Chapter 36: Not a Goodbye. |
Amy stared at the manga's final panel: her younger self holding Libris in that dark alley while the 'mysterious woman' she knew as the Goddess disappeared into the shadows.
Unable to move her gaze away, she kept her eyes on the pages to the point that the very drawing became ingrained in her mind. It was only when she remembered that she was on a timer that she finally snapped back into the real world.
Memories. Just memories.
A small sigh left her as she rested her head against the wall behind her. Once again, that thing was starting to grow in her chest: the numbness.
Numbness was the only way she had to describe it, but more precisely, it felt like there were so many things to say and so much to express that at some point her brain started getting used to the chaos.
It was almost like she wasn't the one feeling her own emotions. It was a weird experience, an experience that, honestly, she was beginning to take a liking to; it was very useful for not wasting time on useless feelings, and right now there really was no time to lose.
"Well, that's about right," she muttered, closing Libris shut.
[About right?]
"The whole 'deal with the devil' vibe of that last conversation I had with the goddess, the one shown in the manga. It's accurate, isn't it?"
"Knowing that psycho, I bet it is." Amy sighed once again as her mind shifted from the Goddess's smiling face to her younger self's altered visage. "Seeing my memories as a manga chapter is…odd. But honestly not as bad as I thought. There are enough changes for me to distance myself…at least a small portion of it..."
[How so? Not to sound rude, but you looked pretty engrossed back there.]
Amy shrugged and lowered her gaze to the ground. "I mean, sure, I can get caught up in the 'memories' and all, but still, there are enough differences to keep me grounded here. Like—what the hell does my father have to do with nobility? They dropped that shit out of nowhere."
[Mmm… That might be due to the readers' perceptions of your character and their influence on the story. Remember, the readers have been speculating about your royal bloodline since your first appearance.]
"Speculating how?"
[Well, many readers have noted your golden hair and the barely perceptible purple highlights, which are associated with some noble bloodlines in this world. Combined with your mysterious knowledge and abilities, they've been theorizing about hidden royal connections since day one. And now that your backstory has finally begun being implemented, these theories have become a reality.]
Amy frowned, absently running a hand through her hair. "But that's the thing I don't get. Why do I even have golden hair and purple highlights in the first place? My original hair was brown."
[...]
"Libris?"
[That's... a very good question. One I unfortunately cannot answer.]
"What do you mean you can't answer?"
[I mean exactly that. At first I thought it was because of the manga effect; there are no ugly characters in this world, you see. Not that you were ugly, or anything similar, but like…]
"What…?"
[Either way, after seeing what it has led to, it's indeed kind of weird. I honestly have no idea… I think you should ask the Goddess about that when you see her again.]
"When I see her again?" Amy's voice rose slightly, causing Lyra to glance over briefly before returning to her healing. Amy lowered her voice to a whisper. "You make it sound inevitable."
[Given everything that's happening, and her promise about 'something special' waiting for you in the Library during the personal trials... yes, I'd say it's inevitable.]
Amy felt that familiar numbness spreading through her chest again. Another mystery, another problem to add to the growing list. "Jesus, it never stops, does it? Ughhh… And then, there's also the stuff about playing the character, which is slowly becoming a pain in the ass… Just how much of me is actually... me? If my appearance changed, if the story is rewriting my past, if the readers' perceptions are becoming reality..."
[Amy, do you really want to get into these kinds of existential topics right now? We are on a timer, you know?]
Amy was about to respond with a no, but then thought for a second and was surprised by herself. "I mean…kind of…?"
[I suppose there's still time…] Libris sighed, though it was soft and without ill intent. [You're still you. Changed, perhaps. Influenced by external forces, certainly. But the core of who you are… that remains unchanged.]
"Does it though?" Amy whispered, staring at the book. "Libris, to be honest, playing the mysterious seer has been kind of hard recently— Actually, I haven't been acting at all these past few hours… I feel as if my character is changing into something different, and I don't know if I like that. I don't think I have gone completely off script yet, but there were a few times during this whole ordeal we're going through that I almost did."
[Then perhaps the question isn't whether you're still yourself, but whether you're becoming who you were always meant to be.]
