Chapter 1778
Then, let’s check this out. (3)
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“…”
After hearing the whole story, what words could possibly be said?
Jin Songwon’s voice was simply calm, as if he were retelling someone else’s story he had heard.
Even so, it was conveyed clearly enough. The misery, the grief, and the human bitterness of having to let go of everything that Jin Songwon must have felt that day.
Therefore, Baek Cheon couldn’t say anything; he just stared blankly at the person before him – a man so haggard that even the mask covering his face couldn’t fully hide how worn out he was.
“After that…”
When Jin Songwon calmly began to speak again, Baek Cheon flinched without realizing it.
It was the first time he felt words without much hostility pierce his chest so deeply.
“It’s probably not much different from what you’re expecting.”
“…”
“A dog barks when told to bark, and crawls when told to crawl.”
No, there was not even a trace of hostility or self-mockery – not even disappointment or emptiness.
Perhaps what Baek Cheon was facing was nothing more than the shell of someone once called Jin Songwon, that had already been hollowed out long ago.
Baek Cheon asked cautiously.
“Is that why you stood in their way?”
“…”
“Because you chose to be a dog, because you already vowed not to think for yourself?”
Jin Songwon’s gaze darkened. Baek Cheon bit his lower lip firmly, then started pouring out questions again.
“Is that why you blocked the paths of Zhuge and Moyong families? Just because Jang Ilso ordered it? Did you really not know how many would die as a result?”
Baek Cheon’s voice grew more heated, but Jin Songwon didn’t even bat an eye as he continued to look at him.
“It was a war that could have ended then. If only…”
So much bloodshed might have been avoided.
Perhaps Baek Cheon, too, might have remained a proud disciple of Hwasan, dreaming of the future.
Unlike his current state, with his wings clipped.
They had destroyed all those possibilities.
“Why on earth!”
Baek Cheon’s voice grew even louder, his breath quickened slightly from anger.
Only after his breathing began to slow did Jin Songwon open his mouth.
“Let me ask you one thing. Between saving one person and a hundred people, which would you choose?”
At the sudden question, Baek Cheon furrowed his brows.
“What are you talking about?”
“Answer me. If you could only save one of the two, which would be the right choice?”
Baek Cheon opened his mouth to respond. But he simply mouthed the words, unable to say anything, and then closed his mouth again.
Jin Songwon watched him silently for a moment before letting out a quiet laugh.
“Upright. So upright. Almost enviably so.”
“…”
“Is it my turn to answer? Yes, I knew what we were doing, how many deaths it would cause. It would have been better if I didn’t know, but I certainly did.”
They stood in the way of the reinforcements who had come to aid Shaolin.
They obstructed the heroes who would defeat the Evil Sects. Perhaps they rendered useless the one move that could have greatly changed the fate of the world – the move that Beop Jong had arranged by mobilizing everything he had.
At that time, they had the opportunity to choose again. That day was an opportunity for Beop Jong, and perhaps it was also an opportunity for them.
But once again, they chose to submit.
“Why is that? Well… humans think, but dogs follow. Or perhaps even the lowliest creatures cherish their own offspring. What other reason could there be?”
“…It’s thousands of lives.”
“Yes, that’s right. It was.”
Jin Songwon chuckled softly. A sense of futility that hadn’t been evident a moment ago appeared on his face.
“Jang Ilso is truly thorough. The children are still trapped in Yunnan. They’re beyond our reach.”
“…”
“The moment we defy their orders, all those children will die. No, they won’t even be allowed to simply die. They’ll experience every pain that exists in this world before dying – all just because they caught my eye and joined Diancang.”
Jin Songwon’s gaze sharpened slightly.
“In comparison… the ones who died alongside Shaolin there, at least went to fight of their own will, so weren’t they better off?”
“How can you say that now…!”
“Then?”
Jin Songwon retorted sharply. Blood vessels had surfaced in his eyes. It was not mere anger but deep-seated resentment.
“Are you saying I should have turned a blind eye? That I should have clicked my tongue and tell them to accept their bad luck? Should I have just shaken my head, saying there’s nothing I can do, even if children whose bones haven’t even fully grown are torn to pieces and killed?”
“…”
“What should I have done?”
“Sect Leader.”
“Answer me. What should I have done? What could I have done that would stop you from blaming me now?”
Baek Cheon bit down on his lower lip hard.
Even though he knew the answer, he couldn’t bring himself to say it. If Baek Cheon were placed in that position, would he have been able to carry out the solution that came to his mind?
If Baek Cheon were in Jin Songwon’s shoes, if those held hostage were Yu Iseol, Yoon Jong, Jo Geol, or Tang Soso – the fellow disciples of Hwasan, whom he wouldn’t hesitate to protect even at the cost of his life, no matter how many times.
If they had fallen into the clutches of the enemy, could Baek Cheon attack Sapaeryeon for the greater good, disregarding them? Would he have the courage to decide on their miserable deaths?
‘I…’
Maybe he could. At least when it comes to the Five Swords. Even if it meant Baek Cheon taking his own life in bearing responsibility for that choice, he would never have let his fellow disciples become the glory of Sapaeryeon.
But if they were children?
If the targets were children who hadn’t even picked up a sword themselves, could he really make the same choice then? Would it be right to place the burden of a warrior’s responsibility, something he and Chung Myung had discussed countless times, onto those tiny hands?
