.
“And, you’re an adult, aren’t you?”
“…”
“That’s all there is to it.”
Thud.
Chung Myung left, and the door closed.
Silence descended on the room, leaving only Jongli Gok behind. His gaze lingered endlessly on the closed door before slowly shifting to the low table.
A single low tea table. Two teacups placed on it.
The teacup on Chung Myung’s side was full, but Jongli Gok’s teacup was empty, resembling a dried-up field.
“An adult…”
That brat.
Jongli Gok couldn’t bear to look at the table any longer and tightly closed his eyes.
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