Amy's eyebrow rose and she gave a light shake of her head. "That's either very profound or complete bullshit, and I can't tell which."
[Why not both?]
Amy tried to smile at the book's words but her lips became uncooperative. Instead, she just looked at it with what was probably not a very good expression because Libris fell silent right after.
Time was ever passing, and Libris would shut down at any moment, so she probably should get on with the manga comments once and for all, but…
"Libris, about Mira…"
[Yes…]
There was a pain in her throat as she spoke. "I just… I can't stop thinking about it, the fact that she was missing from the chapter probably because the readers can't believe my character would do something like bullying. It feels wrong. You said that I'm becoming who I should be, but it doesn't feel like it if this part of me is hidden, the ugly part. I just don't like people seeing me as some kind of pitiful character when I'm…horrible…"
[Amy. That's not—]
"Amy?" A feminine voice suddenly called out, startling Amy slightly.
Both Amy and Libris went silent as Lyra's voice interrupted them. The auburn-haired girl was approaching, her expression hard to read. Sweat was visible all over her face; she was probably tired from all the healing.
Amy looked at Lyra, noting the way the girl's hands were fidgeting with the hem of her robes, the way she kept glancing at the others before focusing on her.
"What is it, Lyra?" Amy asked, her voice carefully neutral.
"I just…" Lyra began talking, looking pretty uncomfortable. "I wanted to talk to you, see how you're doing if that's alright…"
"I'm fine," Amy said automatically, the practiced words flowing out before she could stop them. "Just tired. It's been a long day."
Lyra's green eyes studied her face intently. "Are you sure? You look... upset. And I heard you talking to…uhhh, your book."
"Yeah… I'm still sorting things out. But don't worry, I'm fine, just need some time to—"
[Amy, stop that...]
Amy's mouth snapped shut mid-sentence, and a confused expression appeared on her face. Her gaze traveled to Libris with a clear question written on her face.
Libris took a small second to respond. [You can't keep pushing everyone away forever… Especially not now that I won't be able to keep an eye on you constantly anymore.]
Amy closed her eyes, and then with a little exasperation muttered, "Libris, this isn't the time—"
[There's never a time, is there? There's always something more urgent, more important to do. Is that really the excuse you want to use all your life?]
Amy frowned. She felt her hands tightening around the book. Lyra was still standing there, waiting, her gaze growing more penetrating by the second.
"Amy?" Lyra said softly. "Are you... are you talking to your artifact right now?"
Amy looked up at her. She had noticed Lyra's gaze on her for a while now, while she was healing Crow, but she didn't actually expect the girl to come over to talk… They haven't spoken much, if at all. So this was very…odd, to say the least. She was probably feeling very uncomfortable right now. Responding with a negation after the effort that it probably took to come here wouldn't be appropriate…yet…
"I..." Amy started, then stopped. She did not want to plainly refuse, but…this really wasn't the time.
Libris somehow seemed to read her thoughts as it suddenly spoke. [Tell her you'll talk after you finish what you need to do. That's a compromise, not a deflection.]
"..." Amy could not find any logical reason to refuse the book's words—actually, why was she even searching for a reason…
She bit her lip, then took a shaky breath. "Lyra, I... I have something I need to finish first—something important. When I'm done, maybe.. could we talk then…?"
Lyra's gaze softened somewhat. "Of course. Don't feel obligated to; it's not like I'm going anywhere."
"Thank you," Amy said, and meant it. "I promise I'll explain everything—"
"No, that wasn't what I meant." Lyra rapidly shook her head, leaving Amy feeling confused. "I just…wanted to talk…like actually talk with you. Not about anything related to our situation…"
"Oh…" Amy stared at Lyra for a long moment, processing her words.
Just... talk.
"I..." Amy started, then realized she didn't know how to respond.
They stared at each other in silence for a little while before Amy finally broke the silence.
"Why…?" She asked, the question slipping out before she could stop it.
"Why what?"
Amy was about to respond, but then shook her head and let out a small sigh. "Sure…we can talk later…"
Lyra stared at her for a brief second before nodding wordlessly and returning to her position next to the sleeping Crow, though Amy noticed she kept glancing over with that same concerned expression.
[Well done.]
"Well done what?"
