Chapter 210 |
Am I totally screwed right now?
Seong Jiwon stared at me with unwavering eyes.
Overlaid on that face was the younger, softer version of Seong Jiwon from three years ago.
Back then, I’d been in the middle of planning a new show, so I figured someone with his looks and backstory would be easy enough to hype up and make famous. I’d told him not to give up on his idol dreams.
But the program kept getting scrapped and delayed, and by the time the concept was finally locked in and the air date was set, Seong Jiwon was nowhere to be found.
Whether that was because he’d debuted as nugu idol under Daepaseong, or because my memory was just shot, I couldn’t say.
No, that’s not the point right now.
Either way, I’d been forcibly summoned into the setup Seong Jiwon had arranged.
I could see why he’d been acting so out of character and dragged me all the way here. He had wanted to test me in the same place as back then. Watch my reaction and confirm his suspicions.
The person Seong Jiwon was looking for was definitely me.
Me, the PD.
But realistically, my face back then wouldn’t have looked like my 21-year-old face. On top of that, I thought I had been pretty subtle about hinting I was someone on the broadcast side. So, why was Seong Jiwon so rock-solid certain?
“…….”
Even if I was the right person, the contradictions were endless. Was he really willing to believe it despite all that?
My survival instincts kicked in, and my brain started spinning at full speed to figure out how to weasel my way out of this.
The system window that had flashed ERROR disappeared after informing me that Seong Jiwon was suspicious of me, and it hadn’t reappeared since.
Aside from today, the ERROR had only popped up twice before.
Once when Min Jiheon used his ability to try separating me from the system, and the second when I leaked the penalty on my own during Shining Star Season 2.
I can’t let it happen again.
What the system had said recently clung to a corner of my mind like a stubborn crumb.
That the system was unstable. That things were becoming increasingly unpredictable going forward.
A warning that it wouldn’t end well for the player either.
“Seong Jiwon.”
“…Y-yeah!”
Having quickly sorted through the situation, I deliberately furrowed my brows as if troubled and rubbed the tip of one eyebrow with my index finger.
“Was that guy as good-looking as me?”
Time to break out the specialty move.
Deny everything and double down.
“That’s so weird. I mean, I know I’m decent-looking, but my face isn’t exactly common.”
“…But, Hoyun-ah.”
Seong Jiwon lowered his gaze slightly and spoke.
“Your face really isn’t common, that’s the thing… it’s just too—too strange. You two look so alike. The way you talk, your vibe, even the placement of the scar, the shape. I keep wondering if I’m going crazy.”
Well yeah, because it IS me.
“Wow, that’s wild.”
“… Wild….”
“So, this guy looks just like me?”
No matter what excuse he tried to string together, the timeline fell apart no matter how you bent it.
I had a convenient alibi, only made possible because I’d leapt across ten years.
“…Someone who looks like you?”
Seong Jiwon tilted his head slightly to one side and murmured.
His tone was a mix of lingering doubt and a touch of deflation.
Still, even Jiwon seemed to know his theory was closer to a reach than anything.
Just when I thought he might finally drop it, he suddenly played a different card.
“A-also, there’s something else. During Christmas, you asked me those three questions, Hoyun. I kept thinking, how did you know all that so perfectly….”
– “Was he someone who works at a broadcast station?”
– “Did he smoke?”
– “He was a total asshole, right?”
Questions I’d thrown out expecting the main scenario to trigger.
“But what if… what if you were actually him—”
I cut off his words mid-sentence, stammered out like he was grasping at straws.
“Hey, that hurts.”
“…Huh?”
Two specialty moves weren’t cutting it, so I decided to add one more.
The classic “So that’s all I am to you?” play.
“I get that this person helped you out, but what about me, then?”
I drooped my eyes and jutted out my lower lip.
“I think I treated you really well during the whole The Dawn thing.”
Since I hadn’t used this skill in a while, I kept sneaking glances at Jiwon to check if it was landing.
“I totally understand that person is your savior, and I’m not gonna tell you to stop looking for them. But hear me out too. I’m not nobody to you, right?”
“…….”
“Right?”
“…Right.”
Jiwon, who had been quietly listening, slowly nodded.
I couldn’t read what he was thinking from his expression.
Figuring the situation was more or less handled, I grabbed the cake I’d just bought and stood up. Jiwon awkwardly trailed behind.
I paid for the food with a card and walked out through the lobby. Not a word from him the entire time.
I feel kinda bad.
Lying had never been a big deal to me, but something about this left a bitter taste.
I hadn’t even been all that nice to him, so why was he so desperate to find me?
Honestly, part of me wanted to just tell him. Yeah, I’m the person you’ve been looking for.
But I couldn’t predict what lay ahead, and with the system this unstable, the last thing I wanted was to add another variable: Seong Jiwon figuring out who I really was.
“Let’s head back. The guys are waiting.”
“…Oh, oh, yeah.”
Jiwon answered a beat late, like his mind had been elsewhere, then smiled softly, as if carefully folding away the emotions threatening to spill over.
“The guys are gonna love this cake. Let’s hurry back and dig in.”
