Ranobes » Who Let Him Cultivate Immortality » Chapter 1: Today Is A Suitable Day For Traveling, Not For Cheating » Comments

Comments 20

  1. Offline
    tichna1469
    + 0 ⋅ 0 -
    I smelled it from the line
    Miss Yun Zhi revealed a hint of a smile, as if acknowledging that the two young men’s plan was sublime.

    Damn. Truly dogshit luck....
    Read more
  2. Offline
    Srijan
    + 1 ⋅ 0 -
    Dog shit luck!
    Read more
  3. Offline
    Doublefaced 2
    + 1 ⋅ 0 -
    Another long journey. I hope I can stick until the the end
    Read more
  4. Offline
    Calamity Clown
    + 0 ⋅ 0 -
    Lol hahaha
    Read more
  5. Offline
    Fawas
    + 2 ⋅ 1 -
    Beta Reading Feedback – Chapter 1
    “Today Is A Suitable Day For Traveling, Not For Cheating”
    1. First Reader Reaction
    This chapter opens with a strong sense of atmosphere. The rain, mud, and Lu Yang struggling along the road immediately create a grounded, almost comedic start. It felt like a classic cultivation novel setup but with a slightly humorous tone. I was curious about where Lu Yang’s journey would go, and the carriage encounter helped pull me further into the story.
    The twist at the end with Yun Zhi being the examiner instead of a candidate was genuinely satisfying and made the chapter feel complete.

    2. What Stayed With Me
    Several moments stuck out:
    The rainy opening scene. The description of rain hitting earth, lakes, and people created a vivid mood.
    Lu Yang’s quick reasoning during the moral dilemma test. That moment helped establish his intelligence and decisiveness.
    The carriage conversation. It felt like the beginning of a friendship or rivalry.
    The final reveal of Yun Zhi. The lotus steps and her identity as the Big Senior Sister was a strong and memorable visual moment.



    3. What Didn’t Stick
    A few areas felt less impactful:
    Some of the cultivation stage explanations felt a bit like information being delivered for the reader rather than naturally emerging from the conversation.


    The transmigration reveal about Lu Yang’s past world felt slightly quick and could carry more emotional weight.
    Meng Jingzhou’s purchase of the “exam answers” was interesting but felt a little rushed before moving on.



    4. Sticky / Awkward Areas
    A few moments slowed the reading flow:
    The long explanation of cultivation stages felt slightly dense for a first chapter.
    Some sentences describing background information felt more like narration than character-driven dialogue.
    The spirit root discussion and clan reaction could be a bit smoother so it feels less like exposition.


    None of these break the story, but they slightly interrupt the otherwise smooth pacing.

    5. What Felt Missing
    As a reader, a few elements could deepen the chapter:
    More of Lu Yang’s inner thoughts about leaving home for the first time.
    A slightly stronger sense of his personal motivation beyond wanting immortality.
    A small emotional moment reflecting on his parents or his lonely upbringing could add depth early on.


    Right now, we understand his situation, but we don’t quite feel it yet.

    6. Pacing
    Overall pacing is good for a first chapter.
    The structure flows nicely:
    Rainy introduction
    Carriage meeting
    Cultivation discussion
    Exam hints
    Arrival at the sect
    Final reveal


    The only slowdown comes from the exposition about cultivation stages, which briefly interrupts the narrative momentum.

    7. Plot & Structure
    The chapter works well structurally.
    It accomplishes several important things:
    Introduces the protagonist
    Establishes the cultivation world
    Introduces a potential ally (Meng Jingzhou)
    Teases the sect trials
    Ends with a clever twist
    The Yun Zhi reveal is especially effective because it reframes the entire carriage conversation.

    8. Characters
    Lu Yang
    He comes across as:
    Practical
    Observant
    Quick-thinking
    Slightly humorous
    His reasoning during the moral dilemma makes him feel like a capable protagonist rather than just another hopeful cultivator.
    Meng Jingzhou
    He’s a fun character already:
    Confident
    Talkative
    Slightly arrogant but likable


    He balances Lu Yang well and feels like someone who could become either a close friend or rival.
    Yun Zhi
    She leaves a strong impression despite limited screen time.
    The mystery around her, combined with the calm confidence she shows, makes her stand out immediately. The final reveal reinforces her authority.

    9. Dialogue
    The dialogue works well overall and feels natural for the characters.
    Good points:
    It helps reveal personality.
    It moves the plot forward.
    It carries most of the worldbuilding.
    Occasionally, some dialogue becomes slightly exposition-heavy, especially when explaining cultivation concepts.

    10. Immersion & Worldbuilding
    The worldbuilding is strong and recognizable within the cultivation genre.
    Things that worked well:
    Demon beasts
    Spirit roots
    Immortal sect hierarchy
    Flying cultivators guarding the mountain
    Magical treasures


    The Dao-Seeking Sect mountain scene was especially immersive and gave a good sense of scale.

    11. Emotional Impact
    The chapter leans more toward curiosity and intrigue rather than strong emotion, which works fine for an opening.
    The most satisfying emotional moment was:
    The twist with Yun Zhi being the examiner.
    It creates a light comedic payoff and makes the earlier conversation feel cleverly ironic.

    12. Final Reader Verdict
    This is a strong opening chapter for a cultivation story.
    It successfully:
    Sets up the protagonist’s journey
    Introduces important characters
    Establishes the cultivation world
    Ends with a memorable twist


    The main improvements would be:
    Slightly reducing exposition
    Adding a bit more emotional depth to Lu Yang
    Letting worldbuilding emerge more naturally through action and dialogue


    Overall, it’s an engaging start that makes me curious about the actual trials and how Lu Yang will perform.
    Read more
    1. Offline
      LemonSweet
      + 0 ⋅ 0 -
      wtf, this is good analysis, are u trying to get into writing? Also i have a question regarding a statement, it is said that 1/10 advance to next step, doesn't it feel too common like 1 out of 10 sounds underwhelming. I guess I am use to heaven shattering star busting talent of normal cultivation worlds.
      Read more
  6. Offline
    Zoro57
    + 0 ⋅ 0 -
    Hahaha it's so over troll17
    Read more
  7. Offline
    Novel Addict
    + 0 ⋅ 0 -
    Here we go again
    Read more
  8. Offline
    Bard of Anarchy
    + 19 ⋅ 0 -
    Mc: You shouldn't have ran your mouth to impress the beauty brother meng sigh
    Read more
  9. Offline
    Deathseeker
    + 48 ⋅ 0 -
    Lmfao when examiner told you about the test swindler
    Read more
  10. Offline
    Hotdamn
    + 35 ⋅ 0 -
    peepo003
    Well! Good luck trying to get into that sect
    Read more
1 2