“Thousands of lives and dozens of lives. They are not the same, can’t be the same. I know that better than anyone. But… what’s the use of that? After all, I am no longer human. I cannot become human.”
Could he really blame them? Baek Cheon’s face was stained with despair.
‘It’s twisted.’
Until not long ago, his world was upright and simple. A world where right and wrong were absolutely divided. Living in it might have been difficult, but it wasn’t painful.
But at some point, that boundary collapsed. A world where he couldn’t distinguish right from wrong seemed to suck him in like a swamp.
Seeing Baek Cheon’s troubled face, Jin Songwon let out a slight laugh.
“How unexpected.”
“…….”
“How utterly detestable, I must say.”
The remnants of deep emotions could be felt in his casually thrown words.
Baek Cheon glared at Jin Songwon.
“What do you mean?”
“You must have already guessed what would become of Diancang when you chose the Tang Clan over us.”
Baek Cheon’s gaze wavered for a moment.
Jin Songwon began to chuckle. His hollow laughter scattered emptily within the desolate tent.
“Come now. Why are you making that face as if you know nothing? In fact, you knew it all along.”
“I…”
“You already knew that countless people of Diancang and Yunnan – even the innocent children merely wearing Diancang’s robes – would be torn to pieces by their hands. You knew it and yet lived just fine. So why are you suddenly pretending to be so regretful?”
Baek Cheon’s fingertips trembled.
“Why?”
Jin Songwon’s face twisted. Even though it was covered by a mask, it was visible – a distortion that made it unclear whether it was laughter or tears.
“Are you displeased because those who should have vanished in a distant place, unseen and unheard, have appeared and are digging up what you had buried?”
“What are you saying…”
“Aren’t you?”
Jin Songwon’s laughter continued endlessly, as if it would never stop.
“Then why that expression? It’s a sight to behold. If I had a mirror, I’d have shown you your own face right now.”
“…”
“Don’t worry. I’m not trying to blame you. No matter how much of a wretch I may be, someone no longer considered human, I’m not shameless enough to blame Hwasan and Cheonumaeng, with whom I had no acquaintance. It’s just…”
Jin Songwon’s gaze pierced through Baek Cheon.
“Seeing your face – as if you’re suddenly agonizing over a fact you already knew – it seems I still have enough humanity left to feel disgust. Or maybe that’s just how people are.”
Jin Songwon stood up from his seat.
Baek Cheon couldn’t do anything. He couldn’t stop him, nor could he question him.
Because there would be no answer anyway.
The one who was called Jin Songwon had already died long ago. What was here was merely resentment of the already dead Jin Songwon – not even allowed to rest in death.
Even so, there was one thing he wanted to ask. Baek Cheon’s voice halted Jin Songwon, who was turning away.
“Why… did you help me?”
“…”
“If you resent me so much, then why?”
Jin Songwon stood still for a long time without answering.
After an unbearably long silence passed, a faded voice leaked from his lips.
“Well… perhaps it’s because I thought that your situation and ours aren’t so different. Or maybe it was just a whim.”
“…”
“But then again, perhaps…”
Jin Songwon’s words did not continue further.
After he left, Baek Cheon was left alone in the tent. He forcibly lifted his unresponsive hand and ran it down his face.
Step. Step.
Baek Cheon trudged along as if chasing Jin Songwon and pulled aside the tent flap. As soon as he escaped the suffocating and dark tent, the harsh sunlight pierced his eyes. The sky was still clear, and the sun was as dazzling as ever.
They came into view – people who had plopped down here and there, as if tossed aside carelessly.
Before entering this tent, how had Baek Cheon seen them? And how did he see them now?
Much had changed. Yet objectively, nothing had changed.
‘Perhaps, just maybe…?’
Jin Songwon had said nothing.
But Baek Cheon felt as if he had heard the words that followed.
– Perhaps I just wanted at least someone to understand.
Jin Songwon expected nothing from Baek Cheon.
He hadn’t asked him to stay, nor had he told him to leave. He simply conveyed his message and then left.
So the rest depended entirely on Baek Cheon’s will.
After gazing outside the tent for a long time, Baek Cheon slowly sank down on the spot. Like the others who had faded away, he gradually settled into that place.
❀ ❀ ❀
“….Are you Dalai Lama?”
Chung Myung’s eyes, which had momentarily flickered with doubt, quickly regained their composure.
In the past, on the way back from the Northern Sea, he had encountered a boy with a youthful face.
He recalled that there was something different about him – so much so that even Chung Myung couldn’t treat him carelessly. That boy now stood before him as a fresh young man, still holding fragments of the past.
‘Did he say something about the Three Asankhya Kalpas*?’
The words he had spoken, as if entranced, still remained in Chung Myung’s memory like a brand.
He had thought they might meet again someday, but he never imagined they would cross paths in a place like this.
“Did you come looking for me?”
Dalai Lama slowly nodded.
“Yes, Siju.”
“……Why?”
“I have much to discuss with you. It’s the fate placed between you and me. However… there may not be much you can understand right now.”
Chung Myung’s eyes narrowed slightly.
“What are you…?”
Dalai Lama let out a short sigh and looked straight at Chung Myung. His infinitely deep gaze seemed as if it would draw Chung Myung in at any moment.
“So first, I would like to discuss your regrets.”
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