Chapter 1167
Have I really been wrong? (2)
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I am 63 chapters ahead on my Patreon and Buymeacoffee. So today I am posting 10 chapters here on my blog.
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“Ah…”
Unintentionally, a groan escaped from Baek Cheon’s lips. He hadn’t even imagined that such words would come out of Beop Jong’s mouth.
Beop Jong, the leader of the Thousand-year-old Shaolin, held a position that made it unimaginable for him to utter such words. Even if Beop Jong truly felt that way, expressing it was not suitable for someone in his position.
However, the main reason for Baek Cheon’s anguished groan was that he found himself sympathizing with Beop Jong’s words.
Saying that a genius forcing an ordinary person into the same methods is simply another name for violence resonated with him.
Baek Cheon, perhaps more than anyone else, could empathize with that, because he had intensely felt it.
Chung Myung’s leadership style was not just harsh – it was cruel in a way that defied normality. Baek Cheon, living under such conditions, understood it deeply.
If he showed even a hint of struggle or discomfort in his training, his disciples, who looked at his back, would crumble first.
Ogeom saw Chung Myung’s back and followed him, but what those walking together on that difficult road saw was not Chung Myung’s back, but Baek Cheon’s, who is enduring the same harsh training.
Thus, no matter what complaints he had, Baek Cheon kept his mouth shut, enduring it all, following Chung Myung’s back.
However, precisely because of that, Baek Cheon couldn’t help but sympathize with those words. No matter how much effort he put in, no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t catch up, and instead, his goal seemed to slip away further. Baek Cheon, the one who had possibly felt the most despair, couldn’t help but empathize, for he too was unable to escape the sense of hopelessness.
Why hadn’t he thought about it before?
Perhaps this was wrong from the start. Maybe he was pursuing an unattainable illusion. Could he confidently say that he hadn’t followed something untouchable and would end up ruining himself?
Yet, now Beop Jong was expressing the same thoughts that Baek Cheon had never intended to voice.
Beop Jong was saying the words that even Baek Cheon himself hadn’t dared to utter.
“What is that…”
Even Chung Myung seemed at a loss for words. He stared blankly at Beop Jong, his attempts to speak trailing off.
“Do you think what I said is wrong?”
Beop Jong, who posed the question, lowered his head silently.
“Looking back, no one in at Maehwado had made a wrong decision. If there was anyone who made a mistake, it was only Namgung Hwang, who had done something that should have never been done in the first place.”
Namgung Dowi bit his lip. Beop Jong looked at him with eyes full of remorse. Yet, Beop Jong didn’t retract his words or apologize for what he had said.
“To sacrifice others to atone for his mistakes was not a choice I would have made. If that were the case, I might have been evaluated as righteous person, but I would have had to pay with the blood of others in return.”
“I…”
“That’s right. However, you saved Namgung without shedding blood. Yes, it was just that difference between us. We each made the best choices from our own perspectives. Look here, Hwasan Geomhyeop. Do you really think I had to head to Maehwado, sacrificing Shaolin and Kongtong?”
Chung Myung grinded his teeth.
“Don’t you find such excuses feeble?”
“….”
“In this world, there are plenty of those who know they lack the ability but still risk their lives for the right cause. If you’re only going to do what you’re capable of, then the term ‘Orthodox Sect’ should have been abandoned long ago.”
“That might be true.”
With chanting Amitabha Buddha, Beop Jong looked confidently at Chung Myung.
“So, let me ask. If the same situation were to happen again, would you still head to Maehwado?”
“Why, stating the obvious…”
“How many disciples of Hwasan are you willing to sacrifice for it?
“I…!”
In an instant, energy surged from Chung Myubg’s body. Those are words not fit for human mouths.
However, Beop Jong, facing Chung Myung’s outburst of anger, merely asked with indifferent eyes.
“Ten? Thirty? Or maybe fifty?”
“…Abbot.”
“Let’s change the question.”
Beop Jong’s eyes turned to Ogeom, standing behind Chung Myung. Also to Hye Yeon, who was biting his lip next to them.
“What about everyone here? If they all died, would you be satisfied, thinking it was a splendid death since you saved Namgung clan?”
Chung Myung fell silent, and in that moment, Baek Cheon felt it.
Throughout, in a few cases Chung Myung kept quiet during arguments, but that was mostly waiting for the other party’s reply. Rarely did he close his mouth because he had nothing to say.
But now, unmistakably, Chung Myung is unable to respond to Beop Jong’s words.
“No, you couldn’t. It would have been impossible. Perhaps you would have become a beggar by now. You must know that all of this is the result of your choices.”
“…”
“Then I’ll ask.”
Beop Jong opened his mouth with a firm voice.
“How can you blame others for not doing what even you couldn’t do yourself?”
“…”
“I’m not accusing you of hypocrisy. It wasn’t hypocrisy. You surely must have thought about accepting Hwasan’s sacrifices while heading to Maehwado. That must have been sincere.”
Everyone nodded at those words.
How vehemently did Chung Myung oppose going to Maehwado? Wasn’t everyone well aware of it?
“But let’s be honest. Even while heading to Maehwado, deep down there must have been confidence that you could resolve things without significant sacrifices. Am I wrong?”