[Nothing.]
"..." Amy's lips contracted and her brows furrowed, but she did not speak further. Instead, she looked around the chamber. Zayd was still in his meditative position, Ash was still snoring softly, and there was no sign of Iris and Lain returning yet.
"How long?" she whispered.
[Seven minutes and forty-two seconds.]
"Right. The comments." Amy straightened up, pushing aside her thoughts and emotions for later. "Then let's deal with the immediate crisis. We still need to read the comments, figure out what changes are coming, see how my abilities have grown, and prepare for when Lain and Iris get back."
[Your approval ratings have grown considerably these last few chapters—especially the last one. Even if the handling of your abilities cripples you, your power should still grow considerably.]
"As they should. After all the shit I went through…"
The book glowed faintly before opening itself up to a page showing an internet forum.
[Brace yourself. Some of these are... intense.]
"Ehhh, I think I can handle whatever random strangers on the internet have to say about my fictional family drama."
[Famous last words, as always.]
"Perhaps."
[Alright, enough time wasted. Displaying comments from chapters 156, 157, 158, 159, 160, 161, and 162.]
Amy nodded, then took a deep breath before she finally began reading, then instantly after, a sigh left her mouth.
[Huh? What's up?]
"Nothing," she said, another sigh leaving her once again. "It's just that the tone difference between what I'm living and these comments is so abysmal that I got blindsided."
[Understandable, I share the same feeling.]
"Right," Amy for the third time let out a long loud sigh before finally once again focusing on the comments.
[First is Ch.156: This chapter covered the events from Crow's perspective during the week before your infiltration of the Eastern Wing as he visited each member of the party and tested their readiness. It has as highlights Crow and Zayd's talk, Vanheim's special lecture about nightmares, as well as the last page where Crow and you both talk about whether your parents will be there in the eastern wing.]
[Ch.156]
FINALLY!!! AMY'S BACKSTORY!!! Baby Amy trying so hard with magic and failing... the domestic violence... I'm SOBBING 😭😭😭 This explains so much about her character
↳ 8.9k likes ⋅ 2.1k comments
EmotionalWreckage ↪ replying to ProtectAmySquad: her parents blamed her for their marriage problems... "All your fault"... I can't breathe.
↳ 3.7k likes ⋅ 1k comments
ChildhoodTrauma ↪ replying to ProtectAmySquad: The slap panel... the broken dishes... her mother's dazed expression... Takahashi didn't hold back
↳ 3k likes ⋅ 892 comments
ParentingFail ↪ replying to ProtectAmySquad: Worst parent combo you can get, an overly involved mother and an absent father. Both use Amy as a weapon against each other instead of protecting her from their conflict. Some people shouldn't have children
↳ 2k likes ⋅ 567 comments
NobilityConfirmed: "failed prince" and "deserter" Amy’s dad is royalty. Not only that but also from avalon, wich is crazy since we barely know about it. Called it. The golden hair, the eyes, powers, everything makes sense now
↳ 7.8k likes ⋅ 1.5k comments
AmySpotlightHater: UGH. Another whole chapter focused on Amy. What about the other characters? What about Crow's development? This series is becoming "Amy: The Manga"
↳ 234 likes ⋅ 1.8k comments
HollowPlush ↪ replying to AmySpotlightHater: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Amy has gotten like 3 chapters of backstory in 162 chapters while Crow gets development CONSTANTLY. Let my girl have her moment!!! She literally saved everyone with her book and you're complaining about SPOTLIGHT???
