Chapter 330: Conflicted |
"Are you the one?" Lin Ziyan's words, while almost entirely nude, with watery eyes, could be easily misunderstood.
Wei Wuyin calmly replied, "I didn't violate you, if that's what you're asking." He had never been one to panic in the face of an accusation, nor would he, someone who stayed true to his steadfast principles and morals, would ever reveal guilt for any action he'd done. Because if he decided to do it, then it was something he could always live with.
The only blemish in his entire life was Na Xinyi. And that wasn't because of the act itself, regardless of the situation, no male cultivator would ever allow a woman with a Yin Physique of any type to escape their clutches. In fact, it was normal to simply take her Primal Yin through other means and kill her, an act that would be similar to snatching one's treasure. An act that was all too familiar with the cultivation world's strong eats the weak mentality.
It was the act of mercy that troubled him. Instead of extracting the majority of the benefits through cultivation methods, he decided to offer her a chance at freedom for her body, leaving her with a life and talent. He had taken something precious from her where she might've felt like she didn't have a choice otherwise, and that bothered him.
He was by no means a saint; it was these principles that he adhered to. It was perfectly normal and acceptable to extract her Yin Sources, behead her, and bury her in an unmarked grave; however, trading her body for freedom was the issue that plagued him.
As for violating an unconscious woman? That was unworthy to even emerge as a thought within his mind. No matter how beautiful, how mesmerising, or how special they were.
Lin Ziyan was startled for a moment, realizing she was misunderstood. She softly shook her head, her eyes still threatening to spill a few rivers from those ocean-like blues. She clenched the robes tightly, her knuckles turning white.
"Wait! Just wait, please…" She said, wanting to calm herself down. She moved her legs. She was somewhat taken aback by how smooth her bodily control was. She had been in a wheelchair for over a year, and she had a devastated body and mind where wanting to move a finger might cause her to close her legs. To feel as if she was in complete control of herself made her extremely emotional.
It took a few seconds before she rose, revealing her meaty yet tight backside to Wei Wuyin. He had already seen every inch of her body, but when he saw her lively movements and that jiggle, he couldn't help but appreciate his extraordinary work. Damn, he was good.
When she completely got dressed, she straightened her waist-length blonde hair, and realized these robes were extremely well-fitted, as if they were designed with her body in mind. Even the chest area tightly wrapped around her body without much slack, revealing every one of her fine womanly curves.
"So, what did you want me to wait for?" Wei Wuyin asked, curious about her thoughts, already having kept his notebook. Did she really think he had done something untoward towards her?
Lin Ziyan faced Wei Wuyin, her expression revealed a trace of decisive resolution. "When I was...in that state, many people visited me. I was told things in private, and a few had even confided in me their deepest thoughts. Maybe they thought I'd never regain myself or that I wouldn't remember, but whatever the reason, they did."
Wei Wuyin immediately realized that Long Chen's so-called harem, likely Wu Baozhai, Lian Yu, Na Xinyi, and Qing Qiumu might have told her something. Well, he didn't know if Na Xinyi and Qing Qiumu could be considered a part of Long Chen's harem. Regardless, they had to have talked to her. So, he patiently listened.
"Na Xinyi, do you know her struggles?" Lin Ziyan asked, faintly emotional.
Wei Wuyin nodded, replying with: "She mutilated herself because of her unwillingness to sleep with Long Chen, because if she did, then she would lose her chance of ever becoming my wife. A thing she deeply wants, but is refusing to accept because of her feelings of gratitude for Long Chen's support when she was engulfed in hatred."
"...!" Lin Ziyan was thoroughly shaken. He knew? And so clearly at that! She didn't know what to say in response.
But Wei Wuyin continued, "When I first met Na Xinyi, she was trapped in iron shackles and about to be sent off to be a short-lived slave. A slave that would be ravaged by my men until likely a complete total breakdown occurred to alleviate their pent-up bloodlust and reward their good work.