“…”
“Yes, that’s you. That’s who you are.”
Beop Jong smiled faintly.
It becomes clear when you let go of everything. Recognizing yourself as an ordinary human, understanding that Chung Myung sees things differently. Understanding what kind of person he is.
The only reason he couldn’t understand Chung Myung was just one.
‘Hwasan Geomhyeop sees things as if he has experienced what he has never experienced before.’
And he does his calculations in realms others cannot comprehend. What may seem recklessly daring to others is undoubtedly a vivid attainable image in the mind of Hwasan Geomhyeop.
How can an ordinary person understand such an individual?
“But I don’t have that confidence.”
“…”
“So answer me. Even if you lose half of Hwasan, would you really head to Maehwado? Do you truly believe you can continue living like this to uphold that ‘righteousness’?”
Chung Myung’s face twisted.
He couldn’t hastily provide an answer. He knew that this answer would become his shackles. If he were to answer here and now, every time Hwasan faced a similar situation, they would have to charge into bloody battle without caring for their own lives.
For Chung Myung to become a hypocrite was nothing. After all, Chung Myung had never lived worrying about such matters.
But it wasn’t Chung Myung who was being shackled by this conversation – the shackles were on those listening. Even if Chung Myung intended it, they would not stand by and watch him fall alone into the abyss.
“That’s Hwasan’s way.”
“Are you saying it’s wrong?”
In response to Baek Cheon’s question, who spoke insted of Chung Myung, Beop Jong slowly raised his head.
“Could it be wrong? Excellent. It’s truly remarkable. Just endlessly enviable. I too have wished for Shaolin to stand in such a position my whole life.”
“…”
“But I can’t. I just can’t. I am too lacking to do so. Well then, Dojang, let me ask you, am I truly so wrong?”
Baek Cheon bowed his head in silence.
Beop Jong, too, is human. How can one label another wrong, someone who avoided a situation where he had to sacrifice his own disciples to save others? No one would dare utter such words.
While one could criticize Shaolin for actions not befitting their position, it wasn’t fair to solely blame Beop Jong as an individual for making the wrong choice.
Rather, being from Hwasan, he couldn’t help but find the thought of sacrificing his Sahyeongs even more horrifying than sacrificing himself.
“I wasn’t wrong. To obtain this answer, I’ve let go of too much.”
A fleeting hint of regret passed through Beop Jong’s calm eyes.
“But… Hwasan wasn’t wrong either. In fact, it was right. More so than me.”
“…”
“So, isn’t it ironic? When neither of us is wrong, we’ve been criticizing each other’s mistakes.”
“Are you getting to a point?”
“Listen, Hwasan Geomhyeop.”
Beop Jong sighed.
“Try to understand me a bit.”
“…”
“I cannot be someone like you. But why do you blame me for not becoming what you are? That’s too harsh on me too.”
“…”
At that moment, Jo Geol, who had been holding back all along, raised his voice.
“Abbot, what you said is wrong.”
Beop Jong turned his head to look at Jo Geol.
“Why?”
“Well, everything you said is correct. But if you acknowledge that, isn’t there another choice?”
Everyone looked at Jo Geol in confusion. The idea of another choice didn’t occur to them.
“If the Abbot admits he’s inferior to Chung Myung, instead of bringing Hwasan into Gufailbang, why not let Gupailbang join Cheonumaeng? Then Chung Myung can move Gupailbang as he sees fit.”
“…”
“Wouldn’t that solve the problem? Why should someone smarter and better at strategizing adjust to the Abbot? Isn’t it better for the sake of everyone?”
For a moment, some nodded in agreement with those words.
Realistically impossible, but wasn’t that still a better alternative?
However, upon hearing this, Beop Jong cast a chilling gaze at Jo Geol, a gaze not seen when he debated with Chung Myung.
“Do you truly believe that’s right?”
“Yes! I do!”
“I hesitated to say this, but since you brought it up, I’ll speak my mind.”
“…Yes?”
“Who is pushing Hwasan Geomhyeop into this predicament?”
Jo Geol flinched for a moment. The voice was too stern.
“Hyun Jong.”
Sect Leader bit his lip.
“The Elders.”
Hyun Young and Hyun Sang lowered their heads.
“And all of you here.”
“…”
“So far, you’ve admired the countless achievements of Hwasan Geomhyeop. You’ve simply marveled at a hero achieving what you couldn’t. So you must have thought, ‘Just pretend to be unable to resist this stubbornness. Then, Hwasan Geomhyeop will be right as always.’”
“…”
“I risked my life, so it’s fine, right? I’m ready to die, right?”
Beop Jong glared at everyone with fiery eyes.
“Listen carefully. When this situation repeats, when Hwasan Geomhyeop repeatedly takes control, what you’ll face won’t be heroic deaths, but!”
Beop Jong’s voice echoed through everyone.
“Hwasan Geomhyeop, who kept you alive, will turn into a cold corpse. That’s the reality you’ll have to face one day.”
Everyone vaguely knew this fact, yet the revelation that poured from Beop Jong’s mouth pierced through their hearts.
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