↳ 3.2k likes ⋅ 445 comments
BookLover99 ↪ replying to AmySpotlightHater: What my besties said! Amy is literally the most interesting character and this backstory explains her entire personality. How is character development a bad thing?? Fucking Dieee
↳ 500 likes ⋅ 834 comments
VoiceActingDream: If this ever gets an anime, the voice actress for little Amy is going to destroy us all. I can already hear the trembling voice during the magic practice scenes 😭
↳ 3.9k likes ⋅ 445 comments
DetailAppreciation: The dust motes in the air during magic practice, the way Amy's hair falls over her face when she's ashamed, the merchants' authentic-looking traveling gear. Every detail serves the story. This might actually be my favorite chapter from them, good job
↳ 3.1k likes ⋅ 345 comments
GenerationalTrauma ↪ replying to DetailAppreciation: Amy's father fled his responsibilities, her mother transferred her fears onto Amy, and Amy nearly repeated the pattern with Mira. The cyclical nature of inherited pain is perfectly illustrated here
↳ 1k likes ⋅ 34 comments
PsychodynamicTheory: amy's compulsive need to save everyone is textbook reaction formation - turning her own desperate need to be saved into a drive to save others. she couldn't fix her parents' marriage or stop her own abuse, so now she's trying to prevent everyone else's suffering. it's her trauma brain's way of maintaining the illusion of control
↳ 1.2k likes ⋅ 789 comments
Blll ↪ replying to DetailAppreciation: Meh, dunno if its that deep, this is Takashi san we are talking about
↳ 780 likes ⋅ 79 comments
GenationalTrauma ↪ replying to DetailAppreciation: Amy's parents are just passing down their own unhealed trauma. her father fled his responsibilities, her mother developed controlling behaviors as defense mechanism. neither knew how to break the cycle, so Amy inherited all their fears plus the pressure to fix what they couldn't. this is how families destroy themselves across generations
↳ 700 likes ⋅ 92 comments
Moredud: Any one has any idea who that final person who gave her the artifact was? That look like hella important
↳ 5.8k likes ⋅ 892 comments
LatentNightThoughts ↪ replying to DetailAppreciation: Dunno but appearing when amy is at her lowest point isn't salvation - it's predatory behavior disguised as kindness. I believe she targets a traumatized child, offers exactly what that child desperately needs, then disappears. that's literally how groomers operate. the "what are friends for?" line is chilling
↳ 2k likes ⋅ 300 comments
SimpleMinded: Female characters should be either pure waifus or badass fighters. This "realistic psychology" stuff is too complicated for manga. Just give us cute girls doing cute things
↳ 89 likes ⋅ 1.8k comments
Lalatam ↪ replying to SimpleMinded: Bro they gonna kill you XDD
↳ 809 likes ⋅ 25 comments
Maravilla ↪ replying to SimpleMinded: 1800 comments 89 likes, holy ratio.
↳ 719 likes ⋅ 45 comments
Lalatam ↪ replying to SimpleMinded: “They hated him couse he told the the truth”
↳ 319 likes ⋅ 845 comments
RoadToHellPaved: been thinking about amy's character arc and... she wanted to "make people happy" as a child and now she's trying to "save everyone." but what's the actual cost of that objective? how many people can one person realistically save before they destroy themselves in the process?
every time amy helps someone, she takes on their burden. Just like when in the last nightmare Building B she almost killed herself - she's collecting everyone's problems like they're her responsibility. but trauma isn't transferable. pain isn't shareable. you can't heal the world by absorbing its wounds.
the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and amy is laying down those stones one "saved" person at a time. her childhood wish was pure, but the execution is becoming self-destructive. how many times can she sacrifice herself before there's nothing left to sacrifice?
and here's the terrifying part - the story is rewarding her for this behavior. She up till now, has managed to save everyone. she's being conditioned to believe that suffering (hers and others) is the price of heroism. but what happens when there's no more suffering left to endure? what happens when she saves everyone except herself?
the merchant didn't just give amy a book - she gave her an impossible task disguised as a noble goal. and amy is going to kill herself trying to complete it, isn't she?
↳ 12.8k likes ⋅ 3.4k comments
ExistentialDread ↪ replying to RoadToHellPaved: this comment just broke me. amy is definitely going to die saving everyone and we're all going to watch it happen ↳ 5.9k likes ⋅ 892 comments
TragicHeroTheory ↪ replying to RoadToHellPaved: Classic tragic hero setup. Amy's greatest strength (wanting to help) will become her greatest weakness (sacrifice everything fo it)
↳ 4.7k likes ⋅ 623 comments
PhilosophyMajor ↪ replying to RoadToHellPaved: You just described the fundamental paradox of altruism. In trying to eliminate suffering, Amy is creating more suffering, but this time for herself. There's no ethical way out of this loop
↳ 500 likes ⋅ 34 comments
HollowPlush ↪ replying to RoadToHellPaved: NO NO NO AMY IS GOING TO BE FINE SHE'S GOING TO SAVE EVERYONE AND BE HAPPY AND NOTHING BAD WILL HAPPEN LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU
↳ 2.2k likes ⋅ 1.1k comments
Amy let out a long exhale, leaning back against the wall.