"I noticed what she was, and there was a reason I didn't forcefully extract her Yin Sources and kill her, which would be an act of mercy in comparison to what she was supposed to go through. Because I had seen something in her eyes...It reminded me of someone. It was a desire so strong that it could eclipse the world. A desire for true freedom within the cultivation world. A hungry desire for control, power, wealth and status.
"I refused to snuff out that rare emotional light within those eyes of hers. Because unlike others, this hungry desire could never be satisfied with something little like land or a bit of riches. She had a desire to, wherever she was, to be the absolute highest authority. To be unrivaled, worshipped, and respected." Wei Wuyin's words came out naturally like water from a river.
Na Xinyi had lost everything, and she wasn't even an important figure in her sect. She was a mere outer disciple, unattractive, overlooked, and simply regarded as useless. She was hunted and her allies were killed in droves. She watched those people die and wasn't able to do anything about it.
But for anything to rise from that, anything that wasn't despair, sadness, or hatred was extremely, extremely, extremely rare. Most would just seek survival, peace and calm amidst their uselessness, and accept what they have.
Lin Ziyan went silent. Wei Wuyin thoroughly understood Na Xinyi, even more than she had. Even though Na Xinyi had confided in her while she was in her comatose-like state, spilling her deepest thoughts and uncertainties. She recalled Na Xinyi's words at that time…
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"Ziyan, is it wrong? Is it wrong for me to want more, better? Since I've met Long Chen, I've witnessed his miracles and talent. In the future, he's bound to be someone great, but...that's him. That isn't me. Even amongst the others, like Lian Yu and Wu Baozhai, I have very few advantages.
"Lian Yu is devoted to Long Chen in heart and soul, willing to give up everything for him. Wu Baozhai is intelligent, and helps him manage things, giving him helpful advice regarding matters I'm almost entirely ignorant of. She was a real princess of a country, how can compete with that? Even you have more to offer than me. The only thing I have to offer is my body, my yin, but whenever I think about it…
"It's just...I don't want to be a tool for someone else. I was used in that way before, and I hated it. I wanted to kill...him...because of what he took from me, throwing me away right after. I thought I could only feel content if he was gone from this world, but then I met him again, and he was willing to accept me. I did not expect that. But I...the things I feel...the things I felt.
"I know that Long Chen senses my feelings, my hesitation. He might not say anything, but the way he treats me is different from the others. I know it. It might just be little things, but I know. Am I wrong? Am I overthinking it?
"We've suffered misfortune after misfortune. Wherever we go, we're subjected to other people's desires or jealousy. We can't escape, because we're too weak. If it wasn't for Hong Ru and Xiao Bing's clans protecting us, perhaps we would all be relegated to service girls by now. We have no backing, no power, and we struggle for every ounce of resource we can.
"But then there are some people, some that enjoy resources we fight for with our entire lives on the line as if it was store bought candy. We bitterly cultivate, refine materials and essence stones for years or even decades, when others take a single pill and it's enough to completely eclipse all our efforts in a few days.
"How can he be so different from Long Chen? They came here at the same time, with the same cultivation, and that should've revealed that Long Chen was more talented because he was younger, yet...in a decade, their difference is like the suns and the moon. Now, he's someone with endless influence, wealth, and power. He's feared, worshipped, and his every action demands respect from heaven and earth.
"When we first arrived here, every last one of you told me that becoming his wife, making that choice, was a fool's choice. That staying with Long Chen was correct. Because in the end, Long Chen has unlimited potential. But look at you...look at what happened to you? Why wouldn't I be hesitant? Shouldn't I be? There's no one on the entire planet that would so much as look at you with disrespect if you were with that person!
"Just the sheer mention of his name saved Qing Qiumu's life. While Long Chen could only watch as that guillotine dropped in front of a crowd of a million. That day, I was hoping Long Chen was going to do something, but it was an inch away from her neck. I panicked because I saw the frustration in Long Chen's eyes, the frustration of being useless and I was reminded of my past self all those years back. I screamed out his name, and that blade was shattered instantly.