“Sure.”
We crossed the lobby chatting like nothing had happened.
“What are you doing when we get back?”
“Maybe I’ll watch your birthday live.”
We hailed a taxi through the app and headed for the dorm.
The sky had been overcast with thick clouds, and little by little, raindrops began to fall.
“It’s raining.”
“Oh, yeah.”
I was debating whether to ask the driver to drop us right in front of the dorm instead of the main road when Jiwon rustled around beside me, pulled a small folding umbrella from his bag, and held it out.
He seemed a little low on energy, so I said it jokingly.
“Oh damn, you even brought an umbrella?”
“Yeah.”
“Sharp as you look….”
The moment the words left my mouth, I bit the inside of my cheek.
“…Sharp as you look….”
– “Sharp as you look…”
That was what I’d said to Seong Jiwon on that day. A day just like this one, with the rain drizzling down.
I turned my face away and fixed my gaze on the car window, where fat raindrops dotted the glass.
A sharp, gut-level certainty that I was screwed sent cold sweat trickling down my spine.
Jiwon was quiet too, whatever he was thinking.
Silence had never felt this heavy.
The second we arrived at the dorm, I bolted out of the taxi and strode through the rain.
Run. If he catches me, just play dumb. Deny everything.
Behind me, I heard the splash-splash of footsteps hitting puddles.
“Hoyun-ah!”
Jiwon grabbed my shoulder and spun me around. Slightly out of breath, he tilted the open umbrella toward me.
“Hoyun-ah, listen.”
My heart was hammering. My mind was a wreck.
Every nerve was on edge, bracing for whatever sentence was about to come out of Jiwon’s mouth and how I’d have to respond.
But—
“You might not know this, but the truth is….”
“H-huh?”
“I’m actually really jealous, and greedy, and my personality’s honestly pretty bad.”
What came out was something totally unexpected.
“But weirdly, from the very first moment I met you, I just genuinely wanted to be good to you.”
The first time… That would be the day I barged into Daepaseong and raised hell trying to get a song from Cheongbeom. Jiwon had been the only one to welcome me.
“Maybe it’s like you said—because you and that person look so much alike.”
The rain came down harder, soaking Jiwon’s shoulders.
“Don’t be hurt. You mean more to me now. It’s just… I really wanted to say thank you to him.”
Jiwon’s lowered lashes slowly lifted, and his clear eyes turned toward me.
“I don’t know why, but when he said ‘let’s meet again’ back then, it meant something huge to me. I held onto those words and kept going—”
Jiwon’s voice flowed without a single hitch, as if he’d rehearsed this a hundred times.
I pressed my lips tight and fought to keep my expression from cracking.
“—and that’s why I’m standing right here.”
“…….”
He was drenched himself, but Jiwon noticed the rain hitting my shoulder and carefully brushed it off before meeting my eyes.
“Thanks to you, hyung.”
And then he smiled, just slightly.
A look that was part nervous, part relieved.
“I wanted to promise I’d pay this debt back no matter what but—ahaha….”
Pay me back? For what?
I looked at him and swallowed a sigh.
“…Hey.”
I pushed the umbrella toward Jiwon and spoke.
“I have zero clue what you’re talking about, but let’s get one thing straight.”
There was one line that really bugged me.
“You’d still be standing here even without that person.”
“…Huh?”
“Look in the mirror. With a face like yours, if you’re not an idol, who is?”
Setting aside my personal taste entirely, looked at objectively from every angle—it was the honest truth.
Charisma, talent, looks.
Any one of those, paired with effort, was enough to make a living. And Jiwon had charisma, talent, AND looks on top of putting in twice the work of everyone else.
The reason Daepaseong’s practice room lights were on every single day was Seong Jiwon and no one else.
“You were just born that way, you bastard.”
Jiwon stared at me wide-eyed, blank-faced, then burst out laughing.
“Ah…….”
“…….”
“Ah, Seo Hoyun, seriously.”
The laughter that went on and on eventually turned into sniffles.
“You’re right. I was born to be an idol.”
“Obviously.”
He’d probably keep suspecting me. No—looking back on our conversation, he was already convinced.
But as long as I stayed here, the truth would only ever be one thing.
The “Seo Hoyun” from that day was not the “Seo Hoyun” standing here now.
Can’t be helped.
That’s just how life works.
Sometimes you know the truth and have to bury it anyway.
Just like how I pretended not to hear Jiwon’s quiet crying, lost in the sound of the rain.
“…Hoyun-ah.”
“Yeah.”
“I left the cake in the taxi.”
“No wonder you bolted out so fast.”
When I played along, Jiwon rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and cracked a small grin.
“It’s fine. I’ll buy you something even better on your next birthday.”
“…Yeah.”
Even though I hadn’t recognized him because of the scenario, we’d found each other again, just like this.
One way or another, I’d kept the words I’d said.
I called his name, his eyes rimmed red and nose flushed.
“Jiwon-ah.”
Seong Jiwon, who was kind even to a selfish bastard like me, right to the very end.
“Happy birthday.”
You don’t have to keep your promise.