[So... how are you doing?] Libris's voice carried a note of careful concern.
Amy rolled her eyes, though not unkindly. "I'm fine, Libris."
[Amy...]
"Really... Some of those comments were actually pretty funny."
[...]
"Don't put that metaphorical expression on your face. That one guy getting roasted by the author was hilarious. And the people defending me in every single thread like their life depended on it? Kind of endearing, honestly."
[...]
"What? I'm serious, Libris. I'm fine... Even I honestly can't believe how fine I am." She shrugged.
Libris fell silent for a moment, and Amy could practically feel its worry radiating through their connection.
Tiresome...
"So what's next?" Amy asked, glancing around the chamber. Still no sign of Iris and Lain returning. "Should we look at some of those theory threads? The one about royal bloodlines looked pretty comprehensive."
[We only have three minutes left before I need to rest,] Libris said quietly. [Not enough time for the longer threads, and honestly, there's nothing incredibly groundbreaking in them. Just more speculation about your father and the usual shipping wars. Your powers have been kind of established already so there won't be much change.]
"Ah. Well, then I guess—"
[Actually, there is one comment I want you to see.]
Amy frowned. "Just one?"
[It's... unusual. Very short. Only has zero likes and one reply, so it would be easy to miss. But...]
The book's pages shifted, displaying a single comment thread.
"I guess I'll look at it, then..."
Amy straightened her posture, then focused on the book's pages.
Afriend: So, what do you think? Did you like what I did with your memories?
I've been reading this story from the very beginning, watching every choice, every sacrifice, every moment of growth and pain. And I find myself wondering about the mathematics of salvation—what is the exchange rate between one person's suffering and the world's happiness?
Amy, sweet child, you wished to make people happy when you were eight years old. Such a pure desire, born from your own misery. You wanted to give others what you could never have—peace, safety, love without conditions. But somewhere along the way, that innocent wish transformed into something larger, more terrible, more beautiful.
Forgive me for the dramatic comparisons, but I can't help myself. For me, you've become Atlas, carrying the weight of everyone's pain. You've become Prometheus, stealing fire to warm others while burning yourself. You've become Sisyphus, pushing the boulder of salvation up an endless mountain, knowing it will roll back down, knowing you'll push it up again anyway.
But here's what I wonder, Amy—what I've always wondered since that day I found you: Will it be worth it? When you reach the end of this story, when you've saved everyone you possibly can, when you've paid every price and made every sacrifice—will you look back and think it was worth the cost?
You see, I could tell you how this ends. I've seen it a trillion times, people like you. I could reveal the final twist, explain whether your impossible dream succeeds or fails. But that would rob you of the choice, wouldn't it? The choice to keep going even without knowing the outcome.
You're going to face moments where you'll want to give up. Where the weight becomes too much, where the road ahead looks impossible, where everyone you've tried to save looks at you with disappointment or fear or pity. You're going to wonder if he was right—if you really are just a failure dressed up in noble intentions.
The road to hell may be paved with good intentions, but the road to heaven? That's paved with good intentions too. The only difference is whether you have the strength to keep walking when the path becomes impossible. I can't wait to see it, honestly.
I gave you a book, Amy. But I never gave you the friend you currently hold. And that gave me hope.
"Was this the life I wanted to live?" I wondered. Then I realized you were the one with the answer.
I hope one day you can share your findings with me. After all, what are friends for?
—Someone who has been watching your story unfold with great interest
↳ 0 likes ⋅ 1 comments
Didin ↪ replying to Afriend: I can smell the odor from here stinky otaku
↳ 1 like ⋅ 0 comments
Amy stared at the comment, her grip on the book gradually tightening. The intimate knowledge. The casual tone. The way it spoke…it would be stupid to even wonder who that was.
"Libris," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "When was this posted?"
[...Seventeen minutes ago.]