"Maybe it was that moment when I realized that...I wanted that! I wanted a name that could overturn the world at the sheer mention of it. I don't want to be called 'this man's' woman my entire life, but Na Xinyi! A name that would demand respect from heaven and earth!
"Maybe I'm being foolish, and what that man said all those years ago is false. That I, you, everyone that follows Long Chen, can only be props by his side. But I owe him yet I can't choose. So, I've decided to extract my Yin Sources and give it to him. If only to repay him for all those years. As for if this'll gain his trust once again, whether it'll be worth it in the end, I can only hope."
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That extremely long monologue that bore Na Xinyi's innermost thoughts and feelings was fully recalled by Lin Ziyan. Lin Ziyan knew that Na Xinyi didn't love Wei Wuyin, but she was extremely conflicted. He could provide her the chance at the dream she held in her heart. Moreover, while she didn't love him, she definitely felt something for him. It was an undeniable fact. After all, he had taken her first time, essentially saved her life, and then honorably said that he would take responsibility to provide her happiness, to face heaven and earth with her.
It was hard not to think 'what if'. In the world of cultivation, arranged marriages happen frequently. There are many times where love wasn't originally present, but with time and effort, two people can develop that strong emotional bond. This would be even better because these two people would inevitably have to mutually agree and accept each other.
Then, she recalled her own situation, and she felt similarly conflicted. How can Wei Wuyin and Long Chen have such a profoundly strong connection with each other, to the people in each other's lives.
She had met Wei Wuyin years before she met Long Chen, and when Qing Qiumu had made a passing joke while she was in her comatose-like state, it resonated with her so extremely strongly that it almost shattered her entire life's view.
"When we first met, how old were you?" Lin Ziyan abruptly asked.
Wei Wuyin frowned slightly but answered, "I was twenty-five, nearly twenty-six." He remembered that time quite vividly.
"..." Lin Ziyan went silent for a long while. A brief calculation would say that twenty-two or so years had passed since that day. Her delicate fingers faintly trembled. Wei Wuyin could hear her heart racing rapidly and climbing, her eyes becoming more and more emotional. He couldn't quite understand why this was all happening.
She broke the silence and asked, "The Haven Heart Qi Method, when did you successfully cultivate it, developing your Second Heart of Qi?" The shakiness within her voice had settled, becoming firm and stable.
Only then did Wei Wuyin realize what she meant, why she was asking these questions so emotionally. He found it somewhat amusing, smilingly responding. "Six months after," his words shook Lin Ziyan to the core.
It was indeed six months later. When he was brought to that grassy field, he had experienced a moment of enlightenment that allowed him to freely access his soul, a feat most could only achieve once in their entire lives. This was why recultivating was extremely difficult. The Haven Heart Qi Method originally required one to split their existing Spirit into two, then nurture them both independently.
But he had miraculously devised a better way, essentially separating a portion of his soul once again to create a fresh and complete spirit. Using this revised method allowed him to create four spirits!
Lin Ziyan clenched her fists until her knuckles turned white. Her head was lowered and her expression couldn't be seen.
Step. Step. Step.
She took measured, slow steps towards Wei Wuyin, concealing her expression. Wei Wuyin was interested in what she wanted. When he recalled his words to Long Chen back at Qing Qiumu's execution, he knew someone had told her. While they were words to prod Long Chen and manipulate him at the time, it was true.
It didn't take long before she was a mere meter away from Wei Wuyin. She could smell his unique scent and he could smell hers.
"What is it y-" Wei Wuyin wanted her to simply speak, but he was interrupted! Lin Ziyan sharply lifted her head, not revealing an tearful expression, but one of unyielding resolve. He got momentarily lost for a moment in her ocean-like blue eyes, and before he could regather himself in his brief stupor...
He felt something soft, moist, and warm pressed against his lips.
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