"Right after we entered this chamber."
[Yes.]
Amy took a deep breath, trying to calm herself before shaking her head then reading the comment again, focusing on the final line: "I hope one day you can share it with me, your findings."
[What a confusing creature…]
"Three minutes," Amy said quietly. Her attention already moving away from the comment.
[One minute and forty-seven seconds, actually.]
"One minute and forty-seven seconds," Amy repeated, her voice hollow. "Right. We should check the stats before you..."
[Before I take my well-deserved nap. Yes, let's see how much your suffering has translated into numerical gains.]
"Right…" Quickly after uttering those words, the pages shifted, revealing Amy's updated status screen:
Name: Amy Stake
Special ability: Fate's Road
Secondary ability: Shared Fate (New - Bonded with Libris)
STR: F → D
END: E → C
DEX: E → C
AGI: F → C
MAG: C (F) → B (D)
READER SENTIMENT:Fanatic: 0.01% → 1.01% ↑ (Increase of 1% since last checked)
Devoted: 1.3% → 7.3% ↑ (Increase of 6% since last checked)
Like: 23.8% → 38.8% ↑ (Increase of 15% since last checked)
Neutral/Undecided: 74.18% → 50% ↓ (Decrease of 24.18% since last checked)
Dislike: 0.7% → 2.2% ↑ (Increase of 1.5% since last checked)
Hate: 0.01% → 0.49% ↑ (Increase of 0.48% since last checked)
Amy-Level: 0.0% → 0.2% ↑
Overall: Your ability power has increased from level 12 to 45.
Ability's Mastery: 4 → 9 (Nearing threshold)
Amy stared at her status fixedly. "That's... a lot."
[Quite impressive. That last chapter really boosts you up. You're in record-breaking territory. Even if your mastery is low and you can’t utilize your full powers, it won’t matter as your ability power is so big that it is impossible for you to not notice the difference]
"Wonderful," Amy muttered, though there was no real emotion behind it. "And this new ability—Shared Fate. That's the one we were working for, right?"
[Indeed. A way for you to look into the future and fight back against the rapidly changing story. You can use it with me sleeping too, so don’t worry.]
"Nice, good thing at least that went well." Amy traced a finger over the stats. "My physical stats plus magic also went up. Is that the training week results? Or me running away desperately trying to survive from a swarm of monsters all day?"
[Probably both. Though I suspect meeting the monster helped a lot—maybe even our boss had a hand in it, since this is actually quite a bit higher than I expected.]
Amy let out a sound that might have been a laugh if it had any humor in it. "Right. The Goddess." She glanced around the chamber again, half-expecting to see those galaxy eyes watching from the shadows. "She's here somewhere, isn't she? Watching us."
[Most likely. But we have more immediate concerns.]
"Like you're going to sleep." The words came out flatter than Amy intended.
[It's temporary, Amy. I’ll wake up in no time I—]
"When?" Amy interrupted. "Remind me, please. My memory is a little hazy."
A pause. Then, quietly: [From now on, I’ll be awake one hour a day if we are fortunate.]
“And if we are unfortunate…?”
[An hour a week, or even a month… hard to say.]
"A month." Amy closed her eyes. "By then, this whole thing will be over one way or another. Actually probably it will be over by tomorrow."
[Yes.]
They sat in silence for a moment. Around them, the chamber remained still—Zayd meditating, Ash snoring, Lyra stealing glances while healing Crow. It felt surreal, having this conversation while the world continued around them.
"Tomorrow you'll wake up," Amy said finally, trying to inject certainty into her voice.
[I'm not sure that's true, Amy.]
"It will be. It has to be."
[Aww, can’t even be a day without me] Libris said gently, and there was something almost teasing in its tone. [Don’t cry too much while I’m gone, alright.]
Amy's lips twitched in what might have been a smile. "Even if I felt like crying—which I don't, because everything feels weirdly empty right now—I wouldn't have any tears left. Used them all up when I thought you were dead."
[Amy...]
"It's fine. Really. This… numbness? Is actually kind of useful. No messy emotions getting in the way of what needs to be done." She shifted against the wall. "Speaking of which, we should probably talk about Abaddon."
[Ah. Yes.]
"He'll be back, won't he? That dramatic exit of his wasn't a permanent goodbye."
[Without a doubt. Whatever game he's playing, whatever his connection to your bloodline, he's far from finished. You should prepare yourself for—]
"I know," Amy cut in. "Trust me, I know. Didn't really need the reminder, but thanks anyway."
[Was that a little venom I heard in your voice? I'm trying to be helpful, you know.]
"Libris…why does this feel like a goodbye?" The words slipped out before Amy could stop them.
Libris was quiet for a long moment. Then: [It's not goodbye. It's just... see you later.]
"Right. See you later." Amy's hands tightened on the book. "In an hour tomorrow. Or next week. Or..."
[Amy, I need to tell you something.]
"For some reason, I can already guess what's gonna be about. If this is about my sins or my past or—"
[I don't believe you should pay for any sin. This whole saving people as well as your selflessness, it's bad for you.]
“Of course.” Amy rolled her eyes and smiled bitterly. "That's... sweet. Wrong, but sweet."
[I'm not wrong.]
"I think I finally accepted it. Now that I’m level-headed and calm, I realise what I haven’t managed to internalize till now. Libris, I'm quite a bad person." The words came out without emotion, a simple statement of fact. "I've kind of accepted it at this point. I hurt people because I could. I destroyed Mira because I was jealous and petty. I've been cruel and selfish and—"
[If you're evil, then you are calling me evil too.]
"What?"
[I told you before—I learned to feel by copying you. My personality, my emotions, my very consciousness are being modeled after yours. So if you're evil, then by definition, so am I.]
Amy stared at the book. "That's not how it works."
[Isn't it? I've been by your side since the beginning, Amy. I've seen every thought, every regret, every moment of genuine kindness you try to hide. Yes, you've done terrible things. But you've also thrown yourself into danger repeatedly to save others. You've suffered to protect people who barely know you. You're trying to save a world that has given you nothing but pain. If anyone thinks you are evil and hates you, then fuck’em.]
"That doesn't erase what I did."
[No. But it doesn't define you either. Amy, if anyone were in your situation and had the exact life you lived through, I bet they would have done just as bad a thing as you did. The difference is that none of them would have had the will to change. But you did. And for me, that's what matters the most. Have you not had enough suffering? Don’t you wish for happier times?]
“Who said I don’t want to be happier…” Amy murmured, voice barely above a whisper. “I do. I really do. But wanting doesn’t make it happen. Not when everything’s this broken.”
Libris was quiet for a moment. When it finally spoke, the softness in its voice was almost tangible, more...human than before.
[Things will get better, Amy.]
She shook her head. “No, they won’t. You don’t get it. I’m too far in. Too much has happened. Too much has changed.”
[You’re wrong. Things will get better. Not because the world will suddenly be fair, or because all the pain will vanish overnight. But because you’re still here, breathing, and fighting.]
Amy laughed bitterly. “I don’t feel like I’m fighting. I feel like I’m barely crawling.”
[Then crawl. Crawl until you can stand again. And when you stand, walk. And then run. I don’t care, just stay breathing.]
“And what if I can’t even crawl?”
[Amy. This moment—it feels like the end, but one day you’ll look back and realize it was the beginning. The point where the stars began to align. Where the storms began to disappear. Not all at once. But gradually. And the sky behind it? It’ll hold nothing but light. Nothing but smiles. Yours, too. And maybe mine with luck.]
Amy let the silence stretch between them. Then let out a sigh, a loud, long sigh, bigger than any before.
“This is at the same time the longest and shortest minute of my life….”
[Tell me about it.]
Amy shook her head then whispered. “I want to believe you, Libris. I really do.”
[You don’t have to believe me yet. Just stay. Just hold on a little longer. That’s enough for now.]
Another sigh, another roll of eyes, another bit of her lips… but eventually a nod.
They fell into silence again for a short moment until Amy broke it.
"This really does feel like goodbye," Amy whispered.
[Even though it's not meant to be.]
"Even though it's not meant to be," she agreed.
It would be hard, yes. She would feel alone, yes… but at least Libris was here, still alive.
[Amy... thank you.] Libris suddenly spoke, shaking her out of her thoughts.
"For what?"
[For everything.] It said, with a human-like quality she had never heard from it. [For showing me what it means to care. For teaching me friendship. For helping me understand why humans fight so hard, even when everything seems hopeless. For... for making me want to be more than just a book.]
Amy felt something shift in the air. A soft, golden light began emanating from Libris. Then, impossibly, the light began to coalesce, taking shape.
An arm full of scars. Translucent and glowing, made of flesh, it emerged from the book's pages and went directly into her face.
"What—" Amy's voice caught in her throat as the ghostly hand reached up and gently caressed her cheek. The touch was soft and unmistakably real.
[I can see it now,] Libris said softly. [My dream of becoming human. Thanks to you, it's no longer impossible.]
"I didn't—I haven't done anything—"
[Do you remember when I told you that becoming human would be impossible, or worse? The reason was my contract with the Goddess. It bound me, defined me, and limited me to being just a tool in her story.]
"But I didn't break it. You did that yourself—"
[Because I was protecting you. And the Goddess healed me as a gift to you. Don't you see? Everything that's happened—my freedom, my growth, this glimpse of what I could become—it's all because of you. Your existence in this world changed everything.]
The golden hand lingered against her cheek for another moment, thumb gently brushing away a tear Amy didn't realize had fallen.
"Libris..."
[I need to rest now. I wish I could stay, but...yeah, see you later…]
The hand began to fade, the golden light dimming. It was so fast that it was obvious that it seemed that at any moment it would disappear.
[Take care of yourself, Amy, love you.]
"Love you too," she whispered out of instinct back, clutching the book against her chest as the light faded completely.
The warmth lingered for a moment more, then gradually dimmed until only the familiar weight of the damaged book remained. No voice in her mind. No comforting presence. Just silence.
Amy sat there, holding her sleeping friend, as the seconds ticked by and the world prepared to end around them.
Amy sat in the silence for a moment longer, the weight of Libris's absence already settling into her bones.
Minutes passed, she didn’t move. She really did not feel like doing anything anymore; her body didn’t really have much strength.
But there was no time for that. Not yet. Time was ever passing, and she couldn’t waste it.
She looked down at the damaged book in her hands.
Shared Fate, the status screen had called it.
On impulse, Amy opened the book. The pages were blank. But as she fixated on them, something began to form. Not words or images, but impressions—fragments of possibility bleeding through their bond.
The vision faded as quickly as it came, leaving Amy gasping, and the book grew warm in her hands.
"I’m gonna end this," she whispered to the book. Then, carefully placing it in her satchel, she stood.
Her knowledge had proven obsolete during this whole ordeal. Yet she still had trust on it. And now in combination with her powers…
Lyra looked up as Amy stood up, that concerned expression still on her face. "Amy? Are you alright?"
"You said you wanted to talk?" Amy's voice came out steadier than she expected. "We can do that while we walk."
Lyra blinked. "Walk? Where are we going?"
"There's a place we need to reach before Abaddon arrives."
"What?" Lyra's eyes widened. "Shouldn’t we wait for Lain and Iris to return. We can't just—"
"There's no time." Amy moved toward where Crow lay unconscious, his breathing steady under Lyra's healing. "We need to prepare. Set up defenses. And much more."
From his meditation spot, Zayd's eyes opened almost like a zombie...kinda scary. "Should I accompany you?" His amber gaze was assessing, curious.
Amy shook her head. "Stay here with Ash. When Lain and Iris return, tell them where we've gone." She paused, meeting his eyes directly. "Can I trust you to do that?"
Zayd studied her for a long moment. She could see him weighing her words, analyzing her expression, searching for deception. Finally, he inclined his head slightly. "Very well. Though I'm curious how you know where to go in this place. Even I don’t recognize this part of the Academy."
"Let's just say I have a good sense of direction," Amy replied, not quite lying.
Lyra stood up, wringing her hands. "Amy, I can't just leave Crow. He's still unconscious, still healing. I need to monitor—"
"We're bringing him with us."
"What?" Lyra's voice pitched higher. "We can't move him! His condition is too fragile, and he'd never agree to—"
"He’ll understand. He owes me after all," Amy said simply. "A big favor. And I'